I was never able to completely shake my religious indoctrination. God evidently still lurks in my psyche.
		
		
	 
Thanks for admitting that US. That says it all to me. You have a problem ridding yourself of the god belief. Fine. I'm sorry that you have this problem, but please stop projecting it on all atheists. Sure, there probably are some other atheists who still have doubts regarding the possibility of the existence of god and if they were severely indoctrinated like I assume you were and like I was, they might have some fear or even anger regarding gods. I suspect that the anger may be related to having resentment for being indoctrinated into believing some horrific things, like the things that the so called god of the OT did. I'm over that. I've forgiven my late parents for the horrible indoctrination because I saw them as victims of it too. it did cause me some emotional damage as a child, but I'm long over it now, as an older adult.  There are some atheists, known as weak or agnostic atheists. They don't believe that any of the known gods are real, but they say they haven't ruled out the possibility that some god, that hasn't been discovered yet, is out there in the universe.
I'm a strong atheist. To me, god is just like any other fictional character that has supernatural powers, including Superman.   

  God is an ancient invention, often created in the image of humans, with all of the positive and negative qualities of humans as a species. But, that's all god is, just something that lives in the brains of a lot of humans. God is an imaginary friend to many and that figment of their imagination probably helps some cope. I know some people like that, including a sweet friend who has lots of problems, but never complains. I think her religious beliefs provide her with community, and purpose, as well as hope. That doesn't mean that what she believes is true. So far, I haven't had the heart to tell her I'm an atheist. I just avoid discussing religion with her, so I don't say anything when she uses typical Southern religious terms. I know quite a few atheists that are in the closet when they are with Christians, but they enjoy getting together to socialize with other atheists, as a temporary escape from the Bible Belt.
   I think that a lot of religion has to do with humans having difficulty accepting their own mortality, or even the mortality of their pets. We now have the myth of the Rainbow Bridge, which promises us we will be reunited with our pets when we die. I get it. Heaven would be hell to me if my pets weren't there too. My late sister, who wasn't a Christian did believe that her pets crossed over the Rainbow Bridge into an afterlife and she would eventually join them. While to me that is nonsense, I guess it made it easier for her, whenever one of her little dogs died.
I doubt we have much control over what we believe or don't believe. There is obviously something in your brain that isn't in my brain that has made it difficult for you to totally rid yourself of the god belief. I don't think it's your fault because I don't believe in absolute freewill. Considering all of the  the influences on our brains, both environmental and genetic, it makes sense that some atheists have the problem that you do. I consider myself fortunate not to have a god living in my brain.
My husband and I do joke about the concept of god. We live in the Bible Belt, so we deal with outspoken Christians on almost a daily basis. So, for comic relief, we say things like, "God is good to atheists" when we get a good parking spot. Or "We are so blessed" when something positive happens. We don't literally mean these things. We are just using humorous sarcasm as a coping mechanism. I love the South, so I must love Christians, at least the good, moderate and liberal ones who don't try to force their beliefs on me. In return, while I am often open about my lack of belief in the gods as real entities, I have never evangelized and I'm careful not to be offensive, unless someone is attacking me for being an atheist. Character and values are all that matter to me.
 I live in a town dominated by Christians, so I do my best to accept that as part of the local culture. T Not once have I feared that there might be a god out there. It's not possible for me to believe in an invisible supernatural creature that controls things on earth. It left my brain many decades ago, but I still find some aspects of religious mythology interesting and I still try to understand why so many people take these myths as truth. I think Joseph Campbell does a pretty good job of explaining it in his book or PBS series, "The Power of Myth".
 I think there are a lot more atheists out there, then most people think, including in the pews of churches. I've met at least three atheists who also never left their Methodist church. They enjoyed the community, and the philosophy of the Gospel. I used to know a kind atheist man in Atlanta who went to church with his wife, just to be supportive of her. He met up with us once a month for our monthly group. We had lots of interesting speakers from all different backgrounds. We just no longer are up to driving to ATL for those meetings.
 I don't know if you are here to have serious discussions or if you're here to antagonize others or project your own beliefs and feelings on others. I just hope you will find a way to feel more secure and content. I hope that the god in your psyche doesn't cause you distress.
I do wonder why you frequently imply that the atheists here aren't being truthful when they tell you that they don't believe any gods.  Sorry for being so wordy. It's just my nature. 

That's all I have to say. I was just attempting to give you some food for thought from my perspective, as a strong atheist who has no fear of fiction.