The Onion Acquires InfoWars!

[Toni]

At Long Last, InfoWars Is Ours

Let me tell you a story. When I was a child, I suffered from night terrors. It was always the same dream: I could hear my family and neighbors wailing in the street outside as they were pursued and then destroyed by a nameless malevolent force, something neither I nor anyone else could control...

theonion.com

Or rather, they are leasing it for 6 months with the option to renew….