Jimmy Higgins
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WASHINGTON DC - Citing the "enormous success" of Kraft Foods in the field of making products people want and distributing them, the President has used the Defense Production Act to enlist Kraft in the filling the void of needed ventilators for hospitals across America.
"Jared has told be great things [about Kraft]," noted the President during his daily press briefing for the Coronavirus outbreak. "I think Kraft needs to make fewer Pebbles of Fruit and more ventilators."
Questions were raised over how Kraft could possibly change production from breakfast cereal to ventilators and how long such a transition would last before Kraft could actually start producing ventilators. "I believe in the spirit of America," noted President Trump. "I'm not doubting what Kraft can accomplish like you naysayers."
When asked how many would be produced, the President noted "A lot! You won't believe how many they'll make!" to a press room full of rolling eyes.
The President indicated the first ventilators will be coming out "before you know it, maybe next week."
"Jared has told be great things [about Kraft]," noted the President during his daily press briefing for the Coronavirus outbreak. "I think Kraft needs to make fewer Pebbles of Fruit and more ventilators."
Questions were raised over how Kraft could possibly change production from breakfast cereal to ventilators and how long such a transition would last before Kraft could actually start producing ventilators. "I believe in the spirit of America," noted President Trump. "I'm not doubting what Kraft can accomplish like you naysayers."
When asked how many would be produced, the President noted "A lot! You won't believe how many they'll make!" to a press room full of rolling eyes.
The President indicated the first ventilators will be coming out "before you know it, maybe next week."
