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Can I talk about your body that you are exposing?

I couldn't care less what other people wear. I would never, ever comment on someone else's choice of clothing, unless it was a close friend or family member that wanted my honest opinion. Otherwise, I will admit that I'm often mildly amused by what other people wear. I just keep my amusement to my self. Sometimes my husband and I do have a little laugh at how some of the locals dress. My favorite is seeing someone in the grocery store wearing pajama bottoms and slippers with a t-shirt that doesn't match. But, there are plenty of amusing outfits to see in my fair city. Perhaps I should admire their ability to not give a fuck about how they look.


I do prefer clothing to nudity. Think of it this way. Most mammals have fur. Our closest relatives have fur, and bonobos are the only apes who openly show off their erotic parts. Birds have feathers. Mammals and birds would be ugly without their fur or feathers. People don't have fur or feathers, so we wear clothing to make us look more attractive, and to protect us from the elements. It's not a moral issue for me. I just don't find nudity attractive in the majority of cases. Sure, it's fun to be naked and uninhibited when you're having sex, but that's it for me. In public, I prefer keeping some things private and hidden from view.

So, do your thing and don't worry about what anyone else thinks of you. If I spend time fixing my hair, wearing jewelry, or making sure that my jeans fit me perfectly, I do it for myself and not for anyone else. And, other than my adoring husband, I'd prefer not to have any men make comments about my appearance. If a female friend tells me that she likes what I'm wearing or that I have pretty hair, that's cool. It's just not necessary. I have more than enough self esteem as it is.

I still believe that everyone is responsible for the reaction that they may get (or not get) from what they decide to wear. Now some people are like you and they couldn't care less and would not comment and frankly are comfortable with themselves and their "non comments" reflect that. However, not all people are like that and they also have the right to comment if they want to.
I have been with my wife 1000s of times out in public when she has been showing ample cleavage and I (and my wife) have to be willing to see the stares and hear the comments (weather good or bad) and be able to be comfortable with them.
 
I just think it's rude to make comments about the appearance of other people. I'm not going to say that I never have thoughts about how someone looks. It usually has nothing to do with how much skin is exposed. I just live in a place where it can be very amusing to people watch, but some things are better left unsaid.

I saw a very overweight woman wearing something very inappropriate last week. I kept my mouth shut, but my husband kept pushing me to look in her direction. I just told him, "I know, I saw it"'. It certainly would be boring if everyone dressed like me, as I always wear jeans and cotton knit shirts. I"m happy with my appearance, but if an overweight woman feels happy wearing tight pants and showing cleavage, that has nothing to do with me. I'm not going to judge someone based on her appearance or make comments that they can hear, and I wish no-one else would either. Some things are better left unsaid.

Based on your comments here, I get the impression that you guys just like drawing attention to yourselves, so those comments you get are a type of drama reward for you. I'm not like that. I have a nice figure and I'm a lot older than your wife. I've worked hard to stay in shape, but I do it for myself. I don't need anyone making comments about how I look and I prefer not drawing a lot of attention to myself. My husband gives me plenty of attention. That's all I need or want.
 
I just think it's rude to make comments about the appearance of other people. I'm not going to say that I never have thoughts about how someone looks. It usually has nothing to do with how much skin is exposed. I just live in a place where it can be very amusing to people watch, but some things are better left unsaid.

I saw a very overweight woman wearing something very inappropriate last week. I kept my mouth shut, but my husband kept pushing me to look in her direction. I just told him, "I know, I saw it"'. It certainly would be boring if everyone dressed like me, as I always wear jeans and cotton knit shirts. I"m happy with my appearance, but if an overweight woman feels happy wearing tight pants and showing cleavage, that has nothing to do with me. I'm not going to judge someone based on her appearance or make comments that they can hear, and I wish no-one else would either. Some things are better left unsaid.

Based on your comments here, I get the impression that you guys just like drawing attention to yourselves, so those comments you get are a type of drama reward for you. I'm not like that. I have a nice figure and I'm a lot older than your wife. I've worked hard to stay in shape, but I do it for myself. I don't need anyone making comments about how I look and I prefer not drawing a lot of attention to myself. My husband gives me plenty of attention. That's all I need or want.

