How to Persuade an Atheist to Become Christian

[Potoooooooo]

http://m.wikihow.com/Persuade-an-Atheist-to-Become-Christian
Comes complete with illustrations to make sure you are doing it right

 

[krypton iodine sulfur]

What do they have against first aid manuals? Or is it just a problem with women teaching first aid?

 

[KeepTalking]

http://m.wikihow.com/Persuade-an-Atheist-to-Become-Christian
Comes complete with illustrations to make sure you are doing it right

I was disappointed, I was hoping their advice would be more along the lines of "ply them with offers of free sex and booze".

 

[abaddon]

The assumption in the article is that this desire to convert can come from genuine care rather than from one’s own needs. Christianity put the idea into evangelical’s heads that it would be shirking one’s duty to not convert others, and there’s an ugliness in that. They cannot be nonjudgmental and 'loving' to an unbeliever, because in their own 'saved' eyes the unbeliever is inherently fucked up from the get-go. So to get past anyone’s natural distaste for being negatively judged, the evangelist must get sneaky and hide the hate. Which is what this article is about: how to be sneaky enough to hide your harsh judgment of the doomed-to-hell unbeliever under pretense of being loving and genuine.

“Your existence makes me feel uncomfortable” is about the most genuine thing a ‘converter’ could say to the potential ‘convertee’.

 

[Keith&Co.]

First and foremost, recognize again that there is a good chance you will fail to convert the atheist in question. If you do fail, don't be disheartened! You may either keep trying,

Just hope the atheist in question hasn't read the book of Titus. Verse 3:10 says NOT to keep trying...
There's a good chance the Theist in question hasn't read it.

 

[skepticalbip]

Strangely they miss the surest way to convert an atheist which should also be the easiest if what they are selling is true.

They could simply take the atheist to a major hospital to visit the wards with amputees, cancer patients, etc. then pray for god to heal them. I can't imagine that an atheist wouldn't convert after seeing "the power of god" to replace lost limbs, eliminate cancers, etc.

 

[dystopian]

Chad: "Hey dude, you wanna get high? Well don't! You know that's a sin right?! I've got a legit way to get high! The clean and fun way in the Fellowship of the..."
Jim: "Jesus fucking christ you've got some crazy cult eyes motherfucker, get away from me!"

 

[James Chapman]

Strangely they miss the surest way to convert an atheist which should also be the easiest if what they are selling is true.

They could simply take the atheist to a major hospital to visit the wards with amputees, cancer patients, etc. then pray for god to heal them. I can't imagine that an atheist wouldn't convert after seeing "the power of god" to replace lost limbs, eliminate cancers, etc.

Seriously, there is only one conversion method that has been proved to highly effective. You just give the atheist the choice of converting or being burned as a heretic. Historically, Christians in Medieval Europe used this method with outstanding success. It's really win-win. Even in the unlikely event the heretic chooses to be a martyr, you still end up with one less heretic in the world.

 

[Tars Tarkus]

- - - Updated - - -

What do they have against first aid manuals? Or is it just a problem with women teaching first aid?

The positioning of the bookmark so far from the spine of the book is curious, too.

 

[Jimmy Higgins]

Holy cow. Have we stumbled onto the new "If you are on fire, don't run" treasure trove?

In other news, like the how to confuse an atheist one. I'm confused how any of that is supposed to be confusing. The good news is, you can add tips.



Umm... Joey, let up on the cross there.

 

[krypton iodine sulfur]

- - - Updated - - -

What do they have against first aid manuals? Or is it just a problem with women teaching first aid?

The positioning of the bookmark so far from the spine of the book is curious, too.

I think they tried to make it look like a snake tongue to further scare us off.

Chad: "Hey dude, you wanna get high? Well don't! You know that's a sin right?! I've got a legit way to get high! The clean and fun way in the Fellowship of the..."
Jim: "Jesus fucking christ you've got some crazy cult eyes motherfucker, get away from me!"

I think some of these warrant a caption contest.
"At first I was nervous when he started cupping my balls, but then I kind of started to like it. The best part is, he's a doctor so it's totally not gay."
"You know he wasn't a real doctor right? He was just a male stripper dressed as a doctor. He didn't even ask you to take your pants off. I think you have some issues to work through."

 

[skepticalbip]

How to Persuade an Atheist to Become Christian

They could promise cold beer, sex, drugs, and rock-and-roll after the service and at least get some of us into the church (likely more Christians too)... inspiring atheist to convert would be a much more difficult task for them though.

