The XXXIVth Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

[hurtinbuckaroo]

"Conceived to honor the memory of Victorian novelist Edward George Earl Bulwer-Lytton and to encourage unpublished authors who do not have the time to actually write entire books, the contest challenges entrants to compose bad opening sentences to imaginary novels."

http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/2016win.html

What a treasure trove. I'm trying to read these at work, but I keep laughing out loud.

 

[Jayjay]

Captain Blackheart well knew the penalties for piracy, but out here in international waters there was no one to stop him, so he scanned the horizon with his brass telescope before heading below decks to check on his high speed DVD copying machines. — Phillip Davies, Cardiff, Wales