Grandpa: Whatcha got there, BH?
BH: I found this box under your bed, Grandpa. What is this stuff?
Grandma: You need to put that back, BH. Go put it back now.
Grandpa: No, let the boy look. He's old enough.
BH: So, what's this thing? It looks like an old-time letter.
Grandpa: That's our pardon, BH. It's from January the 20th of 2025, along about 40 years before you was born.
BH: Okay, this thing. It's just a piece of broken glass.
Grandma: Don't you drop that! That's from the west window, where your grandpa got into The People's House.
BH: What People?
Grandpa: The white people. The house is the Capitol. I came in through the window. Your grandma came in through the front door. We met in the main chamber. Love at first sight!!
BH: You were in the Capitol Riot???
Grandma: Who told you to say that?
BH: That's what my social studies teacher called it.
Grandma: What's her name?
BH: Mrs. Landis.
Grandma: You heard that, Seth? Write that down.
BH: What's going to happen to her?
Grandpa: Re-education. Soon.
BH: What are these? More letters?
Grandma: Those are more pardons, mine from 2027 and your grandpa's from 2029.
BH: From more riots?
Grandma: Mail theft.
Grandpa: Stalking.
BH: What's this? It looks like an old rag with paint stains.
Grandpa: Careful now. That's a piece of Ashli Babbitt's scarf. She's a martyr.
BH: Wait? Ashli Babbitt? Is that how come my name is Babbitt Hercules Brown?
Grandpa: It is, and be proud of it.
BH: Why Hercules?
Grandma: That's the mightiest hero in the Bible. Pulled the whole temple down, like Trump (crosses herself.)
BH: Why is there a rope in here?
Grandma: I was carrying it that day.
BH: But what did you do with it?
Grandma: Nothing, dammit.
BH: This picture...is that Grandpa? Is he taking a dump inside The People's House?
Grandpa: I was making some legitimate political discourse. Remember that.
BH: Ohhhkay.... I know this picture. It's Mount Trumpmore.
Grandma: We visited it the first winter after they blew Abe Lincoln off the mountain to make room for a genuine hero.
BH: What are all those curly things on his head?
Grandpa: Now, don't be sassy, BH. It was hard to get his hair just right, in the granite.
Grandma: And you can see how the icicles hanging off it make him look a little strange.
BH: He looks like a dumbbell.
Grandpa: BH!!! Watch your mouth!! (to Grandma) Check the window.
Grandma: Coast is clear. BH, we need to have a long sit-down with you.
BH (squirms) Can it be in a little while? I gotta...I gotta go make some legit-imate...po-litical...whatever Grandpa said. (Exits.)
