Masturbation and the "normal" person

[Jolly_Penguin]

Masturbation is natural stress relief. Its as natural as eating, sleeping, burping, or taking a dump. Its nothing to be ashamed of or proud of. It just is.

 

[Jolly_Penguin]

2) When you do it in preference to sex with your partner.

But what if you're just really really good at it?

 

[funcouple-husband]

It wasn't supposed to make any mores sense than comparing drinking addiction with sex addiction. I accept they are seen by some as addictions. One is driven by genetics while the other is driven by social factors mainly lust. It's up to you to figure out which is which.*

*^{_{hint some get thirsty before the become drowsy others don't.}}

When did sexual attraction become a socially driven behavior? Are you saying I started to really like girls around age 12 because I saw other boys behaving as if they did?

I say sexual attraction is driven by hormones and sexual behavior is driven by social acceptance. Unless you are a person like me and don't care about public acceptance and my sexual behavior, for many, unacceptable and weird, but secretly intriguing for most. Am I wrong there?

 

[funcouple-husband]

2) When you do it in preference to sex with your partner.

But what if you're just really really good at it?

masturbation or sex with a partner? Or both?

 

[southernhybrid]

This is a good topic for the Morals & Principles subforum.

Why was/is masturbation often seen as immoral (to at least some degree)?

I don't know.

It is true that Christianity, for example, has tended to frown on it, and even today it is still considered a sin in many denominations.

My guess is that the answer to the question is multiple. Humans being a social species, we often frown on 'selfish' behaviours. And of course reproduction is the be all and end all 'goal' (consciously intended or otherwise) of every successful species, and one can't generally reproduce by having sex with oneself.

Well, since you asked, I think it's primarily Catholics that think masturbation is a "sin". But, some very conservative Protestant Christians also believe that. The Bible never mentions it at all, but the belief is based on the silly idea that sex is only for procreation. I was raised by fundamentalist Christians and the topic never came up. In fact, I never even knew there was such a thing until I was around 18. Yes I'm serious. Until I was about 19, I had a very sheltered life. Plus, that was back in the 50s and 60s, when most people didn't talk about sex.

On the other hand, I discovered my son at age 5, using a back vibrator that I had, to massage his genitals. He didn't realize that I saw him, so I quickly slipped away so he wouldn't know. I don't know if boys always discover the pleasurable sensations that come with massaging the genitals at earlier ages than girls do.

Anyway, it's very sad that some religions have made people feel guilty about what comes so natural to us. As long as it's consensual, I don't judge other people for their sexual fetishes. But, anything that becomes an addiction can certainly be a problem, as it takes away from some of the other wonderful things to enjoy in life. Still, I'm not one to judge. I'm not even sure how one defines a "sex addict". I guess to me, an addiction is something that takes over your life and keeps you from being able to function properly in other situations.

http://www.ncregister.com/blog/christianbrugger/is-masturbation-always-wrong

Q. I am 78 years old and have been married to my wife for 53 years. Lately I have begun to experience periodic impotence. My doctor recommends masturbation as he thinks my problem is psychological. Under these circumstances can masturbation be legitimate? Thank you.

A. The Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC) has this to say about masturbation:

“By masturbation is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. ‘Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action.’ ‘The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose.’ For here sexual pleasure is sought outside of ‘the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order and in which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieved’ [internal quotes from Persona Humana, 9]” (2352).

The Catechism defines masturbation here, in fact two times, as the deliberate stimulation of the genitals in order to derive sexual pleasure. So the desired end is sexual pleasure, and the means by which that end is pursued is the stimulation of the genitals. And the Catechism teaches that choosing these means for that end is gravely disordered and always wrong.

Isn't it sad that a religion that has a long history of exploiting children and others sexually, tells an older adult not to stimulate his genitals? So many aspects of religion are fucked up. If they were more knowledgable about evolution, they'd realize that both chimps and bonobos likely influenced the human sex drive. Bonobos are always ready for sex, while most female animals are only ready when they are fertile, leaving the males all ready to fight for the women. Too bad, we still have some human males who never evolved beyond that point, But, I digress.

The thing is that goofy Catholic answer says that all sex outside of marriage is a sin. So, what if the wife watches while the husband masturbates? Isn't that a form of martial sex? I'd say so. Some Catholics don't even.think a couple should have sex once they are too old to make babies. Sad!

I will say this. Most of my friends were Catholic when I was growing up and most of them ignored much of the nonsense that the church spouted. My best friend's parents always used birth control, so they only had two children. Some of my husband's extended family had 8 children. They were all known as "good Catholics." Hopefully, most believers don't fall for all of the bullshit they are told.

 

[steve_bank]

The anus did not evolve to accept the penis and the mouth did not evolve to receive sperm.

Sex is pleasurable because it is supposed to, procreation is important. Little else is as pleasurable.
It is seen as a corruption of natural impulses.

It is using sex for gratification other than procreation that some religious object to. A corruption of natural impulse. Eliminating liquid and solid waste is also pleasurable. You can say anal sex is a corruption of a natural function.

Someone who was focused on or fascinated by anal sections IMO has a psychological problem.
If we go down the path that most all in search of pleasure is normal with few exceptions than normal becomes pleasure in any way by any means.

