Since peacegirl won’t do it, I think it’s time to “spill the tea,” as they say nowadays, on the rest of the book. Surely peacegirl won’t object — she is trying to sell it, after all.
So OK, let’s discuss this book, in which the author talks about the “new world” that will emerge when everyone accepts his argument, a world that he says may have to be enforced at military gunpoint for those laggards and slugabeds who don’t accept his claims.
Did you know that dogs can’t recognize their masters by sight alone? That’s false, of course, but the author claims it is true. Do you know what follows from that assertion, according to the author? What follows is,
the eye is not a sense organ (!). Not only is that false, obviously, but even if it were true that dogs can’t recognize their masters by sight alone (which is false), the conclusion that eyes are not a sense organ (which is also laughably false) would be a total
non sequitur.
And do you know what “the eye is not a sense organ” means, in practice? It means, among other things, that if God turned on the sun at noon, everyone on the side of the earth facing the sun would see the sun immediately, but would not be able to see their neighbors, or anything else, for eight and a half minutes.
Those on the dark side of the earth would see the sun when they wake up, because the photons from the sun “hang around” for those people to see them. Dig it?
Did you know that in the “new world” it will be
mathematically impossible for a husband and wife to desire to share the same bed (!)?
Did you know that in the “new world,” Harry, (stand-in for the author) will get to lick all the “juicy, juicy C’s” he wants, without shame or blame? (peacegirl cut all this out of the book but it’s hilarious, well-written, and even better than Henry Miller’s stuff).
Did you know that in the “new world,” “homo-sexuals” (as the author styles them) are destined to “pass by the wayside in due course”?
Also, there are three kinds of “homo-sexuals” — inherited (I-homos), glandular (g-homos), and environmental (e-homos). But all are totally fucked in the “new world,” and I don’t mean “fucked” in the sense of congress.
Did you know that in the “new world,” a wife will undertake a “scientific study” to learn how to cook the best damned spaghetti and meatballs in the world, because to do otherwise would be to blame her husband for wanting the best damned spaghetti and meatballs in the world?
Did you know that in the “new word,” husbands will go right ahead and fuck their wives on the dinner table, PROVIDED that no “littles ones” are present?
But, wait! Little ones get a break. Did you know that in the “new world” it would be impossible to wake a child, for to do so would be to blame it for sleeping?
Did you know that in the “new world,” a doctor won’t need any training to be a doctor? He will simply hang out a shingle saying “doctor” because he wouldn’t do so if he didn’t think he had the capacity to be a doctor.
Did you know that in the “new world,” there will be no more traffic accidents?
Did you know that the author couldn’t possibly be wrong, because if he was wrong he would have said so, and since he didn’t say so, he must be right?
Did you know that the author was an aluminum sidings salesman and a billiards champ? (The former is fine and dandy provided he was honest in his dealings, as I expect he was; and the latter is just way cool. I play billiards and would love to be a billiards champ. I’m not, alas.
)
Did you know the author, Seymour Lessans, is peacegirl’s father?
Whaddya think, peacegirl? Maybe you’ll get an audience back?
Or maybe not, given that people have
free will and can do whatever the hell they like provided it is neither physically nor logically impossible.
