Tigers and Covid-19

[Jimmy Higgins]

Guy looks at sign that reads "For Your Safety, Stay out of exhibit"

Guy looks around.

Starts climbing up on the wall to go into the exhibit.

Eyewitness: What are you doing?!
Guy: I'm going into the tiger exhibit.
Eyewitness: Are you crazy?! That is dangerous.
Guy: Look around you. Do you see anyone being attacked by a tiger right now?
Eyewitness: No, but there are no tig...
Guy: Exactly. They are exaggerating the threat.
Eyewitness: The sign clearly says...
Guy: You can't live your life in fear.
Guy2: Hey, what are you doing?
Guy: I'm going into the tiger exhibit to get a better look.

*drops down into the tiger exhibit and walks up to tiger with his smart phone out*
*tiger attacks and kills Guy*

Eyewitness: Oh my god, this awful, the tiger killed him. Why did he do that?
Guy2: Well, we can't say for certain the tiger killed him. He might have had a preexisting condition.
Eyewitness: The tiger is rolling the guys head around.
Guy2: Look, you can have your opinion and I can have mine.

*starts to climb into the exhibit*

Eyewitness: That tiger just killed that guy.
Guy2: Are you a doctor?
Eyewitness: No, but I saw it with my own eyes.
Guy2: No offense, but I'm not taking the word of just some guy that says he saw something.
Guy3: What is going on?
Guy2: Going into the tiger exhibit.
Guy3: Isn't that dangerous?
Guy2: Depends if you ask this hover parent over here.

*Guy3 starts to climb in*
*Crowd gathers, and Guys4 to 21 go into exhibit, Guys2, 5, 8, 9 get mauled to death*

Eyewitness: I can't believe what I'm seeing!
Guy27: I know. I can't believe I hadn't thought of doing this before.
Eyewitness: What? That tiger has killed 5 people now, mauled several others.
Guy27: Look, if you want to avoid being harmed, maybe you should just have stayed at home in your basement. I want to live my life.
Eyewitness: You can see the tiger perfectly fine from right here.
Guy27: I don't need the nanny state to tell me where I can and can't safely view a tiger from.

*Guy27 enters the exhibit, gets mauled to death shortly thereafter*

Guy34: Why are you crying?
Eyewitness: I've just seen the fourteenth person get killed and many more get seriously injured for absolutely no reason.
Guy34: Clearly there is nothing stopping that tiger from getting out of the exhibit and attacking you.
Eyewitness: Yes there is. This wall and that gap between us and the tiger has kept it from escaping as long as this exhibit has been opened.
Guy34: Well, that is what the Zoo says. Do you honestly expect the Zoo to tell the people that come here that the tiger escapes and has killed people?
Eyewitness: *incredulous jaw drop*
Guy35: Yeah, you can believe what you want to believe, but if that tiger is so dangerous in the exhibit, it just as dangerous outside the exhibit.
Guy34: And you are just using wishful thinking that the Zoo has been honest about the effectiveness of the barrier. They can just as easily lie as they can tell the truth.

*Guys34 and 35 climb into exhibit and get attacked*

Guy36: And really, it is all about control. The people that run the zoo are power hungry and create these rules to control what we can and can't do.
Eyewitness: It is a wild animal that hunts living animals for food. It has claws, is fast, and very powerful. And it has just killed a dozen people in the past 30 minutes.
Guy37: Yeah, I don't believe that.

*Guy36 climbs in, gets mauled*

Eyewitness: What?! There are 12 dead bodies laying on the ground, and many more are cowering and mauled.
Guy37; People get hurt all the time. Do you know how many accidental deaths there are in America every day?
Eyewitness: They didn't get hurt in an accident, they were attacked by that tiger.
Guy38: If that was true would I really risk my safety going in there?

*Guys37 and 38 climb into exhibit, get attacked*

Later at home:
News: Tragedy struck at the local zoo where 19 people were mauled to death by a tiger after dozens of people inexplicably entered the tiger exhibit.
Guys20through49: There was no way we could have known.

 

[Worldtraveller]

Sharing on FB. good one!

 

[Elixir]

Later at home:
News: Tragedy struck at the local zoo where 19 people were mauled to death by a tiger after dozens of people inexplicably entered the tiger exhibit.
Guys20through49: There was no way we could have known.

I think I get your point. We need more tigers, right?

 

[Worldtraveller]

Later at home:
News: Tragedy struck at the local zoo where 19 people were mauled to death by a tiger after dozens of people inexplicably entered the tiger exhibit.
Guys20through49: There was no way we could have known.

I think I get your point. We need more tigers, right?

Nailed it!

The only thing missing in the metaphor is that somehow climbing into the tiger exhibit would also get innocent people mauled.

If ONLY the mask/vaccine deniers got sick and/or died from COVID, I'd totally be willing to let nature do its thing.

 

[James Brown]

Eh, it's just a bad animal bite.

We can't let the prevention be worse than the mild danger.

The vast, VAST majority of people survive tiger attacks unscathed.

Besides, what do you think's gonna happen when we all visit the lion exhibit?

 

[Jimmy Higgins]

Later at home:
News: Tragedy struck at the local zoo where 19 people were mauled to death by a tiger after dozens of people inexplicably entered the tiger exhibit.
Guys20through49: There was no way we could have known.

I think I get your point. We need more tigers, right?

Nailed it!

The only thing missing in the metaphor is that somehow climbing into the tiger exhibit would also get innocent people mauled.

If ONLY the mask/vaccine deniers got sick and/or died from COVID, I'd totally be willing to let nature do its thing.

Yeah, I thought of that after I finished it. The trouble would be it starts to shift away a bit from the Guys and the primary focus is on them, or more accurately, their arguments. Perhaps a better metaphor is opening the gate to the tiger exhibit at the zoo. But why would the Guys do that?

 

[Loren Pechtel]

Later at home:
News: Tragedy struck at the local zoo where 19 people were mauled to death by a tiger after dozens of people inexplicably entered the tiger exhibit.
Guys20through49: There was no way we could have known.

I think I get your point. We need more tigers, right?

Darwin says yes.

 

[Elixir]

If ONLY the mask/vaccine deniers got sick and/or died from COVID, I'd totally be willing to let nature do its thing.

Patience grasshopper! (Dang I've been saying and telling myself that a lot lately.)
The day is coming.

 

[bigfield]

Eventually, the tiger's teeth and claws are going to become blunt from use. The sooner that happens, the better, but we're never going to get there if we don't let people climb into the tiger's cage.