The Mythological Omni-God Official Requirements Checklist

[funinspace]

Since Lumpenproletariat won't reveal the contents of his special The Mythological Hero Official Requirements Checklist (MHORC), I thought I'd start a checklist of an Omnimonogod.

Here are a few random thoughts I can think of that could be part of a Mythological Omni-God Official Requirements Checklist or MOORC. Now I am of course making quite a few assumptions. This god for some odd reason still wants to create a universe with a bazzilian stars/galaxies. It still wants to let it/life evolve over the eons. It decides that humans have a perpetual soul and need to stumble thru lots of travails thru their lives, before becoming disembodied into a new alien permanent form. Some humans will get shit, and others will get a much better life….c'est la vie. Ok, enough of that incomplete description…


MOORC list:
1. Only 1 god, without weird other heads poking out.
2. A god who revealed himself, as humans became more organized (assuming a god that let evolution work its way forward). So it should have laid out some basic guidance circa 2000-2500 BC. It could have provided the exact same tablets (in each respective language) to the Sumerians, Chinese and Egyptians and made sure that at least parts of these clay tablets survived the milenia.
3. God wouldn’t direct any special followers to commit genocide, rape, enslave people, nor have women treated as chattel. In fact it would point these things out as immoral.
4. God would impart some practical insight well beyond the people’s time to know such things. For example it would have been helpful to let people know about germs they can’t see, but are real. Also, it could have said don’t shit upstream of where one draws their water.
5. A just and loving God wouldn’t threaten or do mass genocide nor torture “souls” after the body dies. A promised land could easily be created by an all-powerful deity without genocide.
6. A human not believing in said god, would not face any form of wrath, for simply not believing the evidence.
7. A god would not play hide-n-seek. His tablets wouldn’t have any sort of stupid fake fables like Noah’s Deluge. If he wanted to inject a creation story, people wouldn’t have to turn sentences into a pile of contorted knots, just to make not conflict with later scientific understanding.

I’m sure many more could be brought up, but 7 is a nice number…

 

[Keith&Co.]

2. A god who revealed himself, as humans became more organized (assuming a god that let evolution work its way forward). So it should have laid out some basic guidance circa 2000-2500 BC. It could have provided the exact same tablets (in each respective language) to the Sumerians, Chinese and Egyptians and made sure that at least parts of these clay tablets survived the milenia.

UPDATES!

We write documents for the care and feeding of nuclear weapons. A lot of time and effort go into getting them as correct as possible when they're issued. Then we issue an updated copy at least once per year, because we find:
1) some things were wrong
2) some things have changed: Equipment Upgrades to be accounted for
3) some things have changed: Policy changes that affect the procedures
and
4) Some things that were not wrong, and nothing's changed, but some sailors are mistaken about how to read/interpret something that needs to be corrected. We have to spell things out when they're out there, wrongthinking their way into incidents.

So in addition to a god of relevation making sure everyone's got the revelation, he'd have to make sure the whole point of the relevation remains relevant despite translation difficulties, transcription errors, changes in the host culture, and attempts to willfully redirect the contents for personal bias.

 

[Tom Sawyer]

So in addition to a god of relevation making sure everyone's got the revelation, he'd have to make sure the whole point of the relevation remains relevant despite translation difficulties, transcription errors, changes in the host culture, and attempts to willfully redirect the contents for personal bias.

Which is the central point. It would be absolutely clear to everyone hearing about it with no outstanding questions, disagreements or misunderstandings. So, if some god gives a revelation about itself and one person on the planet remains only 99.9995% convinced that it's the genuine article, that wasn't an omni god giving the revelation.

 

[funinspace]

So in addition to a god of relevation making sure everyone's got the revelation, he'd have to make sure the whole point of the relevation remains relevant despite translation difficulties, transcription errors, changes in the host culture, and attempts to willfully redirect the contents for personal bias.

Which is the central point. It would be absolutely clear to everyone hearing about it with no outstanding questions, disagreements or misunderstandings. So, if some god gives a revelation about itself and one person on the planet remains only 99.9995% convinced that it's the genuine article, that wasn't an omni god giving the revelation.

Wait a sec...that comes later, after the physical death. Then everyone is lobotomized, and become good little robots for eternity signing kumbaya 4,323,298,183,132,321 times a millennia.

A liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttttttttttttttttlllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeee more seriously, I wouldn't see this as a big requirement. If this god made sure that at least portions of the original documents survived, that could be cross referenced against ones in another language from 2,000 miles away, that would be pretty tough to ignore. I could see needing 1 or 2 updates, to cover some things, but if this god wanted us to have a somewhat freely directed life on this speck, then it would seem reasonable (in a twisted way) that it not do quarterly updates.

