lpetrich
Contributor
Then about her revealing that she had been sexually assaulted and that the Jan. 6 insurrection made her fear that the attackers would gang-rape her.Ocasio-Cortez knows well the power of personal testimony. She’s become the most talented political communicator of her generation by being frank and relatable—using her social media channels, for example, to explain policy in one moment and then share her struggles building Ikea furniture the next.
Challenging her this November in the NY-14 general election is Tina Forte, a Trumpie and MAGA supporter who was one of the attackers in the Jan. 6 insurrection, someone much like MTG. In the Republican primary, she defeated Desi Cuellar, a more typical sort of conservative.“I could not talk about that day without disclosing it, because it was such a central part of my experience,” ... “I felt like I could not really adequately communicate what that experience was without giving people the context of what I had lived through and what was being echoed, because so much of it was about resonance and fear of a thing that was not theoretical but a fear of a thing that I had experienced.”
Feminists have long grumbled about how rape victims are often not taken very seriously in criminal-justice systems, and a good part of the problem is that many rapists don't seem like Real Criminals. The one unbeatable trait of the aspiring mass killer noticed that many serial killers had gotten away with lesser criminality because they had not seemed like Real Criminals to justice systems.“One major trauma that a lot of survivors of assault deal with is a struggle with being believed,” she told me, adding, “There are aspects of it that I may never share because of the trauma of having that experience litigated in public.”
Nevertheless, there was value, she felt, in sharing what she had endured. “It was someone that I was dating that I was not sexually active with, who forced themselves upon me,” she told me. When she later confronted him, the conversation did not go well. “The insistence on a denial of what happened that very, very clearly happened is also a through line with other women’s experiences, friends that I’ve had, or just a pretending that what very clearly happened, did not happen,” she said. “That, too, is also an assertion of power, and so this assertion of power and dominance over others is not limited to the actual physical fact, but how things are treated afterwards.”
Eventually she confided in two of her colleagues at the restaurant and learned that her experience had not been unique. “It was like everyone had been sexually assaulted that I had worked with,” she said.
Ocasio-Cortez never reported her assault, a choice she knows is familiar for many women and one she said she’d make the same way today. “If the vast majority of sexual assaults happen by a familiar person, the last thing you’re going to want to do is throw someone in jail,” she said. “There is an intersection with the work of abolition and healing and contending with the fact that we as people are capable of doing harm, but we are also capable of healing from harm.”
Part of that healing, though, is the acknowledgment and accountability that she was denied. “Whatever the given circumstances of a situation, if a person is hurt or harmed it’s important to hold space for it, and it’s very, very, very difficult to hold space for a hurt person when you are the one they are saying hurt them,” she replied when I asked how she’d advise a man in her life to respond were he confronted with an allegation of assault. “A lot of these people are not having these conversations with a pitchfork. These are people that very often are trying to heal, and they’re saying, ‘Did what happened, happen?’ It’s not How do we punish? but How do we process, and how do we heal, and how do we change?”
AOC didn't seem to address the issue of how to stop rapists from raping. She was more concerned about helping rape victims recover from what they'd suffered from, a concern that can apply more broadly to crime victims. She seemed to be saying that retribution against criminals is not enough, even very harsh retribution.