At my son's new job there's a printer. Does everything. Prints two sided, collates, staples, and 3-hole punches.
His boss has named it 'Goodbye Moscow.'
It's a finicky piece of carp. Some days it gives you what you want, some days it makes shit up, sort of fanfiction loosely based on what you asked for. Printouts 'inspired by' what was ordered.... He jokingly says that one day it'll just release the launch codes for the nukes 'and then it's Goodbye, Moscow.'
The second day, Son told boss: My dad works with nuclear weapons, and I asked him about printers and launch codes and he says that's stupid, no one shares launch codes with printers.
Boss: Well, I was just-
Son: But then I told him, 'It's a Canon.' And he went really pale and said, 'Maybe you should unplug it when you're not using it.'
Boss: Oh, that's... Wait, WHAT!?!?