My wife would rather not get any comments at all, good or bad. She likes it when we go to clothing optional resorts or the like because everyone is exposing a lot and no one comments on anything or anyone. I was a male stripper in my 20s and male strippers are usually in it more for the attention than the money.
 
This week a woman complimented the hat I was wearing. I smiled, said Thank You, and went about my day.

Is that the same a compliment about my body, or is it different?
 
This week a woman complimented the hat I was wearing. I smiled, said Thank You, and went about my day.

Is that the same a compliment about my body, or is it different?

It might depend. For example, did you have the hat draped over a huge erection?

Or, were you only wearing a hat and nothing else?
 
This week a woman complimented the hat I was wearing. I smiled, said Thank You, and went about my day.

Is that the same a compliment about my body, or is it different?

I think it's different.

A body is more personal, more intimate and not something that you necessarily chose and paid for yourself. It's much less changeable than a shirt or a pair of pants, for instance, or even a hat.

Clothing, especially with graphics is often specifically intended to convey a message and perhaps provoke a response, such as affirmation or even confrontation. If you wear a t-shirt with say, a photo of your pet or your favorite beer on it, you might get a specific response. If it's a souvenir t-shirt, you might get comments about how cool that place was, etc.

Bodies and specifically body parts I think of differently. They are literally part of you and to comment is more intimate and perhaps not as comfortable. As a girl and as a woman, I learned that certain kinds of comments be and sometimes were followed up with further comments and actions that might be very unwelcome--even if very modestly dressed. Ask almost any woman who has been pregnant, and she will likely tell you of many instances when strangers not only felt free to comment on her belly but also wanted to offer advice and even touch her belly. Which is one thing when it's your favorite (or not so favorite) aunt or cousin and another if it's a complete stranger or the pervy uncle or cousin.
 
Good point, I’ve had people comment on my pregnant belly - when I’m not pregnant. Luckily for me I have a sense of reality and humor. But they usually seem quite traumatized by it. :D
 
Good point, I’ve had people comment on my pregnant belly - when I’m not pregnant. Luckily for me I have a sense of reality and humor. But they usually seem quite traumatized by it. :D

yea, and they should be traumatized.
 
It's NEVER ok to 'comment' on ones physical appearance (I'm talking about casually). One does NOT know what another is going through and random comments could be dangerous triggers. Imagine the teenager battling a deadly eating disorder having someone come up and say...."Wow, you've lost some weight....you look amazing....wish I could have that kind of self control." Blah blah blah. They have NO IDEA what they have just done, but given that ED have a 20%, that's 1 in 5, FATALITY rate.....that "innocent" albeit inappropriate comment could have been the "death" of another person.

This isn't right. First of all, that statistic is about anorexia nervosa, not all eating disorders, and second it's a statistic about untreated anorexia.

Second, even if the statistic was right, what's the evidence that random comments, intended to be positive, about the thinness of an anorexic contributes to such a death rate?

A different perspective: far, far, far more people across the world are overweight or obese and are trying to lose weight (yours truly included). A few months ago, the register operator at my local liquor shop said it looked like I'd lost weight (I had, a significant amount in fact). She was happy for me and I felt fantastic that someone I saw only rarely had noticed. It was a good feeling after months of hard work.

Would I have felt like shit if I had stomach cancer and that was the reason I was losing weight? Probably, but that doesn't mean people should refrain from offering comments intended to be positive to acquaintances.
 
It's a good thing most people have a strong feeling of empathy, because otherwise if the way to determine if something should be said were about potentially "triggering" them, no one would be able to say anything to anyone about anything.
 
You don't have to "cat call" to compliment somebody's bodily display.

This is probably a good key to the dividing line. I agree. Difference between saying, “wow, you have a fabulous ass,” and “Hey baby, that ass for me?”

Which brings up one important addition to the discussion: Just because it is being displayed, does NOT mean it is being offered, like, EVER. That requires consent.

As we have had driven home as of late, that may very well depend upon one's birthright and socioeconomic status.

Is this comment ok mods?
 
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