Ben Schoen and Grace Spelman - #NotAllMen

[RavenSky]

Let's get that out of the way first... #NotAllMen

Here are the facts:

Grace Spelman "liked" Harry Potter podcaster Ben Schoen when she was 14 years old, then never had any further interaction with him until earlier this month when he tweeted her.

@GraceSpelman you are awesome and hilarious - was surprised to see we were already fb friends. You listen to mugglecast back in the day?

She "favorited" the tweet but did not reply. He followed that up with a few more tweets, including

On my birthday I want @GraceSpelman to follow me back

and in answer to a general tweet "what is the remedy for being really cranky"

@GraceSpelman talking to me

She did not reply to nor "favorite" any of these, so on August 15 he wrote on her Facebook page:



After her reply on Facebook, she blocked him on all of her social media accounts so he did this:



and then sent her this email on August 16:



On August 17 she posted all of it on Twitter and all hell broke loose.

What is amazing to me is how very differently various people see his behavior and her reaction.

 

[J842P]

Who are these people?

 

[laughing dog]

Has Mr. Schoen finished junior high yet?

 

[arkirk]

Has Mr. Schoen finished junior high yet?

Possibly neither of them (Ben or Grace) have graduate from junior high yet. The behavior on both sides seems childish.

 

[credoconsolans]

Look like this guy Ben doesn't get a hint.

She's not responding to you guy. Take the hint.

He didn't/wouldn't/couldn't.

She finally has to say "I have a boyfriend."

And then he gets all indignant and then hostile when she makes it plain she wants nothing to do with him.

In the real world, this guy would be spray painting her front door and stalking her.

Guy who first all but worships the girl suddenly become belligerent when rejected.

"You're a bitch for rejecting me."

Sick. Is it any wonder women just tend to ignore these types of men.

 

[thebeave]

They should have settled their differences with a hopscotch contest, not by dragging each other through the mud on the Internet. Kids these days....

 

[ronburgundy]

How is this a political issue?

And why would the idiotic meme of #notallmen need to be gotten "out of the way"?

Seems like writing a bio of John Wayne Gacy with the subtitle: #notallmen.

OF course it isn't all men. In fact, it is zero men. It is only 1 specific individual who isn't a man but a teenager, whose age likely have far more to do with why he personally is a childish vindictive and insecure jerk, as some people, both men, women boys, and girls, sometimes are in various ways.

 

[Terrell]

How is this a political issue?

And why would the idiotic meme of #notallmen need to be gotten "out of the way"?

Seems like writing a bio of John Wayne Gacy with the subtitle: #notallmen.

OF course it isn't all men. In fact, it is zero men. It is only 1 specific individual who isn't a man but a teenager, whose age likely have far more to do with why he personally is a childish vindictive and insecure jerk, as some people, both men, women boys, and girls, sometimes are in various ways.

This^^^

Not all Men
Not all Women
Not all Black people
Not all White people
Not all Asians
Not all Latinos
Not all Muslims

How about we not attempt to tar the entirety of a demographic, by the bad behavior of some within said group. It's a form of bigotry, regardless of the demographic it's directed against.

 

[Archimedes]

Why is this noteworthy enough to be posted in the political discussion forums?

Am I missing something? It just seems to be some sort of childish online spat between some girl and some creep, neither of which I've ever heard of.

 

[RavenSky]

Anyone familiar with the latest greatest internet shit storm, is aware of the MRA take on it but some of it is pure comedy gold... some of it is downright frightening.

Ben’s mistake was one he was born with, one that all of us terrible male shitlords who breathe oppression suffer from on a daily basis – he is male.

This is the original sin of not just 3rd wave feminism, but of much of today’s social justice tripe that focuses on only your biology, while entirely ignoring your character.

(I love how "ARMENIA4EVER" tries to make it sound like Grace had some sort of relationship with this guy. She didn't. Had never even spoken to him before this.)

Our story begins with a message to a Buzzfeed writer, Grace Spelman who decided to air all of their personal dirty laundry which started this twitter lynch mob – something that should surprise none of you.

http://banterloud.com/2015/08/21/th...-feminist-ben-schoen-the-fate-of-male-allies/

As I said in the OP, what is amazing to me is how very differently various people see his behavior and her reaction. We've had at least one thread in recent months discussing how women are *supposed* to turn a man down, and how creepy it just when he won't take "no" for an answer. This is an example of exactly that scenario, and now we have Ben Schoen tweeting misogynistic shit at any woman who publicly states she finds his behavior unacceptable while MRA's like the one quoted and Charles C. Johnson post their typical vileness. And yes, even one or two women who said "men" instead of "this man"... hence the #NotAllMen disclaimer.

 

[thebeave]

First of all, let's get this out of the way: #NotallLesbians

What is about Harry Potter fandom that brings out the pyschos?

http://www.news.com.au/technology/online/you-are-like-a-celebrity-to-me-when-women-cyberstalk-women/story-fnjwnhzf-1227499088769?utm_content=SocialFlow&utm_campaign=EditorialSF&utm_source=News.com.au&utm_medium=Facebook

WHEN Melissa Anelli emailed a woman who was causing troubled on her Harry Potter fansite, she couldn’t imagine the hell she was about to set loose.

“I will hunt you down like the dirty, fat cow you are and slit you from ear-to-ear,” came the furious reply. It was the start of a five-year campaign of harassment by New Zealand woman Jessica Parker, who sent Melissa a barrage of death threats, fawning apologies and admissions of love and sexual attraction.

“As long as you refuse to deal with me, I’ll remain being that little demon on your shoulder,” Parker wrote in one message. “I can’t be denied forever, you will give yourself to me in bed one day. Else I will return to your home and flay you alive. Your soulmate.”

