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Greetings from the G7-Minus-1

S

Swammerdami

Squadron Leader
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Dec 15, 2017
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Land of Smiles
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First I thank for my appointment as Emergency Dictator of the G7M1. I am announcing a few Orders today.

(1) Browsers and Search engines wiĺl not be allowed to operate in the G7M1 unless they react to any 404 at a .gov domain by retrieving a recent page from archive.org. We will backup that site to a secure location in a friendly country.

(2) Countries imposing retaliatory tariffs are encouraged to make tariff percentage proportional to the fascist electoral power state by state or by county. Companies suspected of lying about manufacturing location will pay maximum rate.

I hope Infidels will suggest more Orders.
 
What is the scope of powers held by “Emergency Dictator of the G7M1”?
Knowing that, I’d probably have some ideas.
 
Breaking: Your title has been changed by executive order. It's a much more exciting, flashy title, and it comes with exciting new powers. You are now Emergency U.S. Plenipotentiary, attached to Customs and Border Protection. By the powers granted by the Barbary Pirate Extermination Act of 1804, you are entitled to collect tariff monies in person and deliver them to a bathroom and event center in Palm Beach, Florida. All such monies are now collectively called 'federal booty', as per the Disabled Clipper Ship Act of 1841. You are further authorized to set any tariff that you deem proper on Mexican jumping beans.
Breaking: You are no longer Emergency U.S. Plenipotentiary. An updated EO from the WH gives you a new title and expanded powers. You are now Vice Exchequer of the United States, working under the personal supervision of E. Musk, pursuant to the Guinea and Shilling Assessment Act of 1790 and the Teapot Dome Revenue Codes of 1920-21. You are authorized to seize, by midnight tonight, all Tim Horton stores and attach all goods and revenues of the Tim Horton Estate on U.S. soil, including unbaked donut ingredients.
What are you waiting for??
 
Unwise. McDonalds agreed to sunset DEI last month.
Better tactic: free catering to all Oval Office events and breakfast all day to same.
Also, The Trump: brand new combo consisting of a Double Big Arch with bacon chili cheese sauce + a high colonic.
 
Comments suggest some of you may be unfamiliar with G7M1. Until 2025 the G7 (Group of Seven) was a grouping of the Seven Democracies with largest economies. However only Six of those countries remain Democracies (hence the "Minus 1") and it is the remaining six countries that need a Czar to help coordinate their activities.

Here are some more Executive Orders I am considering:

(3) Two of the G7M1 have strategic nuclear weapons. They are hereby ordered to aim those weapons about 2 km south of Palm Beach, Florida. This targeting will be made public to allow civilians to evacuate the region.

(4) The G7M1 hereby expel all soldiers of any fascist government from their territories; with their equipment confiscated. We solemnly pledge to defend militarily all G7M1 nations, especially Canada. The NATO-Minus-1 organization will defend Denmark and its territories. We will also help defend Mexico and Panama if so asked.

(5) We seek peace. However if the renegade Fascist Regime further increases its egregious behavior against the G7M1 countries or our allies, we will disallow American aircraft from crossing our air-space; we will urge the government of Panama to impose large fees on ships crossing the Canal if they carry cargo from or to the Fascist Regime.

(6) We plan a G7M1 financial system which will coordinate with BRICS to reduce reliance on Dollar-based finance. We encourage our banks and other investors to sell their dollar-based stocks and bonds.

(7) The trade war which the Fascist Regime is starting will plunge all countries into a deep recession. But our retaliations are necessary to salvage civilization. Recall the results of mistakes made in the 1930s by assuming that a Psychopathic dictator could be trusted.
 
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