I live in West Virginia. That is a state, not a part of Virginia. Well, West Virginia is trumpster, or what you may call "redhat" territory. I'm referring only to my area of the country when I give this advice. Let me know how to lay low in your particular area. Knowing is half the battle.
1. Wear a red hat
2. When asked what you think about this whole Trump thing, say "more power to him", and maintain eye contact.
3. Wear a Rebel flag on your body. This should actually be #1, just above putting one in your yard. #3 I suppose would be on your vehicle. Extra points if it is a truck.
4. Act natural. They can smell fear. Most of them are pretty low functioning but don't underestimate them in large numbers. They feed off of each other's stupidity. Best to find your way into the mob, when encountering one. I was stopped at Kroger today. I felt like I was being interrogated. I talked my way out of it with some 50 cent words and a fist bump. Just be careful and trust your instincts. Unless you have bad instinct. In that case, just do exactly what I say.
5. Do not mention anything about politics. Redhats don't like politics. They don't know politics. This is a very important one to remember. You can easily get someone else in trouble, even if you know the right words to say. I could smell the blood of bitten tongues in Kroger, but at least they aren't being CUT OUT yet. Remember, do NOT bring up ANYTHING political. Don't even talk about late night comedy shows.
6. Carry on as usual. This is similar to act natural, but it is important to point out that you can't be missing work right now. You need to wear a happy face. Hypothetically you could take benzodiazepines and adderal if necessary. A deadly combination for the heart in large amounts, but tiny doses to get you through a redhat day at work, yeah it may help. I joke about the drugs, but what does it matter anyway? Slip up and you're a GONNER! Drug yourself carefully. Carry yourself properly. Remember, you're happy that your candidate won. Etch it into your inner thigh with a stick pen if you need to, for as painful as that may be, forgetting this advice will bring much worse pain. Live the lie, if you wish to live.
7. Be careful online. You never know who is watching you. Social media is for spying on people. We all know that. We all do it, and shut up if you disagree. The slightest offhanded comment will have you LYNCHED within a matter of hours. You don't want to slow down on social media, because that will just look suspicious, but you do want to think a few more precious seconds before clicking like. This is a game played in two worlds and both will be Aye Okay if you wait it out and follow the rules. Country music is like a magic cloak. You're going to love some of it. I was really surprised.. But yeah, you need to be careful online, and change your music tastes. Try not to rouse suspicion when you do it. If Ted Cruz can do it, anybody can. Ted started listening to country music on 911. Before that, he liked German vampire industrial. Quite a change, but he pulled it off. Remember to like things safely please.
8. Wear Stetson. There is something about Stetson. Trust me on this one. Drakkar Noir worked the other day. I was accosted by one of them on the street and everything went fine. I was heavily questioned but slinked away with no difficulty. They can smell more than just fear, ya know. Certain pheromones can be masked by Stetson (for sure), and Drakkar seems to be Okay so far. Just don't push your luck, and good luck with fooling their keen sense of smell.
9. Carry a small weapon. Do not carry a gun. A lock blade is more efficient and it is unseen. Guns just stir fear. They will go to their trucks and get their guns, if they see yours. Then you're in a sticky situation. Can you talk your way out of that one? A small spider blade can get you out of a bad situation silently. They are roused by loud noises. Think of them as zombies that shoot back. Now do you get the picture? Just don't carry, but stay close enough to your vehicle to retrieve it, if one of them spots you.
10. Follow 1-9
1. Wear a red hat
2. When asked what you think about this whole Trump thing, say "more power to him", and maintain eye contact.
3. Wear a Rebel flag on your body. This should actually be #1, just above putting one in your yard. #3 I suppose would be on your vehicle. Extra points if it is a truck.
4. Act natural. They can smell fear. Most of them are pretty low functioning but don't underestimate them in large numbers. They feed off of each other's stupidity. Best to find your way into the mob, when encountering one. I was stopped at Kroger today. I felt like I was being interrogated. I talked my way out of it with some 50 cent words and a fist bump. Just be careful and trust your instincts. Unless you have bad instinct. In that case, just do exactly what I say.
5. Do not mention anything about politics. Redhats don't like politics. They don't know politics. This is a very important one to remember. You can easily get someone else in trouble, even if you know the right words to say. I could smell the blood of bitten tongues in Kroger, but at least they aren't being CUT OUT yet. Remember, do NOT bring up ANYTHING political. Don't even talk about late night comedy shows.
6. Carry on as usual. This is similar to act natural, but it is important to point out that you can't be missing work right now. You need to wear a happy face. Hypothetically you could take benzodiazepines and adderal if necessary. A deadly combination for the heart in large amounts, but tiny doses to get you through a redhat day at work, yeah it may help. I joke about the drugs, but what does it matter anyway? Slip up and you're a GONNER! Drug yourself carefully. Carry yourself properly. Remember, you're happy that your candidate won. Etch it into your inner thigh with a stick pen if you need to, for as painful as that may be, forgetting this advice will bring much worse pain. Live the lie, if you wish to live.
7. Be careful online. You never know who is watching you. Social media is for spying on people. We all know that. We all do it, and shut up if you disagree. The slightest offhanded comment will have you LYNCHED within a matter of hours. You don't want to slow down on social media, because that will just look suspicious, but you do want to think a few more precious seconds before clicking like. This is a game played in two worlds and both will be Aye Okay if you wait it out and follow the rules. Country music is like a magic cloak. You're going to love some of it. I was really surprised.. But yeah, you need to be careful online, and change your music tastes. Try not to rouse suspicion when you do it. If Ted Cruz can do it, anybody can. Ted started listening to country music on 911. Before that, he liked German vampire industrial. Quite a change, but he pulled it off. Remember to like things safely please.
8. Wear Stetson. There is something about Stetson. Trust me on this one. Drakkar Noir worked the other day. I was accosted by one of them on the street and everything went fine. I was heavily questioned but slinked away with no difficulty. They can smell more than just fear, ya know. Certain pheromones can be masked by Stetson (for sure), and Drakkar seems to be Okay so far. Just don't push your luck, and good luck with fooling their keen sense of smell.
9. Carry a small weapon. Do not carry a gun. A lock blade is more efficient and it is unseen. Guns just stir fear. They will go to their trucks and get their guns, if they see yours. Then you're in a sticky situation. Can you talk your way out of that one? A small spider blade can get you out of a bad situation silently. They are roused by loud noises. Think of them as zombies that shoot back. Now do you get the picture? Just don't carry, but stay close enough to your vehicle to retrieve it, if one of them spots you.
10. Follow 1-9