Am I drinking too much?

[southernhybrid]

Ok thank you very much everyone for all the comments and replies. I think I'll give it a a rest for at least 3 months, or until we can get pregnant, and then maybe limit my drinking to about once a month to see if that works better.

That sounds like a good plan, especially since you guys are trying to get pregnant. Hope it works out well for you.

 

[T.G.G. Moogly]

I'd like to reinforce Elixir's comments. I enjoy a few drinks but my body doesn't approve. If I drink a six pack I'll get sick and be throwing up. Other people can down a case a day and never get sick or have hangovers.

Addiction to alcohol is impossible for me. A pleasant buzz occasionally is as far as it will get. For others in my extended family addiction to alcohol was a way of life, some dying of liver failure in their sixties.

The test seems to be whether there's a "I've had too much and now I'm sick" threshold. If that doesn't happen then the person has a problem.

 

[WAB]

I have a major drinking problem right now:

I don't have enough money to get as drunk as I'd like to be.



***

Little question:

Do skunks really get that drunk?

 

[Rhea]

Ok thank you very much everyone for all the comments and replies. I think I'll give it a a rest for at least 3 months, or until we can get pregnant, and then maybe limit my drinking to about once a month to see if that works better.

I am glad for your choice. You had me worried. I hope everything goes great with your family plans.

 

[steve_bank]

Growing up in the 50s 60s my extended family were 'functional alcoholics'. Heavy drinkers who mainaed work and paying bills.

Multiple DUI. Several died from chronic drinking.

As this is a morality thread, when you drink a lot and have long term consequences is is the greater society that has to deal with it, like haelth care. It is ad alcohol and drugs are major health care cost drivers, along with tobacco. I have ssen whne I was rehabbing from medical problems.
p
Kidney failure and dialysis is no joke. My first roommate in a nursing home died during dialysis from a blood clot. It takes peole days to recover.

I doubt most people know why they drink. It starts when we are kids mimicking adults. We think its cool, and drinking is reinforced in adverting, tv, and movies.

I do not need it anymore. I feel good without it, don't need it to socialize or deal with boredom and if anything it would bring me down. Don't need alcohol, pot, or drugs to feel alive.

In the old movies it was happy have a drink, down have a drink, nothing to do have a drink, upset have a drink.

Alcohol at any level is a habit.

I think you are fooling yourself id you think you are not addictive, we all are. Marketing plays on it.

Pluss peer pressure. I live in a senior building. There is a group of gus who drink every day on our roof deck. When I moved in there was peer pressure to drink with them. Peer pressure and drinking go hand in hand starting when we are kids..

 

[rousseau]

Growing up in the 50s 60s my extended family were 'functional alcoholics'. Heavy drinkers who mainaed work and paying bills.

Multiple DUI. Several died from chronic drinking.

As this is a morality thread, when you drink a lot and have long term consequences is is the greater society that has to deal with it, like haelth care. It is ad alcohol and drugs are major health care cost drivers, along with tobacco. I have ssen whne I was rehabbing from medical problems.
p
Kidney failure and dialysis is no joke. My first roommate in a nursing home died during dialysis from a blood clot. It takes peole days to recover.

I doubt most people know why they drink. It starts when we are kids mimicking adults. We think its cool, and drinking is reinforced in adverting, tv, and movies.

I do not need it anymore. I feel good without it, don't need it to socialize or deal with boredom and if anything it would bring me down. Don't need alcohol, pot, or drugs to feel alive.

In the old movies it was happy have a drink, down have a drink, nothing to do have a drink, upset have a drink.

Alcohol at any level is a habit.

I think you are fooling yourself id you think you are not addictive, we all are. Marketing plays on it.

Pluss peer pressure. I live in a senior building. There is a group of gus who drink every day on our roof deck. When I moved in there was peer pressure to drink with them. Peer pressure and drinking go hand in hand starting when we are kids..

This, and I don't think a lot of people realize the extent that the addiction actually drives the desire. If you break the addiction you just won't want to do it anymore.