 

[Draconis]

"Put yourself in your friend's shoes" - I doubt they could ever do that, being as what they are trying to do is persuade you to convert to their belief system.

"Don't try to convert your friend" - See the article's title.

"Tell your friend what your Christianity means to you" - to me Christianity means oppression, control freakery, abuse of power and mass delusion. That's not going to change.

"Don't try to debate the specifics of the Bible [...] Avoid these subjects" - well if we're avoiding the Bible, where does this God/Jesus idea come from then?

"An atheist may want to hear definitive evidence [...] All you can do is represent Jesus Christ as the one you follow" - erm, what's the point of following something/someone who's not proven to exist? Would the Christian follow Superman? Does he dress up to impress his imaginary hot girlfriend/boyfriend?

"If your friend constantly wants to discuss Biblical fallacies [...] don't engage in debate" - ignore the yawning loopholes?

"Invite your friend to come with you to church" - had enough of being dragged there by my parents when I was a child, it was boring and emotionally empty.

"Be persistent" - either stop it or stop being my friend.

"If you want to pray for your friend, do it in private" -you're free to waste your time, just leave me out of it.

"Atheism is not a belief; it is a doubt" - ha ha ha [...] ha ha ha. I gave up doubting my atheism a long time ago.

"Instead of trying to convert them from one belief to another, think of it as trying to provide evidence for a belief" - I don't need evidence that beliefs exist (and beliefs don't need Gods to make them valid). For instance, I know there is a belief that string theory might be true, I once read a book by Michio Kaku about it. That is a different thing than it being true.

"Present your evidence, listen openly to their responses, and accept their choice. The rest is up to God" - so what happened to free will then?

 

[Draconis]

How to confuse an atheist:

1. Ok.
2. Ok.
3. Logic. And the same question can be reversed. Don't confuse logic with faith, which is a glorified guess.
4. "Science presupposes that it is the way of knowing" - no it's not, Science is a way of finding things out. Tell me when it finds God.
5. Why exactly is judging goodness or badness from the results invalid? And if we're talking about morality, let's talk about Divine Command Theory. If Goodness and Badness are external things to us, why aren't they external to God too?
6. Self defeating argument. "how could a thing/event have no cause" God's not a thing then?

Nope, not confused at all.

 

[Smoker]

Strangely they miss the surest way to convert an atheist which should also be the easiest if what they are selling is true.

They could simply take the atheist to a major hospital to visit the wards with amputees, cancer patients, etc. then pray for god to heal them. I can't imagine that an atheist wouldn't convert after seeing "the power of god" to replace lost limbs, eliminate cancers, etc.

My father was a seminary student aspiring to be a preacher before he was drafted to fight in Vietnam. When he came back from the war he was an atheist. I never really got a real answer out of him why he changed his mind because he didn't like talking about the war. Thirty years later, my sister has a bad car wreck which almost kills her, and he becomes a Christian again because apparently he thought that she was saved by a miracle or prayer or something. He was trying to teach me Greek in his last days so that I could better understand the New Testament.

I don't know if he eventually started to become afraid of hell in his later years, or if he really did believe that my sister was saved by some kind of miracle from god. In my opinion, I think he subconsciously wanted to believe in god again, and that's why he thought my sister was saved by prayer.

 

[Malintent]

My father was a seminary student aspiring to be a preacher before he was drafted to fight in Vietnam.

I didn't know they had to study semen before becoming a preacher. Makes sense tho

 

[Potoooooooo]

My father was a seminary student aspiring to be a preacher before he was drafted to fight in Vietnam.

I didn't know they had to study semen before becoming a preacher. Makes sense tho

Why do you think they call the bible a seminal book

 

[Keith&Co.]

I think some of these warrant a caption contest.

Tell the atheist how your faith helped get you through your breast cancer diagnosis. Be prepared for him to already know that men can get breast cancer (they watch a lot of shows about gender blending), and not to consider it proof that women came from man's ribs.

 

[Jimmy Higgins]

Clearly they don't know anything about atheists. Nothing about massive orgies, kitten bbq's.

 

[Draconis]

Clearly they don't know anything about atheists. Nothing about massive orgies, kitten bbq's.

I prefer puppies battered then deep fried.

Small orgies are good. I don't have that much space, but I could rent a church hall for a laugh.