 

[dismal]

I'm surprised to learn that someone acted like a pathetic douchebag on the internet.

That sort of thing just does not happen.

 

[Jimmy Higgins]

Who are these people?

I will echo the "who?"

Is this anecdotal experience being used to prove a point that some guys don't handle rejection well?

The response reads like a racist being called out as a racist. A lot of justification after the fact being used.

Regardless, who are these people?!

 

[Crazy Eddie]

Oh look, a social media thread! Haven't seen one of these in a while.

Let's get that out of the way first... #NotAllMen

Here are the facts:

Grace Spelman...

Could you maybe summarize just why anyone in the human race should find this even REMOTELY interesting?

Anyone familiar with the latest greatest internet shit storm

It's more of a twitter/facebook shitstorm, which I understand is only slightly less meaningless than a tumblr shitstorm (but pales in comparison to the existential vortex of irrelevance that is the "snapchat argument.")

Can we as a society maybe agree to reclassify "social media" as an MMORPG so people will stop pretending that it matters?

 

[Jimmy Higgins]

Oh look, a social media thread! Haven't seen one of these in a while.

Let's get that out of the way first... #NotAllMen

Here are the facts:

Grace Spelman...

Could you maybe summarize just why anyone in the human race should find this even REMOTELY interesting?

I think this is being presented as a evidence that men do this sort of thing. Of course, the not all men reaction came back on the feedback to the female reaction to the guy who murdered a lot of people because women didn't want to sleep with him. Women started noting the male attitude, and then men shot back... not all men.

So now we have an anecdotal example of a guy who was flirting with a girl (ages of either unknown) and the girl indicates to the guy she is not interested. She probably should have done so privately, but otherwise, the guy was clearly hitting on her and he needed a less broad hint of her disinterest. Then he has a sissy cow after she closes the door.

Yes, some guys act like this.

 

[Crazy Eddie]

Oh look, a social media thread! Haven't seen one of these in a while.


Could you maybe summarize just why anyone in the human race should find this even REMOTELY interesting?

I think this is being presented as a evidence that men do this sort of thing.

Was that ever really in dispute?

Well, if it happened, might as well report on it.

 

[TSwizzle]

What is amazing to me is how very differently various people see his behavior and her reaction.

What is amazing to me is why anyone would think this is remotely interesting and want to share.

 

[Playball40]

Oh look, a social media thread! Haven't seen one of these in a while.


Could you maybe summarize just why anyone in the human race should find this even REMOTELY interesting?

I think this is being presented as a evidence that men do this sort of thing. Of course, the not all men reaction came back on the feedback to the female reaction to the guy who murdered a lot of people because women didn't want to sleep with him. Women started noting the male attitude, and then men shot back... not all men.

So now we have an anecdotal example of a guy who was flirting with a girl (ages of either unknown) and the girl indicates to the guy she is not interested. She probably should have done so privately, but otherwise, the guy was clearly hitting on her and he needed a less broad hint of her disinterest. Then he has a sissy cow after she closes the door.

Yes, some guys act like this.

I'm curious, but WHY should she have indicated no interest privately when he posted HIS interest publically on her FB page??

- - - Updated - - -

Oh look, a social media thread! Haven't seen one of these in a while.


Could you maybe summarize just why anyone in the human race should find this even REMOTELY interesting?

I think this is being presented as a evidence that men do this sort of thing. Of course, the not all men reaction came back on the feedback to the female reaction to the guy who murdered a lot of people because women didn't want to sleep with him. Women started noting the male attitude, and then men shot back... not all men.

So now we have an anecdotal example of a guy who was flirting with a girl (ages of either unknown) and the girl indicates to the guy she is not interested. She probably should have done so privately, but otherwise, the guy was clearly hitting on her and he needed a less broad hint of her disinterest. Then he has a sissy cow after she closes the door.

Yes, some guys act like this.

I'm also curious as to whether or not you think the woman had any cause to be alarmed or fearful. You said she had a "sissy cow" which really sounds like SHE overreacted to HIM. When in fact, it was he who overreacted to the situation.

 

[Jimmy Higgins]

I think this is being presented as a evidence that men do this sort of thing. Of course, the not all men reaction came back on the feedback to the female reaction to the guy who murdered a lot of people because women didn't want to sleep with him. Women started noting the male attitude, and then men shot back... not all men.

So now we have an anecdotal example of a guy who was flirting with a girl (ages of either unknown) and the girl indicates to the guy she is not interested. She probably should have done so privately, but otherwise, the guy was clearly hitting on her and he needed a less broad hint of her disinterest. Then he has a sissy cow after she closes the door.

Yes, some guys act like this.

I'm curious, but WHY should she have indicated no interest privately when he posted HIS interest publically on her FB page??

Guys are fragile. We act tough, but we are really just pusses. So it'd been a common courtesy to let him down lightly.

- - - Updated - - -

Oh look, a social media thread! Haven't seen one of these in a while.


Could you maybe summarize just why anyone in the human race should find this even REMOTELY interesting?

I think this is being presented as a evidence that men do this sort of thing. Of course, the not all men reaction came back on the feedback to the female reaction to the guy who murdered a lot of people because women didn't want to sleep with him. Women started noting the male attitude, and then men shot back... not all men.

So now we have an anecdotal example of a guy who was flirting with a girl (ages of either unknown) and the girl indicates to the guy she is not interested. She probably should have done so privately, but otherwise, the guy was clearly hitting on her and he needed a less broad hint of her disinterest. Then he has a sissy cow after she closes the door.

Yes, some guys act like this.

I'm also curious as to whether or not you think the woman had any cause to be alarmed or fearful. You said she had a "sissy cow" which really sounds like SHE overreacted to HIM. When in fact, it was he who overreacted to the situation.

I said he had a sissy cow.