Bishop Claims That A Fetus Becomes Gay If The Mother Has Enjoyed Anal Sex While Pregnant

[Potoooooooo]

https://metro.co.uk/2019/07/26/gay-people-exist-pregnant-women-anal-sex-bishop-says-10464758/
Church of Cyprus bishop Neophytos Masouras has claimed women enjoying anal sex while pregnant is the reason that gay people exist. Speaking at a primary school in Akaki, Cyprus, he claimed that the enjoyment the mother experiences transfers to the foetus, making the child gay.

In a video translated by Metro.co.uk translators, he said: “It happens during the parent’s intercourse or pregnancy. It follows an abnormal sexual act between the parents. To be more clear, anal sex. Saint Porfyrios says that when the woman likes that, a desire is born, and then the desire is passed on to the child.”

 

[Angry Floof]

I think this dude watches too much porn. And how are these demented zealots so unaware of their obsession with gay sex? The world sees you, you pathetic closet homophobic homosexual.

 

[Random Person]

Ironically Cypriots are the highest educated group in the EU.

 

[Atheos]

Well we all know that if she looks at a striped or ringed pattern on the ceiling while being impregnated the kid will be born with stripes or rings. This stands to reason.

 

[Keith&Co.]

Well we all know that if she looks at a striped or ringed pattern on the ceiling while being impregnated the kid will be born with stripes or rings. This stands to reason.

Yeah, but that was during conception.
This would only work the same way if Mom got pregnant during anal sex.
But if this does work, how to explain twins where only one is gay?

 

[ideologyhunter]

Twins, where one is gay? That happens generally when one twin is delivered breech style, and the other, not. Trust me, having someone's junk in your face at a formative stage imprints the behavior.
Love that this bishop really wants to get into a discussion of back door affairs. I'm referring him to the google search term, 'vicar with potato up his bum' for a real-life explication of how the clergy do things.

 

[Keith&Co.]

Twins, where one is gay? That happens generally when one twin is delivered breech style, and the other, not. Trust me, having someone's junk in your face at a formative stage imprints the behavior.

Then wouldn't all babies born through mommy's 'junk' be either straight men or lesbians?

My gay son was born normally. His straight twin was Caesarian.

 

[ideologyhunter]

But I'm speaking strictly from medical evidence, not from irony or satire on a snarky website.

 

[ronburgundy]

So, the clear lesson here is to make sure she doesn't enjoy the anal sex. If she is subjected to unpleasant anal sex, then the baby will be born super-duper straight.

Wow, a theory that is both homophobic and pro anal rape. That is really something the conservatives can get behind.

 

[Playball40]

Well we all know that if she looks at a striped or ringed pattern on the ceiling while being impregnated the kid will be born with stripes or rings. This stands to reason.

Yeah, but that was during conception.
This would only work the same way if Mom got pregnant during anal sex.
But if this does work, how to explain twins where only one is gay?

She only HALF liked it! Duh!

 

[Tom Sawyer]

What if the mother didn't particularly enjoy the anal sex but just let the guy do it as a treat for his birthday? Is that why we have bisexuality or something?

 

[Keith&Co.]

What if the mother didn't particularly enjoy the anal sex but just let the guy do it as a treat for his birthday? Is that why we have bisexuality or something?

Greater love hath no woman than to offer up her bisexual-bending-bumhole birthday gift to his boner while bearing a baby...

 

[steve_bank]

A correlation would say being a Catholic priest tends to make one a sexual predator.

Sexual abstinence leads to sexual predators to satisfy a human need.

 

[FwL]

What effect does the mother enjoying anal sex have on a female fetus?

What sexual activity produces lesbian children?

Note to self: Women with gay sons enjoy anal sex.

 

[Keith&Co.]

What effect does the mother enjoying anal sex have on a female fetus?

Meh. Homophobes don't seem nearly as concerned about lesbians being created. They just concentrate on gay guys and butt stuff.

 

[Keith&Co.]

Saint Porfyrios says that when the woman likes that, a desire is born, and then the desire is passed on to the child.”

Ah, so he's just repeating what Porphyrios said. Who was a hieromonk,

known for his gifts of spiritual discernment, a type of clairvoyance which he sometimes called "spiritual television."

I kinda wanna know what spiritual channels this guy was watching to figure out how anal sex influenced the fetus...

 

[ideologyhunter]

Also, to follow Bishop Neophytos' logic, if the mother was, say, 6 weeks preggo and filming a three-input scene for a porno --and at least partially got off on it --would it be safe to assume that her baby would turn out as a gender-fluid, bi-curious, skoliosexual, livestock-friendly pansexualist with a habit of leaning in close to vibrating clothes dryers? Or just paranoid, as in, 'Jesus, they're coming at me from all sides.'

 

[Keith&Co.]

Also, to follow Bishop Neophytos' logic, if the mother was, say, 6 weeks preggo and filming a three-input scene for a porno --and at least partially got off on it --would it be safe to assume that her baby would turn out as a gender-fluid, bi-curious, skoliosexual, livestock-friendly pansexualist with a habit of leaning in close to vibrating clothes dryers? Or just paranoid, as in, 'Jesus, they're coming at me from all sides.'

I think you just passed way, way beyond my level of knowledge in the topic. I don't spend nearly as much time thinking about other people having sex as a celibate hieromonk or bishop obviously does. So I'd say we need to find an expert who spends an unconscionable amount of time thinking such things. I suggest either a celibate Catholic, or one of those Southern Baptists who are terrified that someone, somewhere, is having more fun than they allow themselves to contemplate.

Oh, wait, no, not SB. They won't accept the basic assertion that someone is born gay.

 

[Lugubert]

Don't despair, there's an alternative explanation and a cure for the Gay.

Here

An academic in Kuwait has claimed in a television interview that gay men have a worm in their anus that 'feeds on semen' and that she has found a cure for homosexuality.

This bizarre and completely false statement was made by Mariam Al-Sohel, who is reportedly an anti-gay and anti-lesbian researcher in the Middle Eastern country, who believes there are four genders - 'male, female, feminine gay men and butch lesbians'.
During a discussion on Scope TV, a broadcaster based in Kuwait City, she claimed that the cure, which is based around 'therapeutic suppositories', is inspired by Islamic prophecies and is all based on science.

 

[Tom Sawyer]

Don't despair, there's an alternative explanation and a cure for the Gay.

Here

An academic in Kuwait has claimed in a television interview that gay men have a worm in their anus that 'feeds on semen' and that she has found a cure for homosexuality.

This bizarre and completely false statement was made by Mariam Al-Sohel, who is reportedly an anti-gay and anti-lesbian researcher in the Middle Eastern country, who believes there are four genders - 'male, female, feminine gay men and butch lesbians'.
During a discussion on Scope TV, a broadcaster based in Kuwait City, she claimed that the cure, which is based around 'therapeutic suppositories', is inspired by Islamic prophecies and is all based on science.

So, basically, his solution is to stick his finger up people's asses and feel around trying to find a worm?