Redefining relativity to account for Trump?

[Jimmy Higgins]

Hello folks. I wanted to provide a scary statistic that will scare you a lot. It is a simple statistic, but one that will make you frightened.

The protest and killing in Charlottesville was one year ago. Yeah... one year. You might be thinking... wasn't that two or three years ago? I'd also forgive anyone that thought maybe it occurred when Obama was President. It seems so far in the past.

No. It was just 12 months ago. The Trump Administration has supersaturated the news cycle with so much garbage, crap, treason, and mind numbing bullshit that time, according to world renowned Physicists, has actually slowed down.

Physicists are learning that it is possible for time to slow down for an observer if they are inundated with enough bullshit by the Trump Administration. Physicists are uncertain as to the effect of bullshit related time dilation or BRTD, but they are theorizing that Americans have actually experienced 1.8 years of time in which the remainder of the world has only experienced 1 year.

 

[Elixir]

Hello folks. I wanted to provide a scary statistic that will scare you a lot. It is a simple statistic, but one that will make you frightened.

[FONT=&]The protest and killing in Charlottesville was one year ago. Yeah... one year. You might be thinking... wasn't that two or three years ago? I'd also forgive anyone that thought maybe it occurred when Obama was President. It seems so far in the past.

No. It was just 12 months ago. The Trump Administration has supersaturated the news cycle with so much garbage, crap, treason, and mind numbing bullshit that time, according to world renowned Physicists, has actually slowed down.

Physicists are learning that it is possible for time to slow down for an observer if they are inundated with enough bullshit by the Trump Administration. Physicists are uncertain as to the effect of bullshit related time dilation or BRTD, but they are theorizing that Americans have actually experienced 1.8 years of time in which the remainder of the world has only experienced 1 year. [/FONT]

It's a well known phenomenon, occurring any time the news cycle moves at relativistic speeds. Right now it is measured at .95C, so you can use this formula to get the exact amount of perceived time that has elapsed:t = t0/(1-v2/c2)1/2

Well - that didn't copy correctly, so use this graph: