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Children and Santa, tooth fairy, etc

excreationist

excreationist

Married mouth-breather
Joined
Aug 28, 2000
Messages
2,640
Location
Australia
Basic Beliefs
Probably in a simulation
How do you handle Santa / tooth fairy / easter bunny and children?
Do you
1) Actively teach children about those things
2) Agree with children if they are talking about those things
3) Tell them they are made up if the child specifically asks
4) Actively tell children that those things are made up

To me it seems a bit immoral to lie about these things to children but I guess there is pressure from society to allow young children to believe these things.

So far on a Christian message board all three replies would tell the kids the truth.
 
excreationist said:
How do you handle Santa / tooth fairy / easter bunny and children?
Do you
1) Actively teach children about those things
2) Agree with children if they are talking about those things
3) Tell them they are made up if the child specifically asks
4) Actively tell children that those things are made up

To me it seems a bit immoral to lie about these things to children but I guess there is pressure from society to allow young children to believe these things.

So far on a Christian message board all three replies would tell the kids the truth.
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Well, that last bit is arguably a bit inconsistent. No wait, it's not, because those adults still believe in an equivalent by another name.

I don't know what the best way is. Heck maybe it would be better if such things were never instigated. We instigated them. Social pressure I guess, and enjoyment.

When it comes to handling the inevitable come down, I'd only opt for 'being sensitive' and tuned-in to your particular child. Plus carrying on with the previous rituals, but gradually de-emphasising the supernatural aspects.

When your kid goes to Secondary school is often a key decision point, in my experience. The last thing you want is them finding out from other kids and feeling daft.
 
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When my son was about three, he developed a fear of the monster in his closet. I remember my dad lecturing me about monsters not existing, but he was never in my bedroom with the lights off. The shadow from the street light made my closet look like something off The Exorcist soundstage. So, straight up honesty seemed, to me, to be less effective than telling my kid that teddy bears eat monsters. He slept pretty soundly after that.
Not sure where Look At Me found the plastic sword to stand watch with...

We actively taught our kids about the tooth fairy, Santa, Easter Bunny. Mostly as a quaint little story that they'll eventually grow out of. All of our kids eventually confronted us: These (insert benefit here) didn't really come from (fill in the blank) did they? And we came clean.

I honestly feel that their development benefitted from working out the reality from the observations they made, the clues adding up.

It did put a bit of a burden on us, the parents, because now my kids question everything we tell them.

Not that they distrust us, but I cannot just say "You can't put that in the dishwasher," I have to explain 'because the mechanism will rust' or 'it's too fragile' or 'it's water soluble.'
 
Not a parent, but if I were to handle it, I would let them figure out on their own that they're not real.
 
excreationist said:
How do you handle Santa / tooth fairy / easter bunny and children?
Do you
1) Actively teach children about those things
2) Agree with children if they are talking about those things
3) Tell them they are made up if the child specifically asks
4) Actively tell children that those things are made up

To me it seems a bit immoral to lie about these things to children but I guess there is pressure from society to allow young children to believe these things.

So far on a Christian message board all three replies would tell the kids the truth.
Click to expand...

They're fun stories for kids to help them believe in magic and wonder before they grow up and the weight of the world crushes their spirits.

Not everything needs to be so much of a thing. Sometimes you're allowed to just have fun with children for the sake of having fun (not in a creepy way, though).
 
GenesisNemesis said:
Not a parent, but if I were to handle it, I would let them figure out on their own that they're not real.
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That is exactly what my parents did. I still remember how proud I was, when at the age of 4, I asked my mother if Santa was real. She asked me what I thought and I told her that Santa was just for fun and it was the parents that gave the presents. She told me I was right, but not to tell my younger sister. I did the same thing with my son. He gave up Santa at a fairly young age too.

The weird thing is that my parents were very religious and when I told my mother at the age of 18, that Jesus was a myth, like Zeus, she ran from the room in tears. I never felt abused or that it was a big deal that my parents told me that Jesus saves. It just took me to early adulthood to realize that "God is Santa for adults", as one of our former IIDB posters used to say.

