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Kids learning how to do things that are hard

Rhea

Rhea

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And speaking of movement (from the recess thread) I am also pondering the difficulty my son is having right now doing something that is not intuitive. All his life, things have been extraordinarily easy for him. All of his classes have been intuitively absorbed with little no effort. But this will not be forever true.

And so I try to make sure he is occasionally forced to do things that are NOT easy. So that he will know how to push himself through hard times. Usually this falls under the category of physical things. He's not terribly in tune with _rhythm_. I would say he's not coordinated, but he somehow manages to avoid injury through some fantastical contortions. He hates sports. But ask him to _dance_ and it is excruciating torture. Hollywood could not ask for a better model of the rhythmless nerd.

So right now, he is trying out for the school musical. And he has to learn a dance number to audition. He likes to sing - he LOVES to sing - and he's quite good. But almost all musicals require some dancing.

So here we are. Pushing through toil. Trying to do some cha-chas, some leaps, some spins, and linking them all together at a pretty fast beat. While not looking like a nerd who is walking a tightrope over a pit of bubbling lava, afraid for his life.

...still, I think it's good for people to know how to push themselves through something very unnatural/difficult. I think he'll be able to look back at this and know, "this group interview may be scary, but I learned how to dance in front of an audience of hundreds. I'm empowered."
 
I'm going through something similar with my son. He's great when he's within his comfort zone but panics and gives up when facing something outside of his comfort zone. I'm working with him on some strategies to deal with things he's not comfortable doing and aren't easy for him. It stretches his capabilities and lets him know that failing at something isn't all that big a deal and not something to be worried about ... unless you're failing at something like running away from a hungry bear or the like, of course.
 
Tom Sawyer said:
I'm going through something similar with my son. He's great when he's within his comfort zone but panics and gives up when facing something outside of his comfort zone. I'm working with him on some strategies to deal with things he's not comfortable doing and aren't easy for him. It stretches his capabilities and lets him know that failing at something isn't all that big a deal and not something to be worried about ... unless you're failing at something like running away from a hungry bear or the like, of course.
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You probably shouldn't have started with the bear, dude.

When he gets out of hospital, try something a little easier: toss him out of a boat in Lake Ontario and tell him he has to swim home.
 
Tom Sawyer said:
I'm going through something similar with my son. He's great when he's within his comfort zone but panics and gives up when facing something outside of his comfort zone. I'm working with him on some strategies to deal with things he's not comfortable doing and aren't easy for him. It stretches his capabilities and lets him know that failing at something isn't all that big a deal and not something to be worried about ... unless you're failing at something like running away from a hungry bear or the like, of course.
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This is a pretty key lesson.

To some degree I think a lot of people are either motivated, or not, but one thing that differentiates motivated people is their willingness to try new things and risk failure. Those who realize that pushing themselves but failing is a natural part of life will be way more effective than people who are too afraid to push themselves at all.

So if someone has perseverance and motivation, they'll likely strive through 'hard' things anyway, but will do so better and more often if they realize failure is ok.
 
Yeah, I think that condition where failure is terrifying in part because it has always been avoided is a real thing that some people (like my son, and my husband to a degree) need a deliberate programme to overcome. In many ways, your right both forward and backward, Rousseau, in that people can also develop more motivation by becoming desensitized to failure.

We are still waiting for the roles to be announced, but his tryout was good and that's a positive no matter what. He didn't get a call-back for one of the main roles, but a bit-part will still be fun and provide lots of opportunity for growth.
 
I would look upon teaching a child to do something difficult with two main thoughts in mind.

1. Remove all fear of the content. That sounds easier said than done, and in some ways it is. Algebra and fractions are two things that come to mind. Students often fail at these, or think they will, because teacher usually say that they are 'difficult' and so 'need a not of concentration'. The first thing to do is say, it may take a few attempts to master it, but you can.

Which leads me to my second thought:

2. The three phases of every successful lesson. First you start off with something you know the student CAN do successfully. With Dancing, this may be as simple as swaying with the beat. Second, you introduce a few steps. Practice these. Adding them to the sway. Finally, try and put them together for a final review, or go back to the point they succeeded, even if it wasn't quite as far as you got. You are are then letting them finish the lesson on a note of success.

Good luck Rhea's Son... I hope you get the part. :D
 
Those are great thoughts for this. Some that we did use, others that we can use next time. :)

I did laugh at "something he CAN do, like swaying with the beat," Uh... no, not this kid. LOL. We started with just standing up. :D
 
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