Punchlines Only

[TV and credit cards]

Oh my god! The Czech is in the male!

 

[Veritass]

Promise them anything, but give them our page.

 

[Keith&Co.]

Hopefully this goes somewhere.

So far, it's gone to where i'm sure there are very few jokes i haven't heard, in one form or another, and it's hard to remember if a certain punchline has been posted or not....


"But this one's eating my popcorn!"

 

[Atheos]

So deaf people can appreciate them too.

 

[ZiprHead]

So she says, "no, but the guy before you was."

 

[pegasus8]

Last Time I Saw A Face Like That It Had A Hook In It.

Oh yeah that will buff right out.

___________________________

Toga Party!

 

[Daioh]

- Congratulations, You were just screwed by the Sisters of Mercy

-Orage you glad I didn't say Banana?

- The bartender looks up and says "What is this, some kind of joke?"

 

[Achwienichtig]

Oh, he's our shortstop.

 

[Keith&Co.]

Well, my sister and I have talked it over. We can offer 70% of the store's profits and free room and board.

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"Poor little monkey, trying to put the cork back in."

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No, thanks, I have a good horse under me.

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I couldn't stop, it was all one piece.

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I think you'd better not mess up, that's what I think.

 

[Keith&Co.]

Part 1: You open the fridge and put the elephant in.

Part 2: You open the fridge, take out the elephant and put the giraffe in.

Part 3: Except for the giraffe, he's in the fridge.

Part 4: You swim across. All the crocodiles are at the all-animal-meeting.

 

[Keith&Co.]

“Madam, in the morning I will be sober”

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"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

 

[Keith&Co.]

He says 'go ahead and shoot, gringo,' he's not afraid of you.

 

[Keith&Co.]

"The Aristocrats!"

 

[Keith&Co.]

"Raspberry Ripple!"

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Well, first off, we need to get you a hearing aid.

 

[James Brown]

The rooster said, "Shut up, you old coot. You'll scare 'em off."

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"Uh, she's stuck up on the roof."

 

[braces_for_impact]

"Tag! You're it!"

 

[Keith&Co.]

Catch that and paint it red.

 

[Mageth]

Surprise, surprise, surprise! That's not my finger either!

 

[Alcoholic Actuary]

What? Did you think I asked for a 12 inch pianist?

Two, but don't ask me how they got in there.




aa

 

[Keith&Co.]

"Well, you don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are largely due to hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is, you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault."