ideologyhunter
Contributor
A video satirist named Vic Berger has assembled several videos taken from episodes of The Jim Bakker Show that aired in the past five years. They are addictive in their insanity. He has added music and limited sound effects and edited the episodes down to the wackiest minutes, but you'll be listening to Bakker's actual words. Way back in the day, I used to watch Jim and Tammy's PTL Club show before heading to work in the morning. I could always count on the two of them to babble absolutely crazy things. Tammy would get worked up and cry, or she'd warble a contemporary gospel tune. Jim would work the crowd with his boyish enthusiasm, crowing about the latest construction project at Heritage USA. These days, post-Heritage, post-Tammy, and post-prison, Jim is still on the air, having bought the PTL network name and trademark. He's got a new wife, Lori, who co-hosts his show. If you thought Tammy was a silly chatterbox, Lori has achieved an even deeper level of mindlessness. Her mantra is "Wow!" and "I love that!" as 85-year-old Jim talks gibberish at the audience.
YouTube has quite a few of these videos, and they are easy to find. I will not attach them to this post for several reasons, one being that you really should watch them and then scroll through the comment section on YouTube. There are fans of these vids who post devastating comments, and they are often funnier than Jim and Lori's antics.
A recurring theme in the JB Show is the end times. Bakker wants to sell you giant buckets of survival food for your bunker. The camera lingers on multi-gallon buckets of soup, pudding, pancake batter, and so on. It gets sickening. You'll wonder how many suckers have sent in gifts of $1600 or $2000 to get stacks of these buckets delivered to their houses (expiration date on some of the yummies: 2035.) If you actually make 44 gallons of cheesy rice, which Bakker shows you in the funniest vid, how in hell are you going to save the leftovers? How many meals of cheesy rice will you scarf down before you pray for Satan to take you?
Here are mini-reviews of the videos I've watched so far.
Vic Berger Presents: TV Pastor Jim Bakker Wants You to Think He Can Cure Coronavirus (7 min.)
This one must date from spring 2020. It features an intro from Mike Lindell, always a sign that the honoree is a good man. Bakker tells you that covid is the last of the four horsemen of the Apocalypse, that the end times are approaching, and that you need buckets of his soup (it looks like a vat of library paste.) He brings on a nutty woman who promotes Silver Solution, which she says will stop covid in its tracks. (Bakker would soon be pursued by the FTC, FDA, and several state attorneys general to cease and desist promoting Silver Solution.)
Pastor Jim Bakker Helps You Stay Alive During the Apocalypse (4 min.)
This one has the "BASTA!!" Lady, who screams "BASTA!" ("Enough!") at Satan. JIm joins in, and the audience applauds. Jim and Lori ask you to pray for Trump, which Lori says just means Good vs. Evil. More with the buckets.
Vic Berger Presents Jim Bakker Had a Dream About Young People (3 min.)
Jim tells about a dream in which he saw young people crying. He interprets this as, guess what, a sign of the end times. If you're into drinking games, have a shot every time Lori repeats, "He saw young people...crying!" She reads from a little slip of paper that she says the production team prepared for her, but all it says is, "He had a dream, or vision, and he saw young people crying!"
Vic Berger Presents Jim Bakker's Buckets (6 min.)
The classic. Unbeatable. Jim's stage crew cook a vat of 22 gallons of rice, and Jim sticks his hand into it, grabs a big handful of rice, and starts eating it like a hungry dog. He gets one of the crew to stir the rice with a shovel, after Jim hold the shovel up and says, "This is what you'll dig your latrine with!" They bring in a second vat of cheese sauce with "one hundred percent real brocolli" (one of the posted comments says, "My broccoli is only 50% real...") and they stir the cheese with the shovel. JIm tells you that it's 22 gallons of cheese sauce, and like a circus ringmaster he hollers, "Now pour it INTO THE RICE...INTO THE RICE!" and you watch 22 gallons of cheesy goo plop into 22 gallons of hot rice. Jim tells you that you now have 44 gallons of food. Try to keep your lunch down as you watch.
Pastor Jim Bakker Knows What to Do with Your Doodoo (7 min.)
Bakker must have scat fantasies, as he seems to obsess over sanitation during the Apocalypse. There's more with the buckets, and JB tells you that the empty buckets can be used as porta-johns. Warming to his subject, he walks out into the audience, crowing that he is the only pastor who actually teaches about "peepee and doodoo". He bellows, "WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO WITH THE DOODOO?" but doesn't, at least in this video, spell out the answer. I really wanted to know what his vision was.
The Absolute Very Best of Jim Bakker (38 min.)
Highlights from apparently all of Vic's Bakker videos. If your time is limited for YouTube surfing, start with the Jim Bakker's Buckets video and then perhaps watch this one for the big picture. Bakker is a mostly washed-up old grifter, but he's holding on to his small audience and milking the end times for all he's worth. Clueless Lori is loyal to her man. They deserve each other.
Have your credit card handy, because if you're like me, I know you'll want to get your own stack of jumbo buckets of cheesy sauce, potato soup, pancake batter, etc.
YouTube has quite a few of these videos, and they are easy to find. I will not attach them to this post for several reasons, one being that you really should watch them and then scroll through the comment section on YouTube. There are fans of these vids who post devastating comments, and they are often funnier than Jim and Lori's antics.
A recurring theme in the JB Show is the end times. Bakker wants to sell you giant buckets of survival food for your bunker. The camera lingers on multi-gallon buckets of soup, pudding, pancake batter, and so on. It gets sickening. You'll wonder how many suckers have sent in gifts of $1600 or $2000 to get stacks of these buckets delivered to their houses (expiration date on some of the yummies: 2035.) If you actually make 44 gallons of cheesy rice, which Bakker shows you in the funniest vid, how in hell are you going to save the leftovers? How many meals of cheesy rice will you scarf down before you pray for Satan to take you?
Here are mini-reviews of the videos I've watched so far.
Vic Berger Presents: TV Pastor Jim Bakker Wants You to Think He Can Cure Coronavirus (7 min.)
This one must date from spring 2020. It features an intro from Mike Lindell, always a sign that the honoree is a good man. Bakker tells you that covid is the last of the four horsemen of the Apocalypse, that the end times are approaching, and that you need buckets of his soup (it looks like a vat of library paste.) He brings on a nutty woman who promotes Silver Solution, which she says will stop covid in its tracks. (Bakker would soon be pursued by the FTC, FDA, and several state attorneys general to cease and desist promoting Silver Solution.)
Pastor Jim Bakker Helps You Stay Alive During the Apocalypse (4 min.)
This one has the "BASTA!!" Lady, who screams "BASTA!" ("Enough!") at Satan. JIm joins in, and the audience applauds. Jim and Lori ask you to pray for Trump, which Lori says just means Good vs. Evil. More with the buckets.
Vic Berger Presents Jim Bakker Had a Dream About Young People (3 min.)
Jim tells about a dream in which he saw young people crying. He interprets this as, guess what, a sign of the end times. If you're into drinking games, have a shot every time Lori repeats, "He saw young people...crying!" She reads from a little slip of paper that she says the production team prepared for her, but all it says is, "He had a dream, or vision, and he saw young people crying!"
Vic Berger Presents Jim Bakker's Buckets (6 min.)
The classic. Unbeatable. Jim's stage crew cook a vat of 22 gallons of rice, and Jim sticks his hand into it, grabs a big handful of rice, and starts eating it like a hungry dog. He gets one of the crew to stir the rice with a shovel, after Jim hold the shovel up and says, "This is what you'll dig your latrine with!" They bring in a second vat of cheese sauce with "one hundred percent real brocolli" (one of the posted comments says, "My broccoli is only 50% real...") and they stir the cheese with the shovel. JIm tells you that it's 22 gallons of cheese sauce, and like a circus ringmaster he hollers, "Now pour it INTO THE RICE...INTO THE RICE!" and you watch 22 gallons of cheesy goo plop into 22 gallons of hot rice. Jim tells you that you now have 44 gallons of food. Try to keep your lunch down as you watch.
Pastor Jim Bakker Knows What to Do with Your Doodoo (7 min.)
Bakker must have scat fantasies, as he seems to obsess over sanitation during the Apocalypse. There's more with the buckets, and JB tells you that the empty buckets can be used as porta-johns. Warming to his subject, he walks out into the audience, crowing that he is the only pastor who actually teaches about "peepee and doodoo". He bellows, "WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO WITH THE DOODOO?" but doesn't, at least in this video, spell out the answer. I really wanted to know what his vision was.
The Absolute Very Best of Jim Bakker (38 min.)
Highlights from apparently all of Vic's Bakker videos. If your time is limited for YouTube surfing, start with the Jim Bakker's Buckets video and then perhaps watch this one for the big picture. Bakker is a mostly washed-up old grifter, but he's holding on to his small audience and milking the end times for all he's worth. Clueless Lori is loyal to her man. They deserve each other.
Have your credit card handy, because if you're like me, I know you'll want to get your own stack of jumbo buckets of cheesy sauce, potato soup, pancake batter, etc.