Lately, I actually feel disinclined to drink, most of the time. I feel better without it. This is because my body is acclimated to sobriety.

 

[fromderinside]

Learn to become sleepy before you get thirsty. Suggestion. Take rich food with alcohol.

 

[Smoker]

Not drinking for 3 months is a lot harder to do than I thought it would be. I guess I am probably using alcohol as a way to relax as someone who has anxiety in social situations. I promised my wife I would not get drunk for the next year, but we both know that this is an Idealist thing to promise and I will not technically keep this promise, but at least I am trying

I am wondering if I am capable of having a few drinks with my friends, and not getting drunk and howling at the moon. I might be one of those people that is not capable of stopping after one or two drinks

 

[Smoker]

I should maybe switch to hallucinogens instead. Nobody ever gets addicted to LSD or Peyote. The last time I ate peyote I saw sprits that told me to stop drinking so much. I saw a vision of the fire in my mind being put out slowly by all the beer I drink.

 

[thebeave]

Not drinking for 3 months is a lot harder to do than I thought it would be. I guess I am probably using alcohol as a way to relax as someone who has anxiety in social situations. I promised my wife I would not get drunk for the next year, but we both know that this is an Idealist thing to promise and I will not technically keep this promise, but at least I am trying

I am wondering if I am capable of having a few drinks with my friends, and not getting drunk and howling at the moon. I might be one of those people that is not capable of stopping after one or two drinks

Judging by your username and avatar, maybe drinking isn't really your biggest problem right now. Just sayin'.

 

[abaddon]

I should maybe switch to hallucinogens instead. Nobody ever gets addicted to LSD or Peyote. The last time I ate peyote I saw sprits that told me to stop drinking so much. I saw a vision of the fire in my mind being put out slowly by all the beer I drink.

Or just stop looking to mind-altering chemistry to save you from yourself.

The reason you're finding it hard to stop drinking is because you're fused with your "stinking thinking" about alcohol. There's the AV (Addictive Voice) who keeps making excuses: "it's a social lubricant", "you'll feel better", "there's no fun in life without it", and on and on. So it's a war with yourself - the struggle's like an angel on the right shoulder and a devil on the left.

The end of the misery comes when this arguing with yourself stops. So, why not just have the argument ONCE AND FOR ALL, instead of day after day? Get a piece of paper, draw a line down the middle, and tell all the reasons to drink on the left side. Then on the right side tell why those reasons don't support a happily healthy life that's free of the unhappiness-causing impulses. Pick a side, and declare it the once-and-for-all winner.

You need to identify what the need-to-drink impulsing is, and who you are. You're not an addiction, you're YOU. So next time YOU hear the addiction trying to start the argument again, realize it's an impulse trying to control you with deceptive excuses. Say "Nope! I won this argument already!" and don't indulge it even for a second.

The AV will get weak with time and eventually shut up. But in the meantime, when the AV's trying to start up the arguing again, adamantly shut it down. It does that to wear you down. But clearly there's no good reason to go on and on with an argument that your opponent already lost. It's not the lack of drink that makes you miserable, it's being "at war with yourself". Don't have the war with yourself, have it with the AV - and decisively, ruthlessly, and once and for all, choose that your Self wins against the AV.

 

[T.G.G. Moogly]

I should maybe switch to hallucinogens instead. Nobody ever gets addicted to LSD or Peyote. The last time I ate peyote I saw sprits that told me to stop drinking so much. I saw a vision of the fire in my mind being put out slowly by all the beer I drink.

Or just stop looking to mind-altering chemistry to save you from yourself.

The reason you're finding it hard to stop drinking is because you're fused with your "stinking thinking" about alcohol. There's the AV (Addictive Voice) who keeps making excuses: "it's a social lubricant", "you'll feel better", "there's no fun in life without it", and on and on. So it's a war with yourself - the struggle's like an angel on the right shoulder and a devil on the left.

The end of the misery comes when this arguing with yourself stops. So, why not just have the argument ONCE AND FOR ALL, instead of day after day? Get a piece of paper, draw a line down the middle, and tell all the reasons to drink on the left side. Then on the right side tell why those reasons don't support a happily healthy life that's free of the unhappiness-causing impulses. Pick a side, and declare it the once-and-for-all winner.