There are clit battery powered stimulators women wear during the day with a remote switch for a buzz during the day.

People wear butt plugs. All that to me is bizarre and repents loss of self esteem and image. A need for constant sexual stimulation.

 

[Keith&Co.]

It is seen as a corruption of natural impulses.

Only uf you do it right.... i suggest some wime and a few stretching exercises.

Thing is, if we are talking evolution as a design process, it has no final goal. No judgment.
Even if a gazillion generations of reproduction ended with penis-in-vagina intercourse, there is no power or evolutionary force which will be disappointed if you stick it in anus, armpit, mouth, ear, or stretch out the urethra in your dick to accept your partner's penis.

Hell, the whole of evolution is trial-and-error, so you can NOT pervert natural urges by trial, or by error.
If you have the urge and it does not render you exiled from the gene pool, nature don't give a fuck no pun intended.

People wear butt plugs. All that to me is bizarre and repents loss of self esteem and image. A need for constant sexual stimulation.

Seems confused. If sex is the ultimate pleasure, wouldn't it seem natural to seek more and more of it?
Unless you want to see restaint or moderation as more pleasurable than sex...?

 

[funcouple-husband]

It is seen as a corruption of natural impulses.

Only uf you do it right.... i suggest some wime and a few stretching exercises.

Thing is, if we are talking evolution as a design process, it has no final goal. No judgment.
Even if a gazillion generations of reproduction ended with penis-in-vagina intercourse, there is no power or evolutionary force which will be disappointed if you stick it in anus, armpit, mouth, ear, or stretch out the urethra in your dick to accept your partner's penis.

Hell, the whole of evolution is trial-and-error, so you can NOT pervert natural urges by trial, or by error.
If you have the urge and it does not render you exiled from the gene pool, nature don't give a fuck no pun intended.

People wear butt plugs. All that to me is bizarre and repents loss of self esteem and image. A need for constant sexual stimulation.

Seems confused. If sex is the ultimate pleasure, wouldn't it seem natural to seek more and more of it?
Unless you want to see restaint or moderation as more pleasurable than sex...?

your second to last sentence struck home for me and the way I approach masturbation, every stage of the act of masturbation is the ultimate pleasure for me. jack off foreplay with hot porn, watching my cock go to full erection, lengthy cock and ball sack message, the feeling of the approaching climax and the urge to holding off as long as possible, the un-controllable sounds that are individual to each one of us and the final explosion of cream. For most that is the end of the self sex experience for now but for me that is just the end of round one and the challenge begins to achieve repeating rounds. Thus, the seeking of more and more of the pleasure.

 

[steve_bank]

I was not passing judgments.

The question is do we strive for a finer reality or do we rut around in the bushes having sex all the time. If we see ourselves as carnal animals then in the end all bets are off.

Go back to tribalism and fighting for survival. What modern history shows us that civilization is a thin veneer and it does not tale much to break down. Social norms are part of social cohesion. Can our civilization survive with no or little social norms?

I think the conservatives do have a valid point. If it is all self gratification what happens? We are seeing social breakdown everyday. The rise in gun violence. It is all related to social norms. Starting in the 60s drugs became normalized by music and Hollywood. We reap what we sow, large scale drug abuse problems across all levels of society. The protestant norm of delayed gratification is gone.

No sex norms may seem innocuous but socially it is part of a larger phenomena.

Despite the negatives in a community religion always kept a lid on things socially.

I will not be here, the next 50-100 years will see it all play out.

Social changes in history can have unintended consequences.

 

[steve_bank]

I am sorry but 'having an approach' to masturbation' is absurd at best. You wack off and it releases tension and feels good. Anything else is rationalization.

 

[Keith&Co.]

I was not passing judgments.

right, because calling something a corruption is a judgjent-free assessment. As with bizarre and loss-of-self-esteem...

The question is do we strive for a finer reality or do we rut around in the bushes having sex all the time.

well, that us a different question than invoking evolution as have a plan.
But 'finer reality' versus 'rutting in the bushes' are still loaded terms.

If we see ourselves as carnal animals then in the end all bets are off.

and more judgment.
We are animals, carnal is pleasuranle, but we can also hold down a job, even if we give the butt plug control to someone else.
As animals, we can try to choose where to set the balance between pleasure and responsibility.
And if you're not trying to get customer service from someone who left the butt plug controller beside the kids' fidget spinner, what is it to you?

Go back to tribalism and fighting for survival. What modern history shows us that civilization is a thin veneer and it does not tale much to break down. Social norms are part of social cohesion. Can our civilization survive with no or little social norms?

now, now, just because you find sex unseemly, that does not mean that those who are not in agreement have abandoned social norms entirely.
They just don't share yours.

Thirty years ago, it was pretty fucking unseemly to see a woman's bra straps. Now it is common, and even fashionable, with bras coming with multiple straps to match various shirts.
But despite my mother's opinion that only extroverted harlots exposed their bras, the women are no more likely to flash theor boobs than 30 years ago.... it us different, not t he end ofbthe world.

I think the conservatives do have a valid point. If it is all self gratification what happens?

the same thijng thst happens every college year for the last 500 years.
Someone concentrates on self-gratification, his/her grades go to shