The New Trump Atlas

[ideologyhunter]

Gulf of Mexico..................Gulf of America
Denali...................................Mount McKinley
Greenland...........................Double New Hampshire
Panama Canal....................Conduit Melania (Inaugural entrance: USS Seamen Carrier Donald T -- may need towing)
Scranton, PA.......................Joeschmoton
Butler, PA..............................New Resurrection
Florida....................................Greater Palmer Headland
New Mexico........................Neverwasmexico

Manley Hot Springs AK/ Three Way AZ/ Weiner AR/ Toad Suck AR/ Fort Dick CA/ Boneville GA/ Butts GA/ Climax GA/ Cumming GA/ Honaunau Napoopoo HI/ Dickshooter ID/ Slickpoo ID/ Kickapoo IL/ Floyds Knobs IN/ Licking IN/ Sac City IA/ Bald Knob KY/ Beaver Lick KY/ Broad Bottom KY/ Knob Lick KY/ Sugar Tit KY/ Cockeysville MD/ Loveville MD/ Felchville MA/ Colon MI/ Dick MI/ Remer MN/ Leakesville MS/ Cooter MO/ Effingham NH/ Buttzville NJ/ Ramtown NJ/ Butternuts NY/ Coxsackie NY/ Blowing Rock NC/ Roughhedge NC/ Stumpy Point NC/ Knockemstiff OH/ Pee Pee Creek OH/ Hooker OK/ Pump Back OK/ Big Beaver PA/ Hop Bottom PA/ Intercourse PA/ Virginville PA/ Fingerville SC/ Bonesteel ND/ Ballplay TN/ Guys TN/ Sweet Lips TN/ Wartburg TN/ Bangs TX/ Ding Dong TX/ Latex TX/ Leaky TX/ Bumpass VA/ Short Pump VA/ Baring WA/ Big Bottom WA/ Packwood WA/ Cougar Valley WV/ Cucumber WV/ Droop WV/ Longpole WV/ Organ Cave WV/ Spread Eagle WI/ Tainter WI/ Meeteetse WY/ Ten Sleep WY
..................................................NO CHANGE (snicker).

The Transvaal................The Cisvaal
Haiti..................................Shithole
Africa, generally...........Shithole 1, 2, 3, etc.
Yosemite..........................Yo, Semite!, the way everyone always pronounced it, forever
Thailand...........................Thighland

 

[southernhybrid]

I grew up in a town in New Jersey named Bloomfield. Will the name be changed to Boobfield? We already refer to Atlanta as Hotlanta. The felon probably likes that one.

 

[ideologyhunter]

On the long list, I've been to Weiner, Kickapoo, Floyds Knobs, Knockemstiff, Pee Pee Creek, and Intercourse (multiple times; can't tell you how often I've snacked in Intercourse.)

 

[Patooka]

 

[Elixir]

 

[ideologyhunter]

U.N. Resolution S/RES/2795 February 11, 2025
Submitted by: Reconciliation Commission and World Sanity Initiative
Adopted by General Assembly, USA abstaining

Preamble: 20 days of this shit???
Recommended Operations:
1. Send UN peace keeping mission to determine location of state spigot in Florida. Once located, open the thing and discharge 2 billion gallons of beautiful water onto golf course in West Palm Beach.
2. Set aside the remaining Trump Org golf courses (9 in U.S., 2 in Ireland, 1 in Scotland) as the beautiful new Palestinian homeland; right of refusal to Palestinian people.
3. Rename Gulf of Mexico according to the preponderance of economic activity associated with this waterway. New name: Gulf of Cartels.
4. Mediate Greenland's claim to New England as buffer state in response to threats coming from the west.
5. Mediate Mexico's claim to CA, NV, UT, AZ, NM, CO, and parts of WY, OK, and KS.
6. Mediate Russia's claim to Alaska so that Sarah Palin can really see...etc.
7. Compel payment of sales tax due on Louisiana Purchase (1803), along with compounded interest from 222 years.
8. Send the Baby Trump blimp on world tour of all national capitals and moor it alongside the Mount Rushmore carvings -- may be shot down by Boy Scouts with b-b guns after four years.
9. Panama Canal to be renamed Double Panama Canal.
10. See if footage exists of Trump and the two whores in the Moscow Ritz Carlton; nominate any footage for preservation by National Film Registry as "culturally significant chuckle."

 

[ZiprHead]

10. See if footage exists of Trump and the two whores in the Moscow Ritz Carlton; nominate any footage for preservation by National Film Registry as "culturally significant chuckle."

And have it run on a loop at the Kennedy center.