Pat Robertson Just Commanded Hurricane Florence to Move Away from His Property

[phands]

Robertson is a sack of shit....

Hurricane Florence, a Category 4 storm, is set to hit the east coast this week, and government officials in North and South Carolina have already urged residents to get out of its path immediately. It could be the worst storm they’ve seen in three decades.
Virginia isn’t spared from the potential damage either, which is concerning to televangelist Pat Robertson, whose Christian Broadcasting Network is based in Virginia Beach. During a special prayer service for CBN today, he called on God to create a “shield of protection” over innocent people and move the hurricane away from land before it does any damage.

“I don’t want that thing to come in,” Robertson said. “I don’t want it to hurt Regent, I don’t wait it to hurt CBN, I don’t want it to tear up the beautiful campus, I don’t want it to tear these trees down, I don’t want to see any damage, I don’t want a bunch of glass flowing, and I don’t want [damage] all over this area that is counting on us to pray for them.”
Robertson then commanded Florence, in the name of Jesus, to change its path away from land and to spin off into the Atlantic ocean.“We declare in the name of the Lord that you shall go no farther, you shall do no damage in this area,” he said. “We declare a shield of protection all over Tidewater and we declare a shield of protection over those innocent people in the path of this hurricane. In Jesus’ holy name, be out to sea!”
​

It’s almost ingenious how this works. If the hurricane does no damage, Robertson will just take credit for it. If it causes chaos, he’ll come back and say it was God’s will. Needless to say, a bunch of people raising their hands in the air will do as much to stop the hurricane as blowing really hard will to prevent forest fires.
Maybe next time, Robertson can ask God not to create the hurricane altogether…

http://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/...cane-florence-to-move-away-from-his-property/

 

[Jobar]

Back in 2011, some of you may recall that a F3 or F4 tornado passed within a couple of miles of my house. In one place, it ran dead center over a Jehovah's Witnesses Kingdom Hall.

Although that hall had been sitting unused for 3 or 4 years, I still got a big grin out of it- especially since nobody got hurt. (Well, I think there was one broken leg that resulted when it overturned a trailer, a couple of miles before it hit the JWs.)

But that would be nothing compared to watching Florence bash the shit out of Robertson's little holyrolling empire.

Not that I want to wish harm on any of the many innocents that would also suffer as a result, of course. But let's face it, this storm (and maybe one or both of the two lined up behind it) is going to tear up a lot of shit somewhere along the East Coast; I don't think we'd be too wicked if we kinda hope that the eye comes ashore near Virginia Beach.

 

[whollygoats]

Back in 2011, some of you may recall that a F3 or F4 tornado passed within a couple of miles of my house. In one place, it ran dead center over a Jehovah's Witnesses Kingdom Hall.

Although that hall had been sitting unused for 3 or 4 years, I still got a big grin out of it- especially since nobody got hurt. (Well, I think there was one broken leg that resulted when it overturned a trailer, a couple of miles before it hit the JWs.)

But that would be nothing compared to watching Florence bash the shit out of Robertson's little holyrolling empire.

Not that I want to wish harm on any of the many innocents that would also suffer as a result, of course. But let's face it, this storm (and maybe one or both of the two lined up behind it) is going to tear up a lot of shit somewhere along the East Coast; I don't think we'd be too wicked if we kinda hope that the eye comes ashore near Virginia Beach.

I wouldn't mind if one or more hit Mar-a-Lago dead on, either.

Time to drag out my Ventusky maps.

 

[whollygoats]

Y'know...Announcing that shit now, while the storm is still well out to sea takes advantage of the likelihood that the mass of the storm will divert to some other track and 'miss' (relatively) the target which Robertson reputedly called upon his lord to save. Handy, that.

Of course, if it hits dead on and does major damage, then....oops, I guess. God doesn't think much of Robertson's intercession.

It's a crapshoot.

Look Out Cleveland.

 

[Keith&Co.]

Pat did this in 1985.
While we were filling sandbags on the base below Virginia Beach,
He got on the air a prayed tge storm would not hit Va Beach.

The hurricane bounced up the coast, hit North Carolina, went out to sea... Pat prayed mightily, and the storm went back to the exact same spot in North Carolina.
Went out to sea again, Pat prayed... and it went back to Nth Carolina. Same spot.

By then it was down to just a big storm, wandered off inland, did not destroy Va Beach. Pat took credit.
Viewership went thru the roof... except for one city in North Carolina, where they were canceling memberships.

 

[abaddon]

“I don’t want... I don’t want... I don’t want... I don’t want... I don’t want... I don’t want... I don’t want... I don’t want...

... We declare in the name of the Lord that you shall go no farther, you shall do no damage in this area...

What stands out for me is Christians are at war against reality and want to enlist God in their battle against a reality that he's presumably the maker of. How is the creation not an aspect of the creator?

Christianity is such a stark contrast to some ancient and eastern philosophies/religions. In them, there's no war of humanity against nature -- you align your mind with how nature is, else you suffer from your own delusional antagonism towards how things are. Stressing over what you don't want is one of the major causes of "dukkha" in Buddhism. But Christianity seems to wallow in it. "I don't want to die, I want the world to be different, I want the things I like to be eternal and the things I don't like to go away, I want my property safe, and I want more than I've got."

To sum it up: "I, me, mine, I, me, mine."

So the persistent wanting of what isn't yours to control seems to be what Christianity is all about. Whereas the persistent letting-go of what isn't yours to control is what most other ancient and eastern philosophies were partly or wholly about about: Stoicism, Epicureanism, Pyrrhonism, Taoism, Buddhism are the ones I've read about enough for this contrast to stand out in bold relief for me.

If I read the gospels with no background in Christianity, I'd think it was about overcoming "I wantism". The death and resurrection look like yet another symbol of dying to one's petty egocentric self and being born into someone bigger and better. Both three and death are universal symbols of change in myth and dreams. But, add the Christian explanations that ignore psychology and comparative mythology and it all turns ridiculous.

 

[steve_bank]

He blamed disasters on gays every once in a while.

Maybe he could stand on the shore and part the waters...

 

[whollygoats]

He blamed disasters on gays every once in a while.

Maybe he could stand on the shore and part the waters...

When a storm damages any one of a number of 'dens of inequity', then it has been his god's righteous judgement.
When a storm damages the property and lives of good 'Christians', then is it is a trial of faith.

Read Job.

 

[steve_bank]

He blamed disasters on gays every once in a while.

Maybe he could stand on the shore and part the waters...

When a storm damages any one of a number of 'dens of inequity', then it has been his god's righteous judgement.
When a storm damages the property and lives of good 'Christians', then is it is a trial of faith.

Read Job.

Job is a great perennial story. Shit happens to good people and forgiveness leads to restoration of the spirit.

From what I read it was probably written as allegory of captivity.