Kids like all kinds of pretend stuff. They make up all kinds of shit. I had two imaginary friends when I was around two. I still remember what they looked like, but I eventually didn't need them anymore so I stopped talking to them. They were two little old ladies who lived in my basement. Shakey was tall and thin, while Kookus was short and chubby. I invented them all by myself. :D

There isn't any harm in allowing kids to believe in Santa, the tooth fairy, the Easter Bunny or Shakey and Kookus. Unlike an angry god, these pretend entities are all for fun and we don't miss them when we stop believing they are real.
 
Only one I have issues with is a fake fat facial-haired fuck getting all the credit for my work and effort in choosing good gifts. I think the tooth fairy is the only one that I openly introduced. The Easter Bunny just kind of happened. Makes it more fun in the morning when it is time to get the eggs.
 
I don’t remember ever believing in Santa, but then I had two older brothers so I’m sure any nascent beliefs I may have had were quickly quashed.

Recently I asked my two grown children if they had ever believed in Santa. My daughter, who has always been a realist, said she never had, but my son, who is more of an artist and musician, told me “I still do!”

I do remember, when asked by my kids, I would say something like "It's the spirit of Christmas that's real," which I think they both realized was bullshit. I've always found it was hard to lie to my kids - they have excellent BS meters.
 
No kids yet, but I'd hesitate to lie to them even if it was for fun. I don't really see the sense in it, even if your kid is small Christmas or whatever is going to be just as magical no matter what you tell them. I probably wouldn't go out of my way to tell them these things aren't real either, but if they asked me I would.
 
We did not ever do any of those. We felt it was wrong to actively lie to your children, but more importantly, utterly unnecessary. We can do "magic" and "wonder" without lying, IMHO.

So our kids were raised on:

Santa: Santa is a made-up game that some families play to create a make-believe that their kids can enjoy. The purpose for the make believe is to celebrate togetherness and the joy of sharing and giving to each other. We also celebrated at about the same time the joy of family and giving and sharing, using the physics of Solstice to pick a time when things seem very dark and cold and our family celebration can lighten it. Also, don't spoil the game of the other families by spilling the beans. Even though I resent other families expecting me to uphold their lie for them. If you haven't prepared your kid for running into someone who has different beliefs, then that's your gap, not my responsibility. I prepared my kids for it, but they're not perfect actors for your theater, so you get what you get, and do NOT blame my kids if they aren't on your payroll. Note: My daughter did tell me that she would have rathered I hid the gifts so she could be surprised on Solstice morning, even though she knew we had chosen them for each other, she thinks it would have been fun to not know their size, shape or number.

Tooth Fairy: There's a clever swap at night exchanging old teeth for gold coins. Can you figure out how it happens? My daughter caught me on her very last tooth and exclaimed, "VICTORY!" She was very proud of herself, but had spent years trying to figure out what tool or device or magic I used to accomplish my task.

Easter Bunny: A fun celebration of the return of nature's growth and newborns and what better way to celebrate that than chocolate.
 
Rhea said:
We did not ever do any of those. We felt it was wrong to actively lie to your children, but more importantly, utterly unnecessary. We can do "magic" and "wonder" without lying, IMHO.

So our kids were raised on:

Santa: Santa is a made-up game that some families play to create a make-believe that their kids can enjoy. The purpose for the make believe is to celebrate togetherness and the joy of sharing and giving to each other. We also celebrated at about the same time the joy of family and giving and sharing, using the physics of Solstice to pick a time when things seem very dark and cold and our family celebration can lighten it. Also, don't spoil the game of the other families by spilling the beans. Even though I resent other families expecting me to uphold their lie for them. If you haven't prepared your kid for running into someone who has different beliefs, then that's your gap, not my responsibility. I prepared my kids for it, but they're not perfect actors for your theater, so you get what you get, and do NOT blame my kids if they aren't on your payroll. Note: My daughter did tell me that she would have rathered I hid the gifts so she could be surprised on Solstice morning, even though she knew we had chosen them for each other, she thinks it would have been fun to not know their size, shape or number.

Tooth Fairy: There's a clever swap at night exchanging old teeth for gold coins. Can you figure out how it happens? My daughter caught me on her very last tooth and exclaimed, "VICTORY!" She was very proud of herself, but had spent years trying to figure out what tool or device or magic I used to accomplish my task.

