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Tens of Millions Elated That Millions Will Be Frightened and Hopeless

Jimmy Higgins

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WASHINGTON DC -- With the announcement of the decision in Dobbs v Jackson Women's Health Organization, tens of millions of people across the US were ecstatic that millions of women would be looking at pregnancy kit results with a level of dread and fear not ever known in this country. Tens of millions celebrated that in bathrooms in over half the states in America, some women will feel their chests first collapse, then fill with burning pressure based on the test result seen on the indicator. GOP members of Congress were elated that these women would like feel like they were suffocating as their mind raced over what options that likely would require an airplane ticket or a drive over 12 hours.

Vice President Pence released a statement indicating he wouldn't be happy until all women in the country looked upon a pregnancy test kit result with the same level of dread and hopelessness as those in states where abortion with shortly be banned.

The Attorney General of Missouri, Eric Schmidt stated in a statement that this would be a "monumental day for the sanctity of life" as woman, including rape victims, will need to weigh options that include the risk of hemorrhaging to death to end the short-term pregnancy.
 
It is more freethought satire than humor. Well, there really is no humor in this one.
 
BTW, The Missouri Attorney General was the one who was suing school districts for having COVID-19 mask requirements. *sigh*
 
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