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Latest right wing conspiracy theory: Obama covering up imminent Yellowstone volcano eruption

Underseer

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http://www.newsmax.com/thewire/yellowstone-caldera-conspiracy-volcano/2014/05/05/id/569455/

Straight from the Fair And Balanced(tm) side of the media, so you know it's true!

The giant caldera volcano in Yellowstone is about to erupt, and the dictator Obama has been quietly moving government workers away from the area so that they don't die. The dictator isn't warning citizens about the imminent eruption because he wants them to die!!!!!!111!!!!!1! Wake up, sheeple! If you don't do something about this dictator right now, we're all going to die!!!!!!!11!!!!!!1!!!!!1111111

[/conservolibertarian]

- - - Updated - - -

Honestly, I think the secret weather machine was funnier, but I suppose they get points for creativity.
 
Yellowstone is a super-volcano. How would "moving workers out of the area" make them somehow safer if it erupts?
 
Yellowstone is a super-volcano. How would "moving workers out of the area" make them somehow safer if it erupts?

Because they won't be there when the volcano erupts and thus won't die. Yeesh, do we have to explain everything to you dumb liberals? And why would you question unimportant details in a news article from a non-biased source anyway? [/conservolibertarian]
 
I thought this was some stupid Facebook farce. That something is happening at Yellowstone, not Newsmax.

Funny thing is, I think I'd rather be as close to possible to that thing when it goes. Quick and simple.
 
http://www.newsmax.com/thewire/yellowstone-caldera-conspiracy-volcano/2014/05/05/id/569455/

Straight from the Fair And Balanced(tm) side of the media, so you know it's true!

The giant caldera volcano in Yellowstone is about to erupt, and the dictator Obama has been quietly moving government workers away from the area so that they don't die. The dictator isn't warning citizens about the imminent eruption because he wants them to die!!!!!!111!!!!!1! Wake up, sheeple! If you don't do something about this dictator right now, we're all going to die!!!!!!!11!!!!!!1!!!!!1111111

[/conservolibertarian]

The news behind the fiction and fright wigs: Yellowstone Caldera: More Magma, Less Eruptable http://www.wired.com/2014/05/yellowstone-caldera-more-magma-less-eruptible/

Farrell and others (2014) estimate that this melt is stored in a mush that is only 5-15% molten — that is to say, 85-95% of the reservoir is solid. This makes all that magma extremely difficult to mobilize to eruption, as mushes will likely behave like a solid until ~40% melt. This new estimate is also much lower than the previous estimate that was ~32% melt. This means that Yellowstone is far below the bar for an eruption based on new models of buoyancy-driven eruptions.
So, the Yellowstone Caldera magmatic system might be larger than we previously thought, but much of that magma looks to be locked into a mush that is much less molten … and means its harder to erupt. As the scientists at the Yellowstone Volcano Observatory said after this study was publicized at the American Geophysical Union meeting last December: “The new findings do not imply increased geologic hazards at Yellowstone, and certainly do not increase the chances of a “supereruption” in the near future”. All is well-and-good at the world’s largest caldera system, so don’t buy into those “sky is falling” Chicken Little’s out there who like to get their kicks from every blip at Yellowstone. . The caldera is being watched, but right now, it is just business as usual.

rat-tat- bumpf
 
But that is exactly what Nobama wants you to think. He wants to precipitate the eruption so he can finally Marxinize the nation from the rubble that is left.
 
The news behind the fiction and fright wigs: Yellowstone Caldera: More Magma, Less Eruptable http://www.wired.com/2014/05/yellowstone-caldera-more-magma-less-eruptible/

Farrell and others (2014) estimate that this melt is stored in a mush that is only 5-15% molten — that is to say, 85-95% of the reservoir is solid. This makes all that magma extremely difficult to mobilize to eruption, as mushes will likely behave like a solid until ~40% melt. This new estimate is also much lower than the previous estimate that was ~32% melt. This means that Yellowstone is far below the bar for an eruption based on new models of buoyancy-driven eruptions.
So, the Yellowstone Caldera magmatic system might be larger than we previously thought, but much of that magma looks to be locked into a mush that is much less molten … and means its harder to erupt. As the scientists at the Yellowstone Volcano Observatory said after this study was publicized at the American Geophysical Union meeting last December: “The new findings do not imply increased geologic hazards at Yellowstone, and certainly do not increase the chances of a “supereruption” in the near future”. All is well-and-good at the world’s largest caldera system, so don’t buy into those “sky is falling” Chicken Little’s out there who like to get their kicks from every blip at Yellowstone. . The caldera is being watched, but right now, it is just business as usual.

rat-tat- bumpf

Ah ha! That proves that Obama is trying to kill us all! Wake up sheeple! Freedom isn't free! Bengazzee! [/conservolibertarian]
 
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