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Your Princess Is in Another Castle: Misogyny, Entitlement, and Nerds
- Thread starter beero1000
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Yes, it's clearly a deliberate act of rape and Lewis should be in prison and entire Lamda Lamda Lamda fraternity should be expelled for sexual harassment.
Similarly, Dirty Harry needs to be thrown off the police force and jailed for murder. There's about 10 different things in every episode of 24 that Jack Bauer should be arrested for. Tony Stark should be charged for illegally entering a war zone, killing a bunch of people and then destroying a fighter jet that was engaged in a lawful mission.
They're movies. If you read that much into them, you're watching them wrong.
Similarly, Dirty Harry needs to be thrown off the police force and jailed for murder. There's about 10 different things in every episode of 24 that Jack Bauer should be arrested for. Tony Stark should be charged for illegally entering a war zone, killing a bunch of people and then destroying a fighter jet that was engaged in a lawful mission.
They're movies. If you read that much into them, you're watching them wrong.
No Tom, you just don't get it. All movies should adhere to SJW standards of purity.
eta: otoh I bet these guys are fun at parties
Additionally, was there any action which Palpatine took that was outside of the expanded powers granted to him by the democractically elected leaders of the Republic? Is it really appropriate for us to be cheering for a bunch of traitors who were rebelling against him?
thebeave
Contributor
Yeah, how did we get to a point where the rape of a woman is the ultimate heinous act of mankind? Reminds me of Tipper Gore getting her panties in a wad about a rape scene in the Grand Theft Auto video game. Meanwhile, guys get killed left and right in the game and there's not a peep about that.
beero1000
Veteran Member
I have to ask: did any of you actually read the article?
Of course, I wouldn't want relevance to get in the way of fulfilling your snark quotas, I was just wondering.
Of course, I wouldn't want relevance to get in the way of fulfilling your snark quotas, I was just wondering.
lol no
The article describes someone like me, albeit at 17, not 27 years old.
I disagree with Chu about the causes of this behaviour. It was never about entitlement or hatred of women for me: I was just woefully ignorant about girls, and about people in general for that matter.
Had someone taught me the basics of intimate relationships, and the path to personal happiness, my behaviour would have been vastly different and both myself and the people around me could have benefitted.
Nerd boys don't need need more adults telling them what they can't or shouldn't do. Those boys need people providing POSITIVE role models, and providing them with useful knowledge and guidance instead of utter bullshit.
I disagree with Chu about the causes of this behaviour. It was never about entitlement or hatred of women for me: I was just woefully ignorant about girls, and about people in general for that matter.
Had someone taught me the basics of intimate relationships, and the path to personal happiness, my behaviour would have been vastly different and both myself and the people around me could have benefitted.
Nerd boys don't need need more adults telling them what they can't or shouldn't do. Those boys need people providing POSITIVE role models, and providing them with useful knowledge and guidance instead of utter bullshit.
I have a confession . . . I am a nerd.
I also have a wife most people would consider pretty hot. How did this happen? Well, when I was in my early 20s we worked in the same place. I found out my best friend's mom was going to try to set her and my best friend up for a date. As soon as I heard that I was galvanized into action and ran upstairs and asked her out first because I had liked her from afar way before my BF had ever seen her.
She said yes and we've now been married for going on 24 years with three grown children.
The only thing holding nerds back from getting to be with women is that they tend to say no to themselves for the girl without giving her the chance to make the decision for herself. They/we probably do that because in our own heads we think there is no possible way a girl like that would ever be interested in us. I blame a lot of that on society and how the friendzoned nerd guy meme is narrative society has about nerds and women.
Give the girl the chance to make her own decision and she just might surprise you.
I also have a wife most people would consider pretty hot. How did this happen? Well, when I was in my early 20s we worked in the same place. I found out my best friend's mom was going to try to set her and my best friend up for a date. As soon as I heard that I was galvanized into action and ran upstairs and asked her out first because I had liked her from afar way before my BF had ever seen her.
She said yes and we've now been married for going on 24 years with three grown children.
