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Vermont's Low Covid-19 Death Toll Uncannily Parallels Record Skiing Related Deaths

Jimmy Higgins

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CONCORD, VT -- The state of Vermont has had one of the lowest COVID-19 related death tolls in the nation. The last reported death caused by COVID-19 was nearly a month ago on June 18th. Vermont has prided itself with its response and impecible results. The state of famed historical icon Ethan Hawke and the Jolly Green Men, instituted early shutdowns and refused to let political pressure manipulate their pandemic procedures.

However, at the same time, Vermont has been saddled with a record high number of skiiing related deaths over the same period. "It is peculiar," noted Deborah BIrx one of the leaders on the White House Pandemic Response team. "Vermont's skiing related death numbers are through the roof, even well into June and July when the mountains aren't open."

Vermont is home to the Wight Mountains, most famous for the Killington sky resort which services over 100,000 skiers a year. Safety reports indicate that skiing related incidents were not common up through the end of February and generally low until mid May when the numbers shoot up to as high as 50 people a day. According to pubic records available on the Internet, the state of Vermont has see over 4,000 people die in skiing accidents since April 4th, 2020.

Steve Blasie, a coroner, in Burlington, the state Capital, agreed as to the unusual timing. "We rarely ever see people dying on the mountains in Vermont. There are the occasional tragic accidents, but these numbers are unprecedented. Especially for this time of year."

When asked about if he had any questions about the cause of death, he noted, "Well, I usually can't see the body because it is in a sealed box, but the people dropping it off also drop off mangled skis which pretty much confirms in my book that the death was skiing related.

The Governor Scott indicated that skiing safety was going to become his top priority for the following year. "These skiing related accidents are a reminder we must be vigilant for safety at all times."


NOTE: This article was riddled with so many errors, we aren't even bothering to fax it. SOrry.
 
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