The DJT Ballroom is projected to open well before the chubby one leaves office. He probably envisions emceeing some future Kennedy Center Honors from there. I would suggest another broadcast model: the 1994 Jackson Family Honors, which NBC ran in 1994. It was a one-time event; there had been talk about making it an ongoing event, but once was enough. If you're old enough to remember this show, it was beyond cringe. The Jacksons sat in a row like they were America's royalty, as various musical acts performed for their pleasure. And who better than the Jacksons to bestow honors? Were they not the ne plus ultra of the American family? Didn't we all want to be like them?
So let's have the Trump Family Honors, a three-hour extravaganza direct from the DJT Ballroom and Pavilion of the Arts. Trump + Malaria + all the Trump brats on a raised dais, while down below the musical guests perform. Roseanne to host. Musical acts Sexxy Red, Kanye, Jason Aldean, Kid Rock, and the Nuge. Presentation of The Golden Shitcoin to America's biggest crypto fraudster of the year. Competition for Most Successful Liar, a four-way runoff with Rod Blagojevich, George Santos, Jussie Smollett, and, for dark horse, Ashlee Simpson. (Yeah, I know they were caught in their lies, and mostly fessed up, but that leaves Trump with the opportunity to laugh and say, "Amateurs!!") In the final hour, with excitement mounting, will come the Trump Decapitation, an actual execution of a Deep State foe (or K______ G______, for poetic justice) , determined among the Trumps by secret ballot. Guillotine to be operated by Stephen Miller or Karoline Leavitt, based on which one, in the opinion of the family, delivers the most obsequious speech of loyalty. Sponsored by Lockheed Martin, Apple, Amazon, Coinbase, Depends, and Cialis. To be mandated viewing the following day in all Oklahoma public schools.