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The News in a Note

Intense investigation resulting in cross-state arrest of CEO shooter hopes to bring closure in trying time for City that suffered its first apparent homicide in 11 years.
 
Passing of President Carter helping America prepare for upcoming passings of America's lesser and worse Presidents.
 
Las Vegas Trump Hotel explosion investigation hits wall as apparently it isn't against the state law to detonate a truck full of fireworks and gasoline. (<-- this would work better for Texas)
 
REUTERS:
Leon Musk has tapped career fraudster Donald Trump to serve as figurehead in his incoming administration.
Mr. Trump, due his broad ignorance and incompetence, will be tasked with supplying an endless stream of distracting falsehoods to divert attention from the wholesale looting of the American government planned by the Musk administration.

"Of course Mr. Trump will be well compensated for his service as figurehead, and will continue to enjoy immunity from criminal acts as provided by the recent Supreme Court ruling he purchased through intermediaries Wayne Huizenga and Harlan Crow" President elect Musk's foot servant disclosed.
Click to expand...
 
Denmark counter-offers in Greenland proposal by Trump with offer to buy the United States. Denmark Government indicates "the vast natural resources of the United States would be a valuable asset to our nation".
 
Jimmy Higgins said:
Denmark counter-offers in Greenland proposal by Trump with offer to buy the United States. Denmark Government indicates "the vast natural resources of the United States would be a valuable asset to our nation".
Click to expand...
Trump himself sez the US is a shithole. Should be an even trade for the northern half of Greenland.
 
President Biden announced a national day of mourning for this Thursday. Postal service will generally be unavailable, most Federal offices will be closed, and the state of Georgia will be closed and draped over with a very large black veil.
 
House Speaker suffers from mental setback, while bragging about fast acceptance of the 2024 election results, when he was one of the people who obstructed it in 2020. Doctors uncertain if House Speaker will ever be able to mentally recover.

 
In mix up, US Government accidentally sends California $1.4 billion worth of offensive ground to air missiles to help with the consequences of the record wildfire in LA.
 
With Trump being sworn in again, even after inciting a riot during the official settling of the 2020 election, Liberals across America popping antacids like they are candy and are eyeing the Zanax.
 
In reflexive reaction, newly named acting Attorney General James McHenry hires new legal counsel.
 
Shares in Mexico Labor Transit, a smuggling firm out of Eastern Mexico with offices across Central America, skyrocketed as illegal immigration the "old fashioned way" is expected to make a huge comeback.
 
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Trauma specialists fear the worst as Trump expected to speak to the families of those killed in DC mid-air collision.
 
President Trump projects uncertainty with Daylight Savings this Sunday. "The clocks could go forward, they could go backward, maybe they'll stay the same, maybe it won't be an hour at all, maybe just 24 minutes. We'll just have to wait and see."
 
Stock Market goes up today because it went down for a number of days in a row.
 
Citing how low the user base is, Trump Admin NSA Michael Walz defends using Truth Social for discussing national security issues, planning, and military attacks.
 
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