Jimmy Higgins
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Stockholm, Sweden - The Nobel Committee awarded the Nobel Prize to Neuroscientist Pamela LeClair of the Institut des sciences et technologies de Paris for her ground breaking look into what makes pet owners act like complete twats in front of their pets in public.
"I was at a park one lunch and there was a woman with her per dog, and she was acting so bizarre and baby talking," noted Dr. LeClair, describing how she first began formulating this investigation. "When I was heading home from work later that day I really wanted to discover what made people act like such twats."
The next two years Dr. LeClair led an effort to look for clues within the brain to find out what causes some people to act like such idiots. Using science, the research team was able to pinpoint the behavior to the neurotransmitter GABA. The researchers discovered that some people when exposed to pets, though typically just mammals, that the neurotransmitter GABA turns off certain inhibitions and lets people act like complete twats.
The translated published study noted that there was an odd inverse correlation between the mammal's size and the influence from the neurotransmitter. "The smaller the animal, the bigger the 'twat'-like behavior that was observed." When exposed to a Saint Bernard, those with odd reactions were within the limits of the placebo effect. But when exposed to a chihuahua, approximately 37% of participants experienced "substantial" neurological reactions which transformed them into "complete and utter twats" goo'ing, gaa'ing, and baby talking. When the chihuahua was placed in a purse, the meter was pegged at the "highest level recordable (15 JLs)" for 26% of the participants.
The Nobel Committee noted that the effort has done much to explain human interaction with animals and why some people seem predisposed to acting like complete douches in front of them. Scientists are hopeful that this research will help them finally discover what makes Europeans entirely incapable of self control when they are within 5000 meters of a Professional football pitch.
"I was at a park one lunch and there was a woman with her per dog, and she was acting so bizarre and baby talking," noted Dr. LeClair, describing how she first began formulating this investigation. "When I was heading home from work later that day I really wanted to discover what made people act like such twats."
The next two years Dr. LeClair led an effort to look for clues within the brain to find out what causes some people to act like such idiots. Using science, the research team was able to pinpoint the behavior to the neurotransmitter GABA. The researchers discovered that some people when exposed to pets, though typically just mammals, that the neurotransmitter GABA turns off certain inhibitions and lets people act like complete twats.
The translated published study noted that there was an odd inverse correlation between the mammal's size and the influence from the neurotransmitter. "The smaller the animal, the bigger the 'twat'-like behavior that was observed." When exposed to a Saint Bernard, those with odd reactions were within the limits of the placebo effect. But when exposed to a chihuahua, approximately 37% of participants experienced "substantial" neurological reactions which transformed them into "complete and utter twats" goo'ing, gaa'ing, and baby talking. When the chihuahua was placed in a purse, the meter was pegged at the "highest level recordable (15 JLs)" for 26% of the participants.
The Nobel Committee noted that the effort has done much to explain human interaction with animals and why some people seem predisposed to acting like complete douches in front of them. Scientists are hopeful that this research will help them finally discover what makes Europeans entirely incapable of self control when they are within 5000 meters of a Professional football pitch.
