Really Missing The Point Award

[Keith&Co.]

Saw a quote on FSTDT. A fundie defending his statements on a subject:

im very sorry if you find me to be hostile and offensive with my words, i just stand by my beliefs like gollum and the one ring

I, um....what? Gollum did not BELIEVE in the Ring, he did not Stand By it or what it stood for. He was addicted to it, and corrupted by it.

Murder to possess it, betrayal to regain it, envy of whoever had it... The only sin I can think of that he didn't commit was usury.

And now, that scene in the Dead Marshes, when he talks about seeing the ghosts of the dead in the water, and trying to get them, with intimations that he was probably trying to eat the dead men and elves? Thanks to this quote, I now imagine a very, very sloppy form of Communion in the Gollum Church... No longer ritual cannibalism, but straight up thank-god-for-ketchup.

 

[Rhea]

Wow. And it wasn’t a joke, even?

 

[Tom Sawyer]

Hey, at least he tried to be edgy and kool in order to try and konnect with the young'uns with some hip language and pop kulture references.

 

[Jimmy Higgins]

The way the internet is today, I'd have a hard time taking anything on FSTDT too seriously (surprised it was still around). Just too many socks and trolls out there.

 

[Angry Floof]

Related story. Just now, someone on my game account on FB posted that "A rain drop on your cheek is a kiss from someone in heaven who watches over you."

I couldn't help but reply with, "A rain drop is water condensed in the clouds by molecules sticking together due to temperature changes and becoming heavier and therefore falling to the earth. Your face just happened to be in the way. "

 

[Keith&Co.]

Related story. Just now, someone on my game account on FB posted that "A rain drop on your cheek is a kiss from someone in heaven who watches over you."

I couldn't help but reply with, "A rain drop is water condensed in the clouds by molecules sticking together due to temperature changes and becoming heavier and therefore falling to the earth. Your face just happened to be in the way. "

Actually, the FB post makes sense. I've changed a flat tire in the rain. I got a LOT of raindrops on my cheek. I have a number of dead people in my life who are the sort of assholes to blow me about six hundred kisses while I'm kneeling in gravel, swearing profusely. "STILL thinking of you, Keith! <<SMAK!!>> Hahahahaha!"

That explains a lot, really. I keep getting older, I keep outliving my asshole relatives, hurricanes are on the rise... It's not climate change, it's those god-damned kisses!

 

[Jimmy Higgins]

Related story. Just now, someone on my game account on FB posted that "A rain drop on your cheek is a kiss from someone in heaven who watches over you."

And hail would be...?

 

[Angry Floof]

Related story. Just now, someone on my game account on FB posted that "A rain drop on your cheek is a kiss from someone in heaven who watches over you."

And hail would be...?