Grendel
Member
THE JIHNN
These beings do exist. And I should know, to this day I'm a living legacy of just such an encounter with one.
I was walking along the beach in no particular frame of mind. Just picking up pebbles and tossing them into the sea, watching the wild surf carry them far out of reach. When I come across a bottle. A very heavy bottle. It wasn't made of glass, some sort of metal, but an unidentifiable metal. I carried it home and put it in the vice in the workshop. With a large pair of multi-grips and heaps of WD40 spray eventually the lid started to turn.
Imagine my surprise when smoke started issuing from it. It filled the workshop, flowed out and filled the yard. It resolved itself into a huge Jihnn. Female, and as large as the sky.
She looked down on me and said, 'I've been in that bottle for 12,000 years. It's over and now I'm off, it's party time. I was put in there under Solomon's Seal, and Nimrod his armour bearer, personally screwed down the cap. Only a human who would not be born for another 12,000 years could undo it. Unfortunately I have to give you three wishes, so don't waste my time. What are they?'
I was still recovering from the shock. But Jihnns are impatient creatures so I gathered my thoughts as quickly as I could. Now I know that some people at this point would wish for fabulous wealth, and others might wish for fabulous health, but I have always wanted a large penis instead of the feeble little willie I have.
So I said, 'I want a very large penis, and may Solomon's curse plague you if you fail me.' I added the curse to give weight to my words, I felt it was the right thing to say. Something that Nimrod himself would have said though I had never met the man.
The Jihnn blinked. And I had an enormous penis. But the stupid bitch had overdone it. It was a writhing slithering monster stretching across the yard. I said, 'You stupid bitch. What can I do with that. Do you think I'm going to roll that up and back-pack it round in a truck?. Put it back, Put it back.'
The Jihnn blinked and there was my sad stubby little willie, back again.
I said, 'Ok, now let's start this whole thing over'
But the Jihnn said, 'I'm afraid not stumpy dick, you've had two wishes, you got one left'
O my God. Was that fair? Was that in the spirit of Solomon's orders? I argued fiercely with her. It nearly came to blows but she was bigger than me and she carried the day. I thought to myself, only one chance left. I gotta get it right with this she-devil or she'll be gone. It's my last chance. I gave it careful consideration, despite the fact that she was hurrying me and toe-tapping her feet.
I said, 'I want a penis whose knob just reaches the ground. No longer, no shorter.'
And do you know what that bitch did? She cut off my legs at the thighs.
Grendel
These beings do exist. And I should know, to this day I'm a living legacy of just such an encounter with one.
I was walking along the beach in no particular frame of mind. Just picking up pebbles and tossing them into the sea, watching the wild surf carry them far out of reach. When I come across a bottle. A very heavy bottle. It wasn't made of glass, some sort of metal, but an unidentifiable metal. I carried it home and put it in the vice in the workshop. With a large pair of multi-grips and heaps of WD40 spray eventually the lid started to turn.
Imagine my surprise when smoke started issuing from it. It filled the workshop, flowed out and filled the yard. It resolved itself into a huge Jihnn. Female, and as large as the sky.
She looked down on me and said, 'I've been in that bottle for 12,000 years. It's over and now I'm off, it's party time. I was put in there under Solomon's Seal, and Nimrod his armour bearer, personally screwed down the cap. Only a human who would not be born for another 12,000 years could undo it. Unfortunately I have to give you three wishes, so don't waste my time. What are they?'
I was still recovering from the shock. But Jihnns are impatient creatures so I gathered my thoughts as quickly as I could. Now I know that some people at this point would wish for fabulous wealth, and others might wish for fabulous health, but I have always wanted a large penis instead of the feeble little willie I have.
So I said, 'I want a very large penis, and may Solomon's curse plague you if you fail me.' I added the curse to give weight to my words, I felt it was the right thing to say. Something that Nimrod himself would have said though I had never met the man.
The Jihnn blinked. And I had an enormous penis. But the stupid bitch had overdone it. It was a writhing slithering monster stretching across the yard. I said, 'You stupid bitch. What can I do with that. Do you think I'm going to roll that up and back-pack it round in a truck?. Put it back, Put it back.'
The Jihnn blinked and there was my sad stubby little willie, back again.
I said, 'Ok, now let's start this whole thing over'
But the Jihnn said, 'I'm afraid not stumpy dick, you've had two wishes, you got one left'
O my God. Was that fair? Was that in the spirit of Solomon's orders? I argued fiercely with her. It nearly came to blows but she was bigger than me and she carried the day. I thought to myself, only one chance left. I gotta get it right with this she-devil or she'll be gone. It's my last chance. I gave it careful consideration, despite the fact that she was hurrying me and toe-tapping her feet.
I said, 'I want a penis whose knob just reaches the ground. No longer, no shorter.'
And do you know what that bitch did? She cut off my legs at the thighs.
Grendel