Melania Trump Debuts New White House Mulching Program

[Jimmy Higgins]

WASHINGTON DC -- The First Lady stood in the Rose Garden with a gaggle of Press Reporters to debut the White House's new mulching program.

"This program is an indication of the White House's commitment to reducing waste and repurposing unneeded items to be a greener White House."

The First Lady unveiled the garden which appeared to have a new mulch on it. Mixed with the typical brown or black mulch that was common, included shredded bits of paper and what appeared to be shattered thumb drives and hard disks, as well as the occasional hard drive enclosure.

When asked about the "Western Digital" and "Seagate" enclosure cases, the First Lady appeared at a loss of words and her spokesperson responded that the EPA has assured them this was acceptable material to use in "green mulch" as long as it didn't represent "more than one percent in weight or volume" of the total mulch.

A Wall Street Journal reporter was asked to leave after observing what appeared to be a crushed file server.

 

[ZiprHead]

WASHINGTON DC -- The First Lady stood in the Rose Garden with a gaggle of Press Reporters to debut the White House's new mulching program.

"This program is an indication of the White House's commitment to reducing waste and repurposing unneeded items to be a greener White House."

The First Lady unveiled the garden which appeared to have a new mulch on it. Mixed with the typical brown or black mulch that was common, included shredded bits of paper and what appeared to be shattered thumb drives and hard disks, as well as the occasional hard drive enclosure.

When asked about the "Western Digital" and "Seagate" enclosure cases, the First Lady appeared at a loss of words and her spokesperson responded that the EPA has assured them this was acceptable material to use in "green mulch" as long as it didn't represent "more than one percent in weight or volume" of the total mulch.

A Wall Street Journal reporter was asked to leave after observing what appeared to be a crushed file server.

I would figure they would use the actual reporters for mulch.

 

[TV and credit cards]

I would figure they would use the actual reporters for mulch.

I’m sure that would make someone chipper.

 

[Elixir]

WASHINGTON DC -- The First Lady stood in the Rose Garden with a gaggle of Press Reporters to debut the White House's new mulching program.

"This program is an indication of the White House's commitment to reducing waste and repurposing unneeded items to be a greener White House."

The First Lady unveiled the garden which appeared to have a new mulch on it. Mixed with the typical brown or black mulch that was common, included shredded bits of paper and what appeared to be shattered thumb drives and hard disks, as well as the occasional hard drive enclosure.

When asked about the "Western Digital" and "Seagate" enclosure cases, the First Lady appeared at a loss of words and her spokesperson responded that the EPA has assured them this was acceptable material to use in "green mulch" as long as it didn't represent "more than one percent in weight or volume" of the total mulch.

A Wall Street Journal reporter was asked to leave after observing what appeared to be a crushed file server.

I would figure they would use the actual reporters for mulch.

Depending on what they saw of course. Bone meal makes good compost though.

 

[Fentoine Lum]

WASHINGTON DC -- The First Lady stood in the Rose Garden with a gaggle of Press Reporters to debut the White House's new mulching program.

"This program is an indication of the White House's commitment to reducing waste and repurposing unneeded items to be a greener White House."

The First Lady unveiled the garden which appeared to have a new mulch on it. Mixed with the typical brown or black mulch that was common, included shredded bits of paper and what appeared to be shattered thumb drives and hard disks, as well as the occasional hard drive enclosure.

When asked about the "Western Digital" and "Seagate" enclosure cases, the First Lady appeared at a loss of words and her spokesperson responded that the EPA has assured them this was acceptable material to use in "green mulch" as long as it didn't represent "more than one percent in weight or volume" of the total mulch.

A Wall Street Journal reporter was asked to leave after observing what appeared to be a crushed file server.

I would figure they would use the actual reporters for mulch.

Any bullshit will do, as per usual.