For the OP - she paid high dollar for something she didn't get and it was a great risk for her, since she knew she couldn't give the kid back if something went wrong.
Something did, that wasn't her fault.
She's due compensation. A LOT.
So they should get a settlement because they didn't get a white baby, or because they got a black baby???
They should get a settlement because they were not given the sperm they were promised and that 'mix up' will cause a great deal of difficulties that they were not anticipating. Of course, parenthood is actually full of unanticipated difficulties, as well as unimagined joys and lots of routine stuff as well, both expected and unexpected. What makes this different is that the facility was careless and this family has to live with the racism of their extended families because of the facility's careless error.
BUT
They could live their lives with the child they tried so hard to conceive, and their families and community can learn something about love, family and acceptance or lose them all. My only concern is the child facing the fact that her parents didn't want a mixed race kid and that their family and community don't either. Sure, probably the parents were just trying to avoid as much trouble as they could, especially since they knew that there would already be challenges as theirs is a non-traditional family. And mostly, the trouble they were trying to avoid was trouble that would be foisted onto their child.
However, they were certainly willing to let their kid take all the licks that family and community could hand out for being the child of a lesbian couple. Maybe they felt more capable of dealing with that kind of prejudice, having lived with/through it themselves. Or maybe they just didn't mind that much making a kid help them grind their own particular axe, because let's face it: family and community that gets in an uproar over a mixed race child is not likely to be all that accepting of the child of a lesbian couple. Or maybe they are right: mixed race is just one too many hurdles to have to climb in their community, with their family.
My belief that the facility should have to pay for its mistake is because the facility made a serious mistake. How many other mistakes have they made? How many with serious health consequences? The settlement should be based upon that fact.
Parenthood is not an exact science and whatever you think you will be getting when you begin that process usually ends up to be very different in many ways from what you get. Maybe you were hoping for a musician and you get a kid who is tone deaf. Maybe you wanted an athlete and the kid has two left feet and can't throw. Maybe the kid has a form of intellectual delay that isn't generally tested for. Maybe the kid will fall on the autism spectrum. Or have a heart defect. Or be terribly messy when you are very orderly. Or the other way around. Maybe the kid will have many allergies to foods and you are a big foodie! Or will be terribly shy! Or allergic to cats! Or have a difficult temperament. Or an incredibly sweet one that is crushed by your sardonic wit.
Usually, the kid ends up reminding you uncomfortably of traits in some family member or yourself that you'd rather never have to deal with. Or didn't realize were so annoying until YOU have to be the one dealing with the persnickety behavior or trait.
Of course the kid also reminds you of how wonderful some other traits are and surprises you at how they are really their own person and not merely the summation of genetic traits donated by each genetic parent whose traits are similarly acquired, with a hairline or dimple as a trickle down trait.
Kids get sick, hurt, angry, have difficult traits and go through difficult stages. Sometimes they are sick or hurt in ways that cannot be easily fixed. Or even fixed with a great deal of difficulty and much more expense. There is heartbreak involved. And love. And laughter to go with tears. And you cannot predict or control it, not most of it anyway. You just have to accept it, learn to cope with it, over come some of it, live with it, learn from it. Love anyways.
There is no way that you will get everything you want from your kid or from your family, even if everybody's color and genders are conventionally assigned and allocated according to some imagined 'perfect.'
If that's what you think you are getting, do yourself a favor and raise goldfish instead.
