The Existence of Dog(s)

[T.G.G. Moogly]

I believe in mine.

Of all the Dogs I have ever known or known about, the one I know is real is the one I have never seen, never fed, never slept with, never gave a bath, never brushed, touched or gave a kiss. It's the one that never sat at my feet hoping for a treat, or met me at the door unconditionally ecstatic that I'm home. It's the one I never took for a midnight walk so it could catch up on all the smells along the walk, take a pee, a poop, and sniff out a rabbit.

It's the one that never laid it's paws across my chest at 5:00am on my day off hoping to fetch, or licked the salty sweat from my legs. It's the one that never barked at a knock at the door or leaped into a stranger's lap. It's the one who's belly I never rubbed until its eyes closed and it started to snore. It's the one that never farted while sleeping at my feet or couldn't wait to get outside to eat the wet grass. It's not the one from which I pulled numerous ticks while running my fingers through it's fur feeling for anything that shouldn't be there. And nor is it the one I could make jump and growl just by getting low on the floor and staring at.

It's not the one that was so small as a pup I thought there was something wrong but then grew into a companion that herded me and the kids around the house. It's not the one that leaped from the highest step, landed, rolled and then ran back to do it all again. It's not the one that took three tries to get up on the sofa or who's head I could barely see as it lay in the cool of the tall grass.

And it's certainly not the one that dove into the surf to retrieve its ball, or into the lake or out of the kayak to get across the stream. It's certainly none of those.

I believe in my Dog.

 

[none]

I'm open to the idea

 

[Treedbear]

I had a dog once. It will never be the one I pick up poop for.

 

[blastula]

Before I convert, what are Dog's moral commandments? I hope they are the same as mine.

 

[GenesisNemesis]

There is no Dog.

 

[another1]

I've always been a cat person. Bout the same cost to feed. Thank God for pets.

 

[none]

I believe in mine.

Of all the Dogs I have ever known or known about, the one I know is real is the one I have never seen, never fed, never slept with, never gave a bath, never brushed, touched or gave a kiss. It's the one that never sat at my feet hoping for a treat, or met me at the door unconditionally ecstatic that I'm home. It's the one I never took for a midnight walk so it could catch up on all the smells along the walk, take a pee, a poop, and sniff out a rabbit.

It's the one that never laid it's paws across my chest at 5:00am on my day off hoping to fetch, or licked the salty sweat from my legs. It's the one that never barked at a knock at the door or leaped into a stranger's lap. It's the one who's belly I never rubbed until its eyes closed and it started to snore. It's the one that never farted while sleeping at my feet or couldn't wait to get outside to eat the wet grass. It's not the one from which I pulled numerous ticks while running my fingers through it's fur feeling for anything that shouldn't be there. And nor is it the one I could make jump and growl just by getting low on the floor and staring at.

It's not the one that was so small as a pup I thought there was something wrong but then grew into a companion that herded me and the kids around the house. It's not the one that leaped from the highest step, landed, rolled and then ran back to do it all again. It's not the one that took three tries to get up on the sofa or who's head I could barely see as it lay in the cool of the tall grass.

And it's certainly not the one that dove into the surf to retrieve its ball, or into the lake or out of the kayak to get across the stream. It's certainly none of those.

I believe in my Dog.

And behold that dog cast jerry from the garden and caused a great flood

 

[Underseer]

There is no Dog.

Prove that his dog doesn't exist.

You can't do it, can you? Ah ha! The proves that his dog exists!

Also, the only reason you don't believe in his dog is because you want to be a bad person.

 

[none]

A dog took a rib from Jerry and made Tom

 

[T.G.G. Moogly]

Before I convert, what are Dog's moral commandments? I hope they are the same as mine.

My Dog's moral command number one is to give love unconditionally but always remember to hide under the bed whenever there is lightning and thunder.

 

[Colonel Sanders]

My Dog is the only true Dog. Yours are all false. His Dogness is proven by the fact that He will not allow me to post His image in this sacrilegious thread.


Or maybe it's because it's the wrong size.

 

[blastula]

Before I convert, what are Dog's moral commandments? I hope they are the same as mine.

My Dog's moral command number one is to give love unconditionally but always remember to hide under the bed whenever there is lightning and thunder.

I'm sold, as long as I don't have take it literally and can make it mean whatever I want.

 

[Eldarion Lathria]

There is no Dog but Dog, and Snoopy is his prophet!

Eldarion Lathria

 

[Tom Sawyer]

Heathen. Snoopy is a false prophet. Follow Marmaduke or be cast forever into the darkness of a yard with no grass where the ball is always fake thrown and pictures of cats abound.

 

[T.G.G. Moogly]

Heathen. Snoopy is a false prophet. Follow Marmaduke or be cast forever into the darkness of a yard with no grass where the ball is always fake thrown and pictures of cats abound.

My Dog must certainly be egalitarian, so I don't think it would tolerate greater or lesser prophets. It likely doesn't tolerate prophets at all, except to maybe raise its leg and leave its mark, while barking to remind us of all the joys in life.

I'm fairly certain that whenever you hear barking it is the word of Dog telling us to find happiness while pissing on the would-be prophets leg.

 

[Learner]

There has been great 'error' of belief according to the canines caninites. The dark forces have deceitfully 'reversed' the understanding of the religion to mislead its followers.

Hidden in the reverse spelling of D.O.G. !?


er .. perhaps not

 

[T.G.G. Moogly]

There has been great 'error' of belief according to the canines caninites. The dark forces have deceitfully 'reversed' the understanding of the religion to mislead its followers.

Hidden in the reverse spelling of D.O.G. !?


er .. perhaps not

You are beginning to understand the power of Dog. Trust in Dog. Allow Dog into your heart and you will never be alone. Dog is love, and the beginning and end of all things. With Dog all things are possible.