Game: Remakes that could never happen now because well...

[Patooka]

So a pretty straightforward game. Name something in popular culture that wouldn't hold up nowadays because of the current climate. For example:

Bad Dudes vs DragonNinja.
Two "Bad Dudes" from New York feel it's their patriotic duty to fight ninjas in order to rescue the President, who has been kidnapped.

Out for Justice
Steven Seagal is a cop who sees his partner get murdered. He gets the green light from his captain to hunt the murderer down by any means necessary with no oversight.

Dave Lister's Monopoly pub crawl.
In the novel, Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers, Lister and seven of his mates go to a pub on every street that is on the board of Monopoly and have a pint. He makes it to Oxford Street before he blacks out.

 

[jonatha]

Song of the South (duh...)

 

[hurtinbuckaroo]

Escape From New York

In the remake, Snake Plisskin, having been offered freedom if he rescues the president, immediately shoots himself in the head.

 

[Keith&Co.]

For similar reasons, Back To The Future.

After non-specific terrorists kill Doc Brown, Marty escapes to the past. Then smashes the time machine with a tire iron and starts a new life as, well, anything but an inhabitant of 2020.

 

[Jimmy Higgins]

Air Force One

Yeah, Trump shits his pants and gives up, provides the terrorists with the nuclear codes (even though they didn't ask for them), and shares one last loving embrace with his daughter before being shot to death. Melania turns out to be a mole and leader of the terrorist gang.

 

[Elixir]

All the President's Men

Not possible now, because the president doesn't have men, he only has toadies.

 

[hurtinbuckaroo]

Any Dirty Harry movie.

 

[ideologyhunter]

Doubtful:
It's a Wonderful Trump

Christmas Eve: Donald T. Bailey is at a low ebb. Police have shut down his bookie joints, topless bars, and whorehouses, and his side interests in meth, male prostitution, internet porn, identity theft, counterfeiting, elder abuse, selling illegal immigrants' babies, and mailing parcels with insufficient postage are under investigation. With his back to the wall, Donald decides to kill himself with autoerotic asphyxiation.
As he is masturbating to death, he is caught in the act by his guardian angel, Clarence Thomas, who shows him a world without Donald T. Bailey:
> whorehouses, strip bars, etc., replaced by Christian churches, Orthodox Jewish synagogues, and Mormon temples
> instead of raw-dogging a porn star, the societal norm for men is monthly missionary position with Donna Reed
> illegal immigrants are treated with respect and some are offered a path to citizenship
Donald decides to continue masturbating to death, but Clarence tells him there are about 100 million banjo-picking, cousin-fucking morons who love him, so he stops. As he pulls up his pants, he finds some crumbled marijuana buds in the pockets. He mutters, "Ivanka's petals," and instantly regains a raging erection. Close up on the trouser bulge as the choir sings 'Auld Lang Syne'.

 

[ZiprHead]

Olympus Has Fallen

Too late.

 

[Patooka]

For similar reasons, Back To The Future.

After non-specific terrorists kill Doc Brown, Marty escapes to the past. Then smashes the time machine with a tire iron and starts a new life as, well, anything but an inhabitant of 2020.

A better fit would be Quantum Leap, where Sam Beckett tries desperately to stay in the past despite his hologram friend's best efforts.

A Time ti Kill. In the remake:

The rape of Samuel L Jackson's daughter causes mass protests from both sides of the community. As he rushes into the courthouse to kill the rapists, he is gunned down by some very fine people exercising their second amendment rights. Because the trial is fake and very unfair, the rapists are found guilty. Luckily, the President found this to be intolerable and pardoned the rapists and they live happily ever after. Movie ends with the rapists walking with the judge out of the courthouse, then they all salute the American flag.

The Front Runner. In the remake:

A presidential candidate is found to be having an extramarital affair. No one gives a shit. (and the film is only two years old).

 

[Keith&Co.]

Robert Redford's The Candidate.
The one about a guy with no political experience or aspirations, asked to run for office because of his political connections? Promised not to win, ends up winning almost by accident? No real plan in place for an agenda?
Yeah. Kinda reminds me of that movie about the Russian/US race to the Moon. Made before the moon landings, the TV Guide listing classified it as "science no-longer-fiction."

 

[Jimmy Higgins]

For similar reasons, Back To The Future.

After non-specific terrorists kill Doc Brown, Marty escapes to the past. Then smashes the time machine with a tire iron and starts a new life as, well, anything but an inhabitant of 2020.

A better fit would be Quantum Leap, where Sam Beckett tries desperately to stay in the past despite his hologram friend's best efforts.

A Time ti Kill. In the remake:

The rape of Samuel L Jackson's daughter causes mass protests from both sides of the community. As he rushes into the courthouse to kill the rapists, he is gunned down by some very fine people exercising their second amendment rights. Because the trial is fake and very unfair, the rapists are found guilty. Luckily, the President found this to be intolerable and pardoned the rapists and they live happily ever after. Movie ends with the rapists walking with the judge out of the courthouse, then they all salute the American flag.

Actually isn't A Time To Kill pretty much where we are at the moment? Just that Trump would be bitching about wanting to send the military in to quell the black protests.

 

[Jayjay]

Ghostbusters

Because there is no way that three entrepreneurs starting their own company after being shunned by the academic community who openly flaunt environmental regulations and government oversight could be the heroes.

 

[Elixir]

Gone With the Wind

Impossible to re-make because the North's Commander in Chief would send the military to help the South so the South would win, the North's Commander in Chief would surrender. So all the (white) people would live happily ever after and the whole plot would be shot to hell.

 

[Patooka]

Alien

A spaceship crew gets themselves killed because they didn't think quarantine procedures and social distancing are important.

 

[Elixir]

Rocky - and Rockies 2,3 and 4

Apollo Creed gets pulled over on the way to the arena for driving while black.
The cop orders him out of his car, then seeing Apollo, fears for his life so naturally has to shoot him.

George "Miles" Jergens has to give everyone their money back so he commits suicide.