Keith&Co.
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FOX host and journalist television personality Tucker Carlson experienced a satori, a Buddhist term for 'a sudden enlightenment,' today.
He and his crew were meeting with a group of young, white professionals, trying to convince them of the dangers of 'The Great Replacement.' This theory holds that white Americans (called 'Heritage Americans' by theorists) are suffering from depressed birth rates, while hordes of immigrants flock to the US, in an intentional bid to make white people a minority 'in their own country.'
He and a few expert guests were trying to encourage the audience members to 'get on with it, and get it on,' marrying white and reproducing white children.
Several members of the audience complained that in the current economy, there's no benefit to having kids, and no way to feel confident you can give a child the life they would deserve.
Someone needs to watch the child at all times, they pointed out, but none of them had a job that paid enough for one parent to be stay-at-home, and still afford to HAVE that home. They only choice, then, was child care, which took away most of the benefits of a second salary. Adding the cost of gas, car payments, insurance, and the second worker was making them poorer for having a job.
Carlson suddenly stopped moving on the stage, frozen in a pose of expectant waiting. His expression was that one of his, like he's trying to remember if the red ON AIR light on the camera means DO or DO NOT talk.
But he was actually looking at a guest. "What if the city, your city, had mass transit?" he asked the man.
"They do, from six AM to 9 PM. But i work the mid shift, so i either go in four hours early-"
"No, no. Decent transit. Twenty-four-hour shit. With a scedule so regular you never even have to check, you just know a bus is coming. That help?"
"Yeah, i guess. But what-"
But Tucker had already turned to a young woman. "And, what, what if the government helped YOU out on child care?"
"I'm a lesbian, you should ask the guy who said 'childcare' out loud."
He followed her pointing finger and turned to the man next to her. "Child care. Regulated, or subsidized, or discount coupons printed up by the US mint, whatever that takes. Help?"
"Yeah, long as it doesn't make-"
"And all of you! Would you marry, and have white babies, if minimum wage kept up with inflation? If you could afford to own a home, a car, and still save for their college? OH!" he shouted, adopting his too-shrewd-for-critics expression (see 'red light' question, but happy), "What if COLLEGE was FREE?"
"I already graduated!" someone complained.
"It's not about you," Carlson snapped, "this is about whether or not we have taco trucks on every street corner." He began pacing, mapping out the infrastructure improvements as he thought up the need.
Uncomfortable racist guests muttered about Marxism, socialism, or Cross Dressing Story Time, as appropriate to the theme they were invited to push, and slipped off the stage.
Formality and order broke down and young Amrricans swarmed the stage. They hung on Tucker's every word, offering suggested improvements, and asking a lot of questions about the taco trucks. Really. Man, they would just not shut the fuck up about the taco trucks.
Must not have gotten their avocado toast that day.
He and his crew were meeting with a group of young, white professionals, trying to convince them of the dangers of 'The Great Replacement.' This theory holds that white Americans (called 'Heritage Americans' by theorists) are suffering from depressed birth rates, while hordes of immigrants flock to the US, in an intentional bid to make white people a minority 'in their own country.'
He and a few expert guests were trying to encourage the audience members to 'get on with it, and get it on,' marrying white and reproducing white children.
Several members of the audience complained that in the current economy, there's no benefit to having kids, and no way to feel confident you can give a child the life they would deserve.
Someone needs to watch the child at all times, they pointed out, but none of them had a job that paid enough for one parent to be stay-at-home, and still afford to HAVE that home. They only choice, then, was child care, which took away most of the benefits of a second salary. Adding the cost of gas, car payments, insurance, and the second worker was making them poorer for having a job.
Carlson suddenly stopped moving on the stage, frozen in a pose of expectant waiting. His expression was that one of his, like he's trying to remember if the red ON AIR light on the camera means DO or DO NOT talk.
But he was actually looking at a guest. "What if the city, your city, had mass transit?" he asked the man.
"They do, from six AM to 9 PM. But i work the mid shift, so i either go in four hours early-"
"No, no. Decent transit. Twenty-four-hour shit. With a scedule so regular you never even have to check, you just know a bus is coming. That help?"
"Yeah, i guess. But what-"
But Tucker had already turned to a young woman. "And, what, what if the government helped YOU out on child care?"
"I'm a lesbian, you should ask the guy who said 'childcare' out loud."
He followed her pointing finger and turned to the man next to her. "Child care. Regulated, or subsidized, or discount coupons printed up by the US mint, whatever that takes. Help?"
"Yeah, long as it doesn't make-"
"And all of you! Would you marry, and have white babies, if minimum wage kept up with inflation? If you could afford to own a home, a car, and still save for their college? OH!" he shouted, adopting his too-shrewd-for-critics expression (see 'red light' question, but happy), "What if COLLEGE was FREE?"
"I already graduated!" someone complained.
"It's not about you," Carlson snapped, "this is about whether or not we have taco trucks on every street corner." He began pacing, mapping out the infrastructure improvements as he thought up the need.
Uncomfortable racist guests muttered about Marxism, socialism, or Cross Dressing Story Time, as appropriate to the theme they were invited to push, and slipped off the stage.
Formality and order broke down and young Amrricans swarmed the stage. They hung on Tucker's every word, offering suggested improvements, and asking a lot of questions about the taco trucks. Really. Man, they would just not shut the fuck up about the taco trucks.
Must not have gotten their avocado toast that day.
