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Bad James Bond Film Titles

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Jimmy Higgins

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For some reason, the concept of bad James Bond film titles came to my mind, specifically, Butterball. Both in the sense of how it could relate to the film's plot as well as the iconic opening song during the credit sequence.

I thought this had legs, and was wondering what else would make a terrible James Bond title.
 
Platypussy. Bond is pitted against a flat-footed marsupial smuggler. Both the smuggler and the marsupials are flat-footed.

Oedipussy. Bond's father turns out to be a villain and, well, you can guess how it ends.
 
Goonraker - Bond saves a damsel who has been condemned to having to fix Trump's hair.
 
Quantum of Chlamydia -- after 59 years of unprotected sex with damsels in distress and skeezy villainesses in motels, on yachts, under parachutes, Bond faces his most implacable foe, a foe that can reappear without warning in various disguises.

I always think that Oddjob should've been called Blowjob. He would have had no facial response to the name, just that tiny smile as he came after you.
Pussy Galore's chief henchwoman should've been Lotta Quim or something similar.
 
On Her Majesty's Secret Device - 007 is tasked with the investigation and elimination of the evil genius who sabotaged the queen's favorite dildo.
 
Punani Royale (1968) Bond foils a Smersh plot to inflict hygienic woes on the Queen (Edith Evans). In a key scene, he breaks through the Queen's reserve by realizing that when she says "Honorable discharge", she's referring to her main symptom.
 
Coldfinger - Bond battles a villain who kills via prostate exam.

Live and Let Die of COVID - SPECTRE corners the world N95 mask market
 
Cassini Royale
Trump convinces millions to invest $billions in an effort to turn the Saturn probe into an orbital casino. Bond must prove it's a scam.

Dr. Know
Various countries' intel forces try to get the White House doctor to reveal just what kinda drugs Trump was on during the last two months if his residency.


From Russia with Love
Roger Moore hosts a documentary on the 2016 election.
 
The Living Moonlights - With MI6 dealing with budget crunches all double-naught agents are compelled to take on secondary jobs to supplement their income.
 
Covid is Forever - Bond must get the antidote for Covid from Spectre, led by Trumpfeld.

The man with the Golden hair - ther race is on to get the design of the golden mop that never seems to change
 
You Only Pay Twice
Bond takes a holiday, helping an old friend collect the third and final payment for services rendered to a real estate con man.

Live and Let Die
Pierce Brosnan hosts a documentary on the Covid 19 Pandemic, and the White House efforts to deal with it.

Octopussy
Escorting a visiting dignitary at the aquarium, Bond tires of explaing that one cannot simply grab the marine life because one has fame.
 
Golden Fries - Budget cuts reduce the once double zero agents into remedial fast food workers.
 
Octopussy -- turns out it's a cabal of 8 cats that are trying to kill the First Dog.

Moonraker -- turns out there's nothing nefarious going on, just a Japanese karesansui gardener who likes to work only wearing a loincloth.
 
Moonraker - The US Forest Service is re-assigned to the US Space Force and is now required rake the moon.
 
James Bond: F.U.C.K (Federalist under communist knives)

Plot: Agent 007 is dispatched to the US to infiltrate in hopes to locate the source of instability ravaging US politics and it's population . Upon arrival he discovers a world inundated with feminists that despise womanizers & finds his masculinity toxic. Making this worse, while abroad Great Britain & Ireland split with Britain taking on a Federalist constitution and the US (having transformed into a communist regime) developed a cult like unfriendliness towards British spy's. Being unable to get pussy or trust alliances formed by former British Intelligence Agent 007 is fucked.
 
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