Keith&Co.
Contributor
- Joined
- Mar 31, 2006
- Messages
- 22,444
- Location
- Far Western Mass
- Gender
- Here.
- Basic Beliefs
- I'm here...
Human
1. Immediate (patient need for care to save their life is so great that this wound may be mentioned in another episode)
2. Delayed (patient needs care to save life, but will be completely recovered by the next episode)
3. Minor (patient needs care to save life, but will be completely recovered by the next commercial break)
4. Dead (contract negotiations terminated)
Ferengi
1. Cash (immediate profit)
2. Valuables (Profit after fencing)
3. Credit (profit delayed for paperwork)
4. Organ Donor (profit through the sale of organs)
Klingon
1. Ambulatory (likely to chase you down if you move to new patient)
2. Armed (likely to shoot you if you move to new patient)
3. Dead (Immediate death rites necessary)
4. Honored (patient is busy making sure the wound leaves an impressive scar. Hand him a scalpel and a mirror and move on)
Vulcan
1. Stoicism complaint (wound threatens patient’s ability to maintain a straight face and strangle own screams)
2. Neurological complaint (problem threatens patient’s intellect)
3. Vocal complaint (problem threatens patient’s ability to describe his superiority to human intellect)
4. Coiffure complaint (hair or dress does not meet the Vulcan Science Academy Dress Code)
Hologram
1. Memory Loss (permanent damage to holo-personality)
2. Power Loss (temporary discontinuity of holo-personality)
3. Copyright Infringement (Holopersonality showing up in Ferengi commercials
4. Blue Cloud of Death
Packled
1. Cannibalization Emergency (condition may make bodily organs unsuitable for transfer to more valuable patients)
2. Major (patient can be saved if no other patients in ER or waiting room, and no other pressing duties such as a barber appointment)
3. Minor (patient can be saved with little to no need of exertion by medical staff. Throw them a roll of gauze and move on)
4. Brain Dead (generally marked ‘preexisting condition’ on charts)
1. Immediate (patient need for care to save their life is so great that this wound may be mentioned in another episode)
2. Delayed (patient needs care to save life, but will be completely recovered by the next episode)
3. Minor (patient needs care to save life, but will be completely recovered by the next commercial break)
4. Dead (contract negotiations terminated)
Ferengi
1. Cash (immediate profit)
2. Valuables (Profit after fencing)
3. Credit (profit delayed for paperwork)
4. Organ Donor (profit through the sale of organs)
Klingon
1. Ambulatory (likely to chase you down if you move to new patient)
2. Armed (likely to shoot you if you move to new patient)
3. Dead (Immediate death rites necessary)
4. Honored (patient is busy making sure the wound leaves an impressive scar. Hand him a scalpel and a mirror and move on)
Vulcan
1. Stoicism complaint (wound threatens patient’s ability to maintain a straight face and strangle own screams)
2. Neurological complaint (problem threatens patient’s intellect)
3. Vocal complaint (problem threatens patient’s ability to describe his superiority to human intellect)
4. Coiffure complaint (hair or dress does not meet the Vulcan Science Academy Dress Code)
Hologram
1. Memory Loss (permanent damage to holo-personality)
2. Power Loss (temporary discontinuity of holo-personality)
3. Copyright Infringement (Holopersonality showing up in Ferengi commercials
4. Blue Cloud of Death
Packled
1. Cannibalization Emergency (condition may make bodily organs unsuitable for transfer to more valuable patients)
2. Major (patient can be saved if no other patients in ER or waiting room, and no other pressing duties such as a barber appointment)
3. Minor (patient can be saved with little to no need of exertion by medical staff. Throw them a roll of gauze and move on)
4. Brain Dead (generally marked ‘preexisting condition’ on charts)