 

[Keith&Co.]

I was thinking of the verse in KJV for not suffering a witch to live, though. King James was the target of an assassination attempt by a coven of witches. I've seen suggestions that 'sorceress' or 'poisoner' would be better translation, but either James or someone seeking favor with James substituted something.
And even if we checked other languages, the culture held by the receivers of each scroll may not QUITE match our current setting directly. Is there a difference between witch and shaman? Or witchdoctor?
Does it mean to kill Wiccans?
After 4500 years, some of the concepts may not have the best interpretation, we may no longer have the cultural concepts to allow the best translation.

 

[Tom Sawyer]

Which is the central point. It would be absolutely clear to everyone hearing about it with no outstanding questions, disagreements or misunderstandings. So, if some god gives a revelation about itself and one person on the planet remains only 99.9995% convinced that it's the genuine article, that wasn't an omni god giving the revelation.

Wait a sec...that comes later, after the physical death. Then everyone is lobotomized, and become good little robots for eternity signing kumbaya 4,323,298,183,132,321 times a millennia.

A liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttttttttttttttttlllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeee more seriously, I wouldn't see this as a big requirement. If this god made sure that at least portions of the original documents survived, that could be cross referenced against ones in another language from 2,000 miles away, that would be pretty tough to ignore. I could see needing 1 or 2 updates, to cover some things, but if this god wanted us to have a somewhat freely directed life on this speck, then it would seem reasonable (in a twisted way) that it not do quarterly updates.

And if he could do that once, it would be absolutely no more effort for him to do something similar 846,434,343,576,343,645 times to individualize the proof for each and every person who ever has or ever will live in a manner that would convince each of us beyond any doubt. Why half-ass it when he won't save any energy by doing a poor job?

 

[jonJ]

OK, I know this is a wild and crazy idea from way out in left field, but how about a god who shows up? Appears, and shakes hands, and chats, and holds audiences, and wanders around and appears on TV and publicly corrects people who get his ideas wrong? In multiple places at multiple times, naturally, to cope with the workload, but always with the same appearance and personality, and always on message? Just like a real person.

 

[funinspace]

I was thinking of the verse in KJV for not suffering a witch to live, though. King James was the target of an assassination attempt by a coven of witches. I've seen suggestions that 'sorceress' or 'poisoner' would be better translation, but either James or someone seeking favor with James substituted something.
And even if we checked other languages, the culture held by the receivers of each scroll may not QUITE match our current setting directly. Is there a difference between witch and shaman? Or witchdoctor?
Does it mean to kill Wiccans?
After 4500 years, some of the concepts may not have the best interpretation, we may no longer have the cultural concepts to allow the best translation.

That verse might be necessary in a Harry Potter world

Yeah, no matter how one slices and dices it, in the end the god thingy really doesn't make much sense.

- - - Updated - - -

Wait a sec...that comes later, after the physical death. Then everyone is lobotomized, and become good little robots for eternity signing kumbaya 4,323,298,183,132,321 times a millennia.

A liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttttttttttttttttlllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeee more seriously, I wouldn't see this as a big requirement. If this god made sure that at least portions of the original documents survived, that could be cross referenced against ones in another language from 2,000 miles away, that would be pretty tough to ignore. I could see needing 1 or 2 updates, to cover some things, but if this god wanted us to have a somewhat freely directed life on this speck, then it would seem reasonable (in a twisted way) that it not do quarterly updates.

And if he could do that once, it would be absolutely no more effort for him to do something similar 846,434,343,576,343,645 times to individualize the proof for each and every person who ever has or ever will live in a manner that would convince each of us beyond any doubt. Why half-ass it when he won't save any energy by doing a poor job?

Why, why, why...why even bother having an earthly stage before the Robots in Heaven?

 

[Kharakov]

MOORC list:

MOORC.. lol.

4. God would impart some practical insight well beyond the people’s time to know such things. For example it would have been helpful to let people know about germs they can’t see, but are real. Also, it could have said don’t shit upstream of where one draws their water.

Disembodied Voice "Don't do that."
Why?
DV "It is bad, you might get sick."
1st Person doesn't do it.
Person who doesn't listen to DV does it, and does not get sick immediately.

Some people do what the person who doesn't listen to DV does, because the person who doesn't listen is strong and brave. It is easier to poop and drink where they want, and they do not get sick immediately.