The only thing holding nerds back from getting to be with women is that they tend to say no to themselves for the girl without giving her the chance to make the decision for herself. They/we probably do that because in our own heads we think there is no possible way a girl like that would ever be interested in us. I blame a lot of that on society and how the friendzoned nerd guy meme is narrative society has about nerds and women.
Give the girl the chance to make her own decision and she just might surprise you.
Celldweller
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The ultimate "nerd" win was this guy, Cochran, who walked with a million bucks from the show Survivor. Sorry for the additional thread de-rail.
That is definitely a mistake that nerds make.
The secret is that it ultimately doesn't matter what the girl says. If she likes you back and you live happily ever after, cool; but if she doesn't like you back, then that's cool too, because there are plenty more girls out there. The only shame is the time and energy one wastes by avoiding potential rejection.
Many nerd boys pine after girls who are not actually interested in them. It is pathological, needy behaviour on behalf of the boys that prevents them from getting on with the business of meeting other lovely girls. No matter how wonderful a boy may think a girl is, chances are that he could feel the same way about dozens of other girls and therefore it serves no purpose to obsess over her.
Celldweller
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First of all, you certainly don't need to "confess" to being a nerd - implying something you are ashamed of or secretive about. Secondly, hats off to you and your family for being married for 24 years, that's impressive (to me) no matter who you are!
I understand the picture you're painting here - I think there's such a broad stereotype of who a "nerd" is and what that stereotype implies. The backbone for courtship, as you described, really does come down to self-confidence and how successfully that trait is fostered from a young age. For example, I grew up 50% jock, 50% nerd, so to speak. I was a hockey player from a young age through college. There were MANY "nerds" on my various teams who, if you only saw them athletically would think, these guys must be getting laid all the time (physically imposing, athletically gifted) but off the ice their demeanor would easily be mistaken for social-awkwardness (many were bookworms, gamers, listened to music that wasn't considered "cool" by the in-crowd).
On the same token there were plenty of "nerdy" girls who were strikingly attractive - but did they land the hottest guys in school? No. Again, typically due to the self-confidence issue (which really becomes tested during those formidable high-school years). Self-confidence and the ability to handle rejection without giving up is a skill learned through trial-and-error and encouragement from peers/parents. The prime example of friends projecting their own lack of confidence is heard as, "Oh, dude, you'll NEVER have a shot at her!" When enough of society tells you you can't achieve something, the more it becomes programmed in young people's minds.
Come to think of it, that would have been an influence on my formative years. My high-school and uni friends were as insecure as me; no-one ever offered encouragement or belief, just sympathy and pity. However in the adult world I befriended older men who rooted for each other and pumped up my self-esteem.
I will never forget one time when a thirtysomething mate said to me "hey, that cutie over there just checked out your arse! I reckon she wants to show you her pink bits!" with complete and utter sincerity, and then sat there and waited for me to go and talk to her, like it was the obvious and normal thing to do. At the time, I thought he was insane.
Shadowy Man
Contributor
I wonder how much of this could be related to a similar "entitlement" issue that a lot of other men have, but the 'nerds' just don't have the confidence to act on it. The best way to meet people and have good relationships is to not think you 'deserve' or are 'owed' these people and these relationships.
I don't see how you can interpret it as entitlement.
I for one certainly never believed girls owed me anything, or that I deserved to possess them. But I still built up impossible fantasies about individual girls and became needy and obsessive.
Shadowy Man
Contributor
I'm not saying that this holds for all 'nerds', but I have often encountered the attitude from some of them that they are unhappy that other men are getting the girls and they are not, as if it is something that they do deserve, instead of focusing on who they themselves are and what they might want from a relationship. It is one thing to fantasize about an individual girl and another to think that you should be getting *a* girl.
Jimmy Higgins
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I think it is also a possible frustration. The girl goes with the cute jackass instead of with the nice geek. The geek thinks, I'm not a jerk, why the fuck do they go for the jackasses?!
Honestly, women would be so much better off if they aimed a little bit below their standards. And men too. And elephants!