You need to identify what the need-to-drink impulsing is, and who you are. You're not an addiction, you're YOU. So next time YOU hear the addiction trying to start the argument again, realize it's an impulse trying to control you with deceptive excuses. Say "Nope! I won this argument already!" and don't indulge it even for a second.

The AV will get weak with time and eventually shut up. But in the meantime, when the AV's trying to start up the arguing again, adamantly shut it down. It does that to wear you down. But clearly there's no good reason to go on and on with an argument that your opponent already lost. It's not the lack of drink that makes you miserable, it's being "at war with yourself". Don't have the war with yourself, have it with the AV - and decisively, ruthlessly, and once and for all, choose that your Self wins against the AV.

That's not going to fix the brain architecture and chemistry that makes for addiction. Addiction is a physical thing. Some people are 5' 2" tall and some people are 6' 2" tall. You can't tell the person who is shorter to write down on a paper all the good and bad things compared to being a foot taller and expect it to make a difference in how tall they are.

Knowing as much, however, arms a person with more knowledge about what is actually occurring and more knowledge is always a good thing. It doesn't make a given condition any better or worse, only brings a bit of closure, understanding. The condition is still there.

 

[rousseau]

I started cutting back on my drinking in 2012 when I had a mild addiction (but not alcoholism). I didn't become a non-drinker until 2018. Since then I've likely had a handful of drinks. Point being that you can't expect to change addiction overnight, but with consistent, and sustained effort to push against it over a long period of time you'll start drinking less.

But then, I'm also of the view that some people are just genetically an alcoholic. My brother is this way, no matter how little he drinks he always wants to drink, so it pretty much comes down to his willpower.

 

[abaddon]

That's not going to fix the brain architecture and chemistry that makes for addiction. Addiction is a physical thing. Some people are 5' 2" tall and some people are 6' 2" tall. You can't tell the person who is shorter to write down on a paper all the good and bad things compared to being a foot taller and expect it to make a difference in how tall they are.

Knowing as much, however, arms a person with more knowledge about what is actually occurring and more knowledge is always a good thing. It doesn't make a given condition any better or worse, only brings a bit of closure, understanding. The condition is still there.

I'm talking from experience, as a former alcohol addict (aka "alcoholic") who recovered by doing exactly what I wrote. It's a secular (non-12-step) treatment for addictions called AVRT (addictive voice recognition technique).

If the ideological bullshit you're blabbering were true, then I (and many others) can't have got over an addiction using psycho-therapeutic intervention.

I used the exact same technique to quit my nicotine addiction a year after I had recovered from alcoholism using it.

The universal trait of all addicts are the cognitive distortions that justify the behavior. They sustain the addiction by making excuses for the self-harming behavior. Change the bodily behavior by changing the thought pattern that sustains it, and the brain will change.

 

[rousseau]

That's not going to fix the brain architecture and chemistry that makes for addiction. Addiction is a physical thing. Some people are 5' 2" tall and some people are 6' 2" tall. You can't tell the person who is shorter to write down on a paper all the good and bad things compared to being a foot taller and expect it to make a difference in how tall they are.

Knowing as much, however, arms a person with more knowledge about what is actually occurring and more knowledge is always a good thing. It doesn't make a given condition any better or worse, only brings a bit of closure, understanding. The condition is still there.

I'm talking from experience, as a former alcohol addict (aka "alcoholic") who recovered by doing exactly what I wrote. It's a secular (non-12-step) treatment for addictions called AVRT (addictive voice recognition technique).

If the ideological bullshit you're blabbering were true, then I (and many others) can't have got over an addiction using psycho-therapeutic intervention.

I used the exact same technique to quit my nicotine addiction a year after I recovered from alcoholism too.

Both of your posts are very much in congruence.

Addiction is about brain chemistry and by changing our habits we change our brain chemistry and structure. But addiction is complex, for some the structure may be less malleable than for others.

