New York, NY — The recent revelations from porn star Stormy Daniels regarding an alleged affair with Donald Trump has Americans asking themselves many questions.
Among them, how important is a decade old consensual affair, were campaign finance laws broken with her payout, why is the White House continuing to deny it while saying she broke an NDA.
Most importantly, however, Americans are asking themselves, are they really ready to see photographic, audible, or video evidence of Donald Trump having sex?!
Donald Trump would have had this affair with Stormy Daniels well into his 60s and his body shape, according to many noted marine biologists is more akin to that of a walrus or manatee than it is to a human.
“I honestly don’t know if I’m prepared to see it,” noted Carol Summers, a retired school teacher. “I just don’t know if it is worth it to see that bloated mammal hovering on top of a porn star.”
Political historians note the uniqueness of the situation. “Even dating just to the 90’s with Monica Lewinsky,” noted Dr. Evan Childress, a Poli-Sci professor at Georgetown University, “The availability to capture, store, and share media just wasn’t what it is like now.
“We know there have been affairs in the past, but this would be the first one with graphical evidence.
“America hasn’t had to deal with this moral issue before and it will be important to know where we truly stand, because there is no unseeing this President’s ass.”
Up to this point, the visual evidence of the alleged affair is only through more allegation, but if it does exist, Americans will need to decide where they stand.
