Jones. Xmas Jones.

[Keith&Co.]

Okay, so in one Bond Movie, there's this girl. Her name's Christmas Jones.


One of the first things she says to Bond is not to make any jokes, she's heard them all.

You know, on the one hand, i'd certainly want to respect the wishes of a Doctor who dresses like Lara Croft. I don't really WANT to tease her about her name.

On the other hand, she can't possibly have heard ALL the jokes. I tend to think I could come up with at least one she hasn't heard...

So the challenge:

How many jokes can we all think up about a beautiful woman named Christmas?

Obviously, every boy she's ever dated has asked for the chance to unwrap his Christmas present.

A few wanted her hose, to hand a Christmas Stocking by the chimney with care.

Maybe a coach asked her to go out for softball, and made her Catcher because he promised his (wife/mom/girlfriend) 'Christmas at home.'

Or a glee club member suggested she join, because every song would be a Christmas Carol.

I'd probably give her a box of hair dye and a book by Charles Dickens. Then ask her to 'god bless us, everyone,' for a Christmas Clairol...

Others?

 

[Bronzeage]

There's only one Christmas Jones joke.

Jones: Yes, my name is Christmas. Don't make any jokes.

Bond: I wouldn't think of such a thing. It just occurred to me, it must be frustrating to only come once a year.

 

[Keith&Co.]

Cute.

 

[Jayjay]

There are so many jokes...

Bond sure can keep it up with the Jones's.
You may have heard of the "Jonestown massacre", she was there. Before that it was called plain old "Pleasantville massacre".
So Dr. Jones, are you as averse of snakes as I've heard? There's one in my pants that could make you change your mind.

etc.

 

[dendrast]

She looks hot. Maybe I'd like to spend my life with her and merry Christmas.

I wonder if she knew Yule Brynner?