Underseer
Contributor
Years ago as a young man, I was in a supermarket in the frozen goods section when I chanced upon a product that I knew from looking would be nothing but strawberries and sugar (basically that stuff Americans use in strawberry pies and certain other desserts). The product packaging proudly proclaimed "No chloresterol!"
I burst out laughing.
I knew that somewhere out there, was some idiot buying that very package while thinking "Hey! This one ain't got no cholesterol! That means it's healthy!" which is stupid for a variety of reasons, including but not limited to
It's not healthy, but companies can get away with implying that something is healthier if they don't specifically state any specific health benefits from using their product. Even since then, I've been on the lookout for similarly misleading blurbs on packages at the supermarket. Of course nowadays, we have organic versions of seemingly every conceivable product.
Organic products are essentially a stupidity tax.
First, "organic" doesn't mean "no pesticides," it means "no synthetic pesticides." "Natural" pesticides can be used and still claim the organic label. Here's the thing: a molecule is a molecule is a molecule. It doesn't matter how you get the molecule when it comes to your health. Whether the molecule was extracted from something "natural" or synthesized in a vat is irrelevant to the positive or negative health effects of the molecule in question. The only thing that matters is the type of molecule.
Further, even if you could verify that a product was completely free of pesticides (natural or artificial), there's zero science supporting the claim that one product that was made without legal pesticides has any health benefits over a similar product made with legal pesticides (assuming the legal amounts were used). In order to be approved for use on food products, pesticides have to go through a battery of scientific tests. If any demonstrable negative health effects are found, that pesticide is not used (or the dosage adjusted until it's not dangerous to humans anymore).
So even if we ignored the natural/artificial stupidity, it's still stupid. You can't prove any health benefits from organic produce with a scientific study. That's why organic food proponents always use anecdotal evidence. So "organic" produce is just a stupidity tax for people who don't understand science. But every once in a while, you run across an "organic" product that reminds you just how stupid organic produce proponents are:
For the benefit of those who don't know, nori (there actually is an English word for this stuff: laver, but Americans use the Japanese word because of Japanese-Americans [you're welcome]) is grown on nets in the ocean, then mowed off at harvest time.
Let me repeat that: it's grown on nets in the ocean.
What in the actual fuck would be the point of squirting pesticide on something you grow on a net in the ocean? The ocean would just wash it right off immediately.
So even if we ignore that the definition of organic isn't what most people think it is (they use pretty much the same pesticides that are just made in different ways), and even if you ignored the fact that there can be no demonstrable health benefits to eliminating pesticides, pesticides can't possibly be of use in an agricultural product that is grown underwater.
Mind you, this is certified organic and sports the "USDA Organic" label, which means someone in the government who actually knows better approved of putting that stupid label on this fart-waffle of a product. Why? Because the corporations who own factory farms have enough money to buy politicians to force regulatory agencies to do what makes them money instead of what makes sense for the consumer.
This is still less dumb than the Alkali diet fad or the "Let's give autistic children bleach enemas to cure their autism" thing, but it's still pretty fucking stupid.
Anyway, I run into eye-gougingly stupid shit like this at the grocery store with terrifying regularity. Go ahead and share the dumbest thing you saw recently.
I burst out laughing.
I knew that somewhere out there, was some idiot buying that very package while thinking "Hey! This one ain't got no cholesterol! That means it's healthy!" which is stupid for a variety of reasons, including but not limited to
- Anything that is just fruit and sugar better not have cholesterol
- All that sugar will be converted into fat inside your body. If you're not getting enough exercise, the sugar will probably contribute to higher cholesterol levels in your blood at some point in the future
It's not healthy, but companies can get away with implying that something is healthier if they don't specifically state any specific health benefits from using their product. Even since then, I've been on the lookout for similarly misleading blurbs on packages at the supermarket. Of course nowadays, we have organic versions of seemingly every conceivable product.
Organic products are essentially a stupidity tax.
First, "organic" doesn't mean "no pesticides," it means "no synthetic pesticides." "Natural" pesticides can be used and still claim the organic label. Here's the thing: a molecule is a molecule is a molecule. It doesn't matter how you get the molecule when it comes to your health. Whether the molecule was extracted from something "natural" or synthesized in a vat is irrelevant to the positive or negative health effects of the molecule in question. The only thing that matters is the type of molecule.
Further, even if you could verify that a product was completely free of pesticides (natural or artificial), there's zero science supporting the claim that one product that was made without legal pesticides has any health benefits over a similar product made with legal pesticides (assuming the legal amounts were used). In order to be approved for use on food products, pesticides have to go through a battery of scientific tests. If any demonstrable negative health effects are found, that pesticide is not used (or the dosage adjusted until it's not dangerous to humans anymore).
So even if we ignored the natural/artificial stupidity, it's still stupid. You can't prove any health benefits from organic produce with a scientific study. That's why organic food proponents always use anecdotal evidence. So "organic" produce is just a stupidity tax for people who don't understand science. But every once in a while, you run across an "organic" product that reminds you just how stupid organic produce proponents are:
For the benefit of those who don't know, nori (there actually is an English word for this stuff: laver, but Americans use the Japanese word because of Japanese-Americans [you're welcome]) is grown on nets in the ocean, then mowed off at harvest time.
Let me repeat that: it's grown on nets in the ocean.
What in the actual fuck would be the point of squirting pesticide on something you grow on a net in the ocean? The ocean would just wash it right off immediately.
So even if we ignore that the definition of organic isn't what most people think it is (they use pretty much the same pesticides that are just made in different ways), and even if you ignored the fact that there can be no demonstrable health benefits to eliminating pesticides, pesticides can't possibly be of use in an agricultural product that is grown underwater.
Mind you, this is certified organic and sports the "USDA Organic" label, which means someone in the government who actually knows better approved of putting that stupid label on this fart-waffle of a product. Why? Because the corporations who own factory farms have enough money to buy politicians to force regulatory agencies to do what makes them money instead of what makes sense for the consumer.
This is still less dumb than the Alkali diet fad or the "Let's give autistic children bleach enemas to cure their autism" thing, but it's still pretty fucking stupid.
Anyway, I run into eye-gougingly stupid shit like this at the grocery store with terrifying regularity. Go ahead and share the dumbest thing you saw recently.
