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The Impossiible Thing... that happened

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snoiduspoitus

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Joined
Apr 8, 2002
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Location
Minnesota
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We're on the golf course 13 years ago. Hole number seven... a long par five.

A guy is hitting his second shot on number two while we are all on the green waiting to putt.

Our four-some hears "Fore! Fore! Fore!" and we all bail out as the ball thuds onto our green, not number two green.

After the thud, we start to watch the ball drift down toward the hole. We begin to cheer the ball.

It trembles slowly downhill toward the hole. Closer, closer, closer and............. IN!

We let out a hell of a cheer, because it was simply unbelievable.

The poor guy was wreck when he came to retrieve his ball.

A one in ninety gajillion chance, and it happened before our very eyes.

What's your impossible thing?
 
snoiduspoitus said:
What's your impossible thing?
Click to expand...

Hitting the ball with a club that is moving forward and having the ball rocket backwards.

This happens more often than not, so perhaps "impossible" is not quite the right word....
 
The last thing we do before the submarine dives is to rig everything for sea. We bolt every panel down and tighten it and then whale on it with a rubber mallet, to make sure there's no rattle that will give away our position.

THey usually assign this job to a very junior officer and it's traditional to prank him a bit. The whole maneuvering watch, we tell him how mad the captain is going to be if our sonar picks up a rattle, so when he bangs on the cleat or the locker or the sound-powered-phone cover, he really needs to play HAMMER OF THOR on the thing. It's going to be his name on the 'rigged for dive' sheet, certifying that everything's properly stowed.

So, more than once, i've seen the officer take the mallet up to about satellite orbit, slam it down so hard he loses sensation in his hand. Once, i've seen the rubber mallet bounce back up and knock the Ensign unconscious. Funny as hell.

But one time, he slammed it down, hit it so hard he knocked it out of his own hand. It bounced into the air, flipped up over his shoulder, and ended up in my hands, a perfect landing.. Couldn't make that shot if we had four stuntmen and a physics professor to choreograph it...
 
snoiduspoitus said:
We're on the golf course 13 years ago. Hole number seven... a long par five.

A guy is hitting his second shot on number two while we are all on the green waiting to putt.

Our four-some hears "Fore! Fore! Fore!" and we all bail out as the ball thuds onto our green, not number two green.

After the thud, we start to watch the ball drift down toward the hole. We begin to cheer the ball.

It trembles slowly downhill toward the hole. Closer, closer, closer and............. IN!

We let out a hell of a cheer, because it was simply unbelievable.

The poor guy was wreck when he came to retrieve his ball.

A one in ninety gajillion chance, and it happened before our very eyes.

What's your impossible thing?
Click to expand...

I did that once, with my first shot, on the correct green. I've never even seen another one.
 
Keith&Co. said:
The last thing we do before the submarine dives is to rig everything for sea. We bolt every panel down and tighten it and then whale on it with a rubber mallet, to make sure there's no rattle that will give away our position.

THey usually assign this job to a very junior officer and it's traditional to prank him a bit. The whole maneuvering watch, we tell him how mad the captain is going to be if our sonar picks up a rattle, so when he bangs on the cleat or the locker or the sound-powered-phone cover, he really needs to play HAMMER OF THOR on the thing. It's going to be his name on the 'rigged for dive' sheet, certifying that everything's properly stowed.

So, more than once, i've seen the officer take the mallet up to about satellite orbit, slam it down so hard he loses sensation in his hand. Once, i've seen the rubber mallet bounce back up and knock the Ensign unconscious. Funny as hell.

But one time, he slammed it down, hit it so hard he knocked it out of his own hand. It bounced into the air, flipped up over his shoulder, and ended up in my hands, a perfect landing.. Couldn't make that shot if we had four stuntmen and a physics professor to choreograph it...
Click to expand...

I can almost picture that. Weird shit happens.
 
During high school, after gym class, the guys and I were in the locker room changing from gym shorts to our street clothes. Some doofus smuggled in a volleyball (against the rules) and was sitting on the bench bumping it up and down on his forearms. Not real hard, just two or three feet over his head, short of the ceiling by about a foot or so.

Meanwhile, a few feet away, I'm pulling on a collar knit shirt over my head, poking my arm through one of the sleeves. At the same time, doofus hits the volleyball just a touch too hard.

The volleyball hits the fluorescent light fixture, dislodging one of the five-foot-long light tubes, which falls toward the floor.

