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What does a minimum wage hike have to do with COVID relief?

Unemployment is not necessarily due to a failure of the unemployed. Treating it like it is does nothing to help the problem.

Long term unemployment in a decent economy is a failure of the unemployed.

You are incorrect, as that is not necessarily true. There are many reasons a person may be unemployed for the long term, and not all of them are the fault of the unemployed. I know you like to treat this kind of issue as black and white, but there are shades of grey involved, and making the statements that indicate you believe the unemployed are failures and it should hurt them only serves to highlight your own failures.
Don't you love how LP makes a dumbass assertion, then you, for the sake of argument, accept his assertion and point out the consequences of it. He suddenly says that it's not necessarily true?

Let me point out something: it doesn't fucking matter why someone is unemployed. We, as a society, still have a responsibility to not let them simply die off or become homeless.
 
Arby’s Says It Helped Kill the $15 Minimum Wage

Inspire Brands — which owns Jimmy John's, Arby’s, Sonic, Buffalo Wild Wings, and Dunkin’ — bragged in internal documents about its role preventing workers from getting a living wage. $15 an hour and a union is the least we should be demanding from predatory corporations.

The parent company of some of America’s largest fast-food chains is claiming credit for convincing Congress to exclude a $15 minimum wage from the recent COVID relief bill, according to internal company documents reviewed by The Daily Poster. The company, which is owned by a private equity firm named after an Ayn Rand character, also says it is now working to thwart new union rights legislation.

The company’s boasts come just a few months after a government report found that some of its chains had among the highest percentage of workers relying on food stamps.

Inspire Brands — which owns Jimmy John’s, Arby’s, Sonic, and Buffalo Wild Wings, plus recently acquired Dunkin’ Donuts for $11.3 billion in November — on Thursday sent employees and franchisees a review of its government lobbying activity that highlighted its success in keeping the $15 minimum wage out of Democrats’ American Rescue Plan, the COVID-19 relief bill President Joe Biden signed earlier this month.

“We were successful in our advocacy efforts to remove the Raise the Wage Act, which would have increased the federal minimum wage to $15 and eliminated the tip credit,” reads the report.
 
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