So by doing something like ignoring the addictive voice, that voice will literally become weaker as the brain becomes less physically reliant on alcohol.

 

[T.G.G. Moogly]

That's not going to fix the brain architecture and chemistry that makes for addiction. Addiction is a physical thing. Some people are 5' 2" tall and some people are 6' 2" tall. You can't tell the person who is shorter to write down on a paper all the good and bad things compared to being a foot taller and expect it to make a difference in how tall they are.

Knowing as much, however, arms a person with more knowledge about what is actually occurring and more knowledge is always a good thing. It doesn't make a given condition any better or worse, only brings a bit of closure, understanding. The condition is still there.

I'm talking from experience, as a former alcohol addict (aka "alcoholic") who recovered by doing exactly what I wrote. It's a secular (non-12-step) treatment for addictions called AVRT (addictive voice recognition technique).

If the ideological bullshit you're blabbering were true, then I (and many others) can't have got over an addiction using psycho-therapeutic intervention.

I used the exact same technique to quit my nicotine addiction a year after I recovered from alcoholism too.

Both of your posts are very much in congruence.

Addiction is about brain chemistry and by changing our habits we change our brain chemistry and structure. But addiction is complex, for some the structure may be less malleable than for others.

So by doing something like ignoring the addictive voice, that voice will literally become weaker as the brain becomes less physically reliant on alcohol.

It's probably more accurate to say that not all addicts can change their behavior.

 

[rousseau]

Both of your posts are very much in congruence.

Addiction is about brain chemistry and by changing our habits we change our brain chemistry and structure. But addiction is complex, for some the structure may be less malleable than for others.

So by doing something like ignoring the addictive voice, that voice will literally become weaker as the brain becomes less physically reliant on alcohol.

It's probably more accurate to say that not all addicts can change their behavior.

That's kind of what I was getting at with the 'malleable' line, but I realize now that my post wasn't worded well.

For some addiction is fixable, for others it's very difficult to fix. In the latter case I've seen people replace alcohol with a placebo.

 

[WAB]

That's not going to fix the brain architecture and chemistry that makes for addiction. Addiction is a physical thing. Some people are 5' 2" tall and some people are 6' 2" tall. You can't tell the person who is shorter to write down on a paper all the good and bad things compared to being a foot taller and expect it to make a difference in how tall they are.

Knowing as much, however, arms a person with more knowledge about what is actually occurring and more knowledge is always a good thing. It doesn't make a given condition any better or worse, only brings a bit of closure, understanding. The condition is still there.

I'm talking from experience, as a former alcohol addict (aka "alcoholic") who recovered by doing exactly what I wrote. It's a secular (non-12-step) treatment for addictions called AVRT (addictive voice recognition technique).

If the ideological bullshit you're blabbering were true, then I (and many others) can't have got over an addiction using psycho-therapeutic intervention.

I used the exact same technique to quit my nicotine addiction a year after I had recovered from alcoholism using it.

The universal trait of all addicts are the cognitive distortions that justify the behavior. They sustain the addiction by making excuses for the self-harming behavior. Change the bodily behavior by changing the thought pattern that sustains it, and the brain will change.

I am of two minds about addiction. On one hand I believe that it can be overcome with enough effort and enough help - with proper guidance, determination, and medication. I believe this because I know many alcoholics and/or drug addicts who have not used in decades.

I also think Moogly is corrrect that in some, addiction cannot be fixed. I am in this category. It isn't that I cannot stop using some kind of mind-altering chemical. I stopped drinking when I got married at 32, and didn't drink a drop for 8 years. BUT, during that time I substituted dyphenhydramine and/or dextromethorphan for alcohol. Even when I returned to drinking during my break up and subsequent divorce, I still used DXM, and did for more than 20 years). I believe it helped with my depression and anxiety, but it also ate away at my brain, so that my memory is now a shambles, and I am noticeably dumber now than I was when I was in my 20s and 30s. Really, everyone who knows me knows it, even my kids, and especially my siblings and parents.

