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White House - Forks and Sockets... Americans should decide

Jimmy Higgins

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WASHINGTON DC - The White House Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany told reporters that the President was tired of indoctrination by safety "experts" regarding the danger of metallic utensils and electric sockets.

"America has a right to decide for itself, whether it is safe," she noted, as part of an announcement that was seeing $1.5 million slashed from the budget for what McEnany called "electrical safety propaganda".

"The science is still out," she noted as whether electricity and metallic objects create a threat that people should worry about. "America has been petrified by our schools scaring them that sticking metallic utensils into an electrical socket is unsafe. Americans have wasted $75 billion in unnecessary spending on electrical socket safety devices since the first children were unnecessarily scared into submission by people that consider themselves safety experts."

The Press Secretary did an exhibition of sticking a metal fork in a electric outlet at the podium. "See, this hysteria needs to end."

When it was noted that the outlet wasn't hooked up to the electrical system she immediately called for an end to the press conference.
 
Safety regulations have an annoying habit of keeping people in the gene pool despite their best efforts to remove themselves.

In Australia, electrical outlets almost always come with a little switch next to them, like a light switch, which turns the outlet on or off. This makes outlets less dangerous by allowing adults to turn them off, or turn off the device that's plugged into the outlet without disconnecting the device's plug. In some households, like the one I grew up in, parents will also insert "dummy plugs" into the sockets when not in use to prevent children from inserting objects into the outlet. And if those measures weren't enough, some children, like me, had the benefit of being raised by an electrician who explained very well the dangers of electricity over and above the typical safety instructions that children would typically receive. Despite this, I felt it was a good idea to insert a stainless-steel knife into a toaster, while it was running, to touch the red hot elements. It probably would have been best for the species if the toaster had stopped my heart, or thrown me across the room, but instead the power simply went out. This is because my father, never underestimating his boys, had previously installed a residual current device in the meter box, a device that has since become, unfortunately, mandatory.
 
In Australia, electrical outlets almost always come with a little switch next to them, like a light switch, which turns the outlet on or off. This makes outlets less dangerous by allowing adults to turn them off, or turn off the device that's plugged into the outlet without disconnecting the device's plug.

We actually solved this a long time ago by making forks that don't fit in the little holes.
Still working on the knives.
 
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