In a normal world, the light tube would shatter on the floor into a million shards. Doofus would tell the gym teacher later that it wasn't his fault and that he didn't do it, and everyone in the room would be punished.

Instead, with my head inside my shirt and my arm poking out the sleeve, the light tube fell into my open hand. I caught it, spared the light tube from certain destruction, and saved all of us from some minor punishment. I was the hero of gym class that day.
 
Folks,

I still can't believe that this impossible thing really happened, but ----Donald Trump has been elected as president of the United States of America. :pigsfly::pigsfly::pigsfly:

A.
 
In ancient days of yore when there were still LPs and Usenet, I'm listening to an old Steeleye Span album and reading rec.puzzles. The discussion turns to Bilbo and Gollum's riddle game from The Hobbit. After a few minutes, in perfect synchrony, the riddle "Thirty white horses on a red hill" scrolls onto the screen and plays out of the speakers.
 
Was driving down a road, talking to a friend. I don't remember the context, but I used the term "playing possum," which she was unfamiliar with. I explained the term, and the fact that threatened opossums will faint and 'play dead' as a defense mechanism. She was skeptical and said I was making it up.

Here's where it gets weird: I responded "OK, let me demonstrate," -- as an opossum had, at that precise moment, walked onto the road directly in front of my car. I stopped, got out, and started nudging the animal with my foot. If only it had fainted it would have been perfect, and I would have been vindicated, but apparently this was a Rambo 'possum, and it just growled, bit my foot and ambled back into the woods.

Embarrassing.
I told her that the only other time I'd encountered a wild opossum it had behaved properly and fainted, and that this must be an unusually bold beast.
She was not convinced. :eek:
 
Summer between 8th and 9th grade, while in a school in So Cal, I was turned loose in France.
Discovered the flea market in Paris, probably one of the biggest flea markets in the world and certainly by far the biggest most crowded one I'd ever seen.
Jostling through the shoulder-to-shoulder crowd, and ran smack into - my roommate from So Cal.
Still amazes me to this day.
 
Elixir said:
Summer between 8th and 9th grade, while in a school in So Cal, I was turned loose in France.
Discovered the flea market in Paris, probably one of the biggest flea markets in the world and certainly by far the biggest most crowded one I'd ever seen.
Jostling through the shoulder-to-shoulder crowd, and ran smack into - my roommate from So Cal.
Still amazes me to this day.
Click to expand...

Great flea market! :)
 
jonatha said:
snoiduspoitus said:
What's your impossible thing?
Click to expand...

Hitting the ball with a club that is moving forward and having the ball rocket backwards.

This happens more often than not, so perhaps "impossible" is not quite the right word....
Click to expand...

I've taught several people to swim over the years, but this one guy amazed me. I put him on a kick board so he could focus on his leg motion and not worry about his arms and staying solidly afloat... he began to kick.. and proceeded to move BACKWARDS in the pool. I've never seen that before... I was like, "how are you doing that"?? Of course he had no idea... I told him that he couldn't swim... he said that he knew and that was why he was with me.. so I clarified... I told him that he ANATOMICALLY could not swim.

I was just kidding around with him... his issue was he was kicking with his knees, instead of his hips... but like no one has ever done that around me before, so I was truly taken aback.. literally back... to the other end of the pool.
 
snoiduspoitus said:
Thomas II said:
Hole in one at the Portmarnock Golf Club, in Ireland. :) I know, not impossible, but still fun.
Click to expand...

Dirty rotten bastard.

I've never had one - especially not in Ireland.
Click to expand...

Never even seen one. Almost, though... it was about a 180 yard hole, and the "golfer" was like, 10 years old or something. Dirty rotten little bastard indeed! Heard all the yelling from a green adjacent to his tee box...
 
In this case it is best known as the dirty rotten little 'fucker' instead of the dirty rotten little 'bastard'.

Yeah I know I'm nitpicking but whatever.
 
My little miracle isn't nearly the equal of the epics told above, but I still savor it.
This is about 12 years ago -- driving my mother to an appointment and enduring the Dr. Laura show on the radio, because she loved it & hung on every word from Laura. (If you're getting my tone, I find Dr. Laura to be self-righteous, judgmental, and a total snooze.) Laura is on some rant about sexual permissiveness and she states something like, "This is the kind of behavior that has ravished our society." As she pauses for breath, I yell, "It's RAVAGED, you ignorant bitch!" On the next beat, Laura says, "Excuse me, it's ravaged." We laughed ourselves silly. My mother may have even come to respect my views a bit more, seeing as how I extracted a correction from Ms. Laura.
 
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