Even now, at 57, I am forced to be sober because I am on probation and one slip could get me incarcerated. I fear going to jail more than anything, more than death, and more than bad health. But I am miserable. Even on meds, with no mind-enhancing chemicals to interfere with their effectiveness, I am not necessarily suicidal or hopelessly depressed, nor do I enter wildly manic phases, so they do stabilize me; but I feel no pleasurable effects from them, and they are not designed to do so. My caregivers will NOT let me have trancs, or any mind-altering drug, because of my addictive nature, and because I tell them proactively that I WILL probably abuse any such drugs, especially something like a heavy tranquilizer. Give me valium and I will take more than the recommended dose, guaranteed.

So, I am stuck in what they call ham-fisted sobriety. I am this way because, truth be told, without some kind of mental boost, that I can physically feel, I am disinterested, dispassionate, and utterly bored to tears with life. I can feel happy at times, like recently, especially if I stay involved at this site and don't spend all day lying in bed, and if I can maintain working steadily and making money.

BUT - once I am free of probation, I will almost certainly begin to drink, or do something to make my life less boring. I care MORE about enjoying what time I have left than being healthy. I don't give a damn if I drop dead of a stroke or have a heart attack, or if I get run over by a truck. As long as I don't take anyone else with me - which is why I don't drive drunk and have never had a DUI.

Sobriety. Fucking. Sucks. - Ozzy Osbourne.

 

[rousseau]

Sobriety. Fucking. Sucks. - Ozzy Osbourne.

I wonder how much of your issue can be attributed to isolation. It's interesting that you managed to stop drinking when you were married, and managed to stay away from it for so long, but have an issue now. Maybe the issue isn't so much sobriety, but boredom.

I definitely get how sobriety can be a bit boring at times, but I find being in a satisfying relationship with my wife interesting enough that I don't really need alcohol or drugs lately. But a number of months ago she went away with our son for a couple days and it didn't take long before I reached for some of my whisky out of boredom. Similarly, last winter the doldrums got bad enough that I started experimenting with CBD oil and edibles. But once summer hit and I could get outside I didn't feel as much of a need.

 

[WAB]

Sobriety. Fucking. Sucks. - Ozzy Osbourne.

I wonder how much of your issue can be attributed to isolation. It's interesting that you managed to stop drinking when you were married, and managed to stay away from it for so long, but have an issue now. Maybe the issue isn't so much sobriety, but boredom.

I definitely get how sobriety can be a bit boring at times, but I find being in a satisfying relationship with my wife interesting enough that I don't really need alcohol or drugs lately. But a number of months ago she went away with our son for a couple days and it didn't take long before I reached for some of my whisky out of boredom. Similarly, last winter the doldrums got bad enough that I started experimenting with CBD oil and edibles. But once summer hit and I could get outside I didn't feel as much of a need.

Well, it seems I am only bored when I'm sober, and that I become interested in things only when I'm under the influence of something - be it this manic episode that I now feel has reached a dulling point, or some substance-induced euphoria. I was not always like this. I dimly recall being 13 and 14, before I got my first taste beer at 15. I was apparently not bored then, because I was writing like mad and developing my passions for literature and music, especially poetry and song lyrics, both the reading of and the writing.

I remember that fatal day when my friend Ed and I had our first brush with a beer keg. We both became wildly drunk and happy as larks. Nearly unconscious, and stumbling, we helped one another to wheel our bikes homeward. I had a brief love of weed from around 18 to early 20's. But it never did much for me after that. It is legal here in AZ, but I don't feel remotely compelled to buy it.

Ah well...I do realize how pathetic it is, and I should correct something before I forget: I do not mean to say my addiction(s) literally cannot be fixed. What I mean to say is that I have not yet arrived at a point where I want to get fixed.

I'm dreading my inevitable crash back down to either mundane dullness or another battle with depression. I will either knuckle under due to probation and maintain, or succumb to utter silliness and throw caution to the wind...

We shall see!

And be happy with that wonderful family of yours! Those were my happiest days, especially when the boys were little.

OH! and now that I have more money, I am going to buy your book!