Shroud of Turin Is a Fake, Bloodstains Suggest

[T.G.G. Moogly]

My favorite medieval-relic story is of the bones of Saint Rosalia in a church in Palermo, Italy. When geologist and paleontologist William Buckland visited that church in 1825, he got a look at those bones, and he concluded that those were the bones of a goat.

Other religions have relics, like the Cloak of Kandahar and the Tooth of Kandy.

The Cloak of Kandahar, Afghanistan was supposedly worn by the prophet Mohammed.

The Tooth of Kandy, Sri Lanka, had supposedly belonged to the Buddha.

Perhaps Rosalia was a satyr.

Italians are famous for their patron saints. I've seen their rituals here at home and they're very entertaining.

 

[whollygoats]

My favorite medieval-relic story is of the bones of Saint Rosalia in a church in Palermo, Italy. When geologist and paleontologist William Buckland visited that church in 1825, he got a look at those bones, and he concluded that those were the bones of a goat.

Other religions have relics, like the Cloak of Kandahar and the Tooth of Kandy.

The Cloak of Kandahar, Afghanistan was supposedly worn by the prophet Mohammed.

The Tooth of Kandy, Sri Lanka, had supposedly belonged to the Buddha.

I was most amused about the seven foreskins of Jesus.

Hey....She said he was divine.

ETA: "Depending on what you read, there were eight, twelve, fourteen, or even 18 different holy foreskins in various European towns during the Middle Ages." ~David Farley, Slate.com, "Fore Shame", Tuesday, Dec. 19, 2006

 

[T.G.G. Moogly]

My favorite medieval-relic story is of the bones of Saint Rosalia in a church in Palermo, Italy. When geologist and paleontologist William Buckland visited that church in 1825, he got a look at those bones, and he concluded that those were the bones of a goat.

Other religions have relics, like the Cloak of Kandahar and the Tooth of Kandy.

The Cloak of Kandahar, Afghanistan was supposedly worn by the prophet Mohammed.

The Tooth of Kandy, Sri Lanka, had supposedly belonged to the Buddha.

I was most amused about the seven foreskins of Jesus.

Hey....She said he was divine.

ETA: "Depending on what you read, there were eight, twelve, fourteen, or even 18 different holy foreskins in various European towns during the Middle Ages." ~David Farley, Slate.com, "Fore Shame", Tuesday, Dec. 19, 2006

Clearly a case of mass foreskin envy.

 

[whollygoats]

Acute prepucuity.

 

[Koyaanisqatsi]

I am still open-minded about the Shroud of Turin because I don't think science (or scripture) has settled the question yet.

Scripture has nothing to do with it. So what about the science is still an open question for you?

 

[phands]

I am still open-minded about the Shroud of Turin because I don't think science (or scripture) has settled the question yet.

Scripture has nothing to do with it. So what about the science is still an open question for you?

The science is settled - every time the old rag has been looked at scientifically, it was shown to be complete bollocks.

Scripture (what a stupid word) has NEVER had an open mind., but even the babble draws ZERO connection between the purported bit of cloth the corpse was wrapped in (it can't even agree on how many pieces there were), and the piece of 10th century fraud in Turin. In other words, while the bumper book of evil mentions a cloth around a corpse, it makes NO statement about Turin, and thus there is no "scripture" involved here.

 

[Sarpedon]

And, as I enjoy pointing out, you don't need either science or scripture, only some knowledge of burial customs.

Tell me, what is the point of putting the corpse's hands over its own genitals, if you are going to wrap it in cloth anyway?

The only explanation for the position of the image's hands is that the artist drew it that way to avoid having to draw the holy wang.

 

[whollygoats]

And, as I enjoy pointing out, you don't need either science or scripture, only some knowledge of burial customs.

Tell me, what is the point of putting the corpse's hands over its own genitals, if you are going to wrap it in cloth anyway?

The only explanation for the position of the image's hands is that the artist drew it that way to avoid having to draw the holy wang.

Which you can certainly understand if the holy wang was believed to have produced multitudinous numbers of separated prepuces.

 

[OLDMAN]

Not to mention that no culture buries their dead with the corpse's hands covering its genitals.

This is not true. In Canada we bury all ex-hockey goalies that way...

 

[bilby]

Not to mention that no culture buries their dead with the corpse's hands covering its genitals.

This is not true. In Canada we bury all ex-hockey goalies that way...

That settles it then; The shroud must be genuine. For it is written - "Jesus Saves".

 

[phands]

Which you can certainly understand if the holy wang was believed to have produced multitudinous numbers of separated prepuces.

Maybe it was the holy snake, and shed it's skin periodically??

 

[T.G.G. Moogly]

Which you can certainly understand if the holy wang was believed to have produced multitudinous numbers of separated prepuces.

Maybe it was the holy snake, and shed it's skin periodically??

Perhaps there's a connection between the magic snake in the garden and Adam's wang. Perhaps the snake was in fact Adam's wang, the forbidden fruit that Eve gobbled up.

That would solve a glaring contradiction in the garden story because this perfect garden supposedly contained an evil snake, which doesn't make sense.

Adam would also become the tree from which Eve took the fruit.

Where's a loon like Joseph Smith when you really need one?

And what to make of Adam's testicles? questions...

 

[Koyaanisqatsi]

And what to make of Adam's testicles?

Those would obviously be the fruit of the tree of life.

 

[phands]

And what to make of Adam's testicles?

Those would obviously be the fruit of the tree of life.

For, I think, obvious reasons, that led my memory to Urban Dictionary and "Man Apples".....

man apples
Man apples are the round delicious fruit that hangs right behind the man's fat banana. In the Garden of Eden when Eve took a bite from the forbidden fruit, it wasn't a GOLDEN DELICIOUS she sank her gaping maw into but a big old ripe Man Apple. Man apples today are enjoyed by various people such as street whores, Junior High School girls and desperate wives. Have you had your man apple today?

 

[Jobar]

Not to mention that no culture buries their dead with the corpse's hands covering its genitals.

This is not true. In Canada we bury all ex-hockey goalies that way...

That settles it then; The shroud must be genuine. For it is written - "Jesus Saves".