Easter Bunny: A fun celebration of the return of nature's growth and newborns and what better way to celebrate that than chocolate.
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Honestly, I think people over-estimate the degree that small kids are actually conscious of this type of thing. They're not sitting there dwelling on how magical Santa is, essentially they're just temporarily fooled into believing something for no reason.

Basically, I don't think Santa or the Easter Bunny has any magic involved at all. Magic is when the parents of kids treat them well.
 
I know a woman who, while her kids were still young enough to believe in Santa, but old enough to willfully misbehave, would pull out her phone and say “I’m calling Santa right now!” That would get the behavior to stop immediately – at least in November-December. I consider that borderline abusive. Don’t know how her kids reacted when they found out the whole thing was a sham.
 
Daughter was 3 years old when she noticed that Santa had the same handwriting as Mom, and used the same wrapping paper as we did on our gifts to each other. :D

I answered her questions truthfully, and she decided she liked the 'Santa Game' as part of our holiday traditions. Cool.
 
Tharmas said:
I know a woman who, while her kids were still young enough to believe in Santa, but old enough to willfully misbehave, would pull out her phone and say “I’m calling Santa right now!” That would get the behavior to stop immediately – at least in November-December. I consider that borderline abusive. Don’t know how her kids reacted when they found out the whole thing was a sham.
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I recall hearing things like that when partner and I went to Michigan around Christmas a few years ago. I was shocked as that kind of thing doesn't happen at all in Ontario.
 
You forgot to include the Harlem Globetrotters and Professional Wrestling.

The kids figure this thing out for themselves. If they get around to asking if Santa is real you tell them the truth. I can remember the question from my youngest. He still insisted Santa was real so went to the Encyclopedia.
 
excreationist said:
So far all 6 Christians who replied don't tell their kids those stories or they actively tell them the truth.
https://www.christianforums.com/threads/children-and-santa-tooth-fairy-etc.8085383/

Even though it is cute to get kids to believe those things, I think it is still immoral since it is lying that doesn't prevent some greater evil.
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Get real. Every person I knew as a child and as a young adult was christian. Every one of them told and lived the Santa tale. That is thousands of christian people.

It's as harmless as going to the movies. Your six christians sound like liars to me.
 
I hope you all realize that if when kids stopped believing in Santa...the presents and gifts stopped too......adults would still believe in Santa.

If Christians and other believers got nothing from God, what would be the point? It is easy to give up Santa, the gifts were from your parents anyway.
 
T.G.G. Moogly said:
excreationist said:
So far all 6 Christians who replied don't tell their kids those stories or they actively tell them the truth.
https://www.christianforums.com/threads/children-and-santa-tooth-fairy-etc.8085383/

Even though it is cute to get kids to believe those things, I think it is still immoral since it is lying that doesn't prevent some greater evil.
Click to expand...

Get real. Every person I knew as a child and as a young adult was christian. Every one of them told and lived the Santa tale. That is thousands of christian people.

It's as harmless as going to the movies. Your six christians sound like liars to me.
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Maybe the Christians in that forum that lied about Santa don't want to speak up. Anyway if being lied to is "harmless" it could still be immoral. In fact many of those Christians in that thread think lying to those kids would be harmful.
 
excreationist said:
T.G.G. Moogly said:
excreationist said:
So far all 6 Christians who replied don't tell their kids those stories or they actively tell them the truth.
https://www.christianforums.com/threads/children-and-santa-tooth-fairy-etc.8085383/

Even though it is cute to get kids to believe those things, I think it is still immoral since it is lying that doesn't prevent some greater evil.
Click to expand...

Get real. Every person I knew as a child and as a young adult was christian. Every one of them told and lived the Santa tale. That is thousands of christian people.

It's as harmless as going to the movies. Your six christians sound like liars to me.
Click to expand...
Maybe the Christians in that forum that lied about Santa don't want to speak up. Anyway if being lied to is "harmless" it could still be immoral. In fact many of those Christians in that thread think lying to those kids would be harmful.
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It's entertainment, much of which, if not most, of course, is a lie. Entertainment which is not factual is therefore immoral and harmful. You could be correct. What is the game and what are the rules?
 
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