If every colonized planet sends out colony spaceships to its uncolonized neighbors, then the colonized region will grow at a steady rate:
(neighbor distance) / (colonization time)
where (colonization time) = (travel time) + (colony-development time) where the latter is the time between arrival of a colony ship and the development of the colony to the point where it can send out colony ships.
From stars' velocities relative to their local average, one would need at least 50 km/s, and that is 50 parsecs per million years, or 1 parsec per 20,000 years.
The nearest stars are a few parsecs away: List of nearest stars and brown dwarfs (56 stars, all closer than 5 parsecs), List of nearest bright stars (out to 15 parsecs). So I'll use an average travel distance of about 10 parsecs. That means traveling for about 200,000 years.
This time seems like plenty of time to found a colony and build it up to the point where it can easily send out more colony ships. So I'll take that time as much less.
Thus, there is a wave of advance of colonization at about 50 km/s or 50 parsecs per million years. The distance to our Galaxy's center is about 8 kiloparsecs, and its radius about 15 - 25 kpc. So it would take about 160 million years to spread to the center, and about 500 - 700 million years to spread to the farthest outer rim.
This is still younger than our Galaxy.
I can't see why you are using stellar velocities as how fast a civilization can spread. Fusion Orion can do a lot better than that and almost certainly will work.
You appear to be assuming that building a starship will eventually be so cheap that a small group of disaffected people looking to start over without their government will be able to afford to pay for one, as if they were Voortrekkers building covered wagons. If we assume instead that a starship is always going to be a massive undertaking that requires the commitment of a national or planetary government, then the calculation needs to take into account whether the government has a good reason for deploying a large fraction of its available resources for many years. It seems to me the only nation-scale problem for which a starship is likely to become a practical solution is extinction insurance. But once a species has expanded to a half a dozen planets spread over ten or twenty light-years, it will as you say be very hard for intelligence to do itself in. Natural disasters, likewise. So what motive is there for further expansion, that would be convincing to rational politicians?Eventually enough people who want to push the horizons will get together and head for a nearby star and colonize it. So long as there is adequate matter around the star it doesn't need planets. The progress will be very slow, but that doesn't matter. Lets say it takes a thousand years of civilization before such a group forms. They spend 500 years in flight (a reasonable value for the closest stars.) That's 5ly in 1500y, or 1/300th of lightspeed. X the size of the galaxy means they'll have crossed it in 30My. Lets figure they didn't go straight and double that, still only 60My. That's not even 1% of the age of the universe.
Now, they might be deliberately choosing to avoid stars that have the potential for indigenous life but we should still see evidence of them about other stars. They don't need to be actively seeking communication for us to notice them.
All I can conclude is that we are alone in this galaxy...
Not that every group of disaffected people can choose that option, but that there will be some that can. Given enough time I see no reason to think this wouldn't be the case. The price of basically everything other than labor and rare materials drops over time. Given enough time it should get down into the realm of the wealthy.
Look at Earth--50 years ago rocketery was in the realm of governments, individuals had no hope of trying. In today's world the brightest star is SpaceX--basically one man's dream. The government will probably never have another manned rocket, space will join the atmosphere as the realm of private enterprise.
And I don't think politicians will colonize the stars for species survival. It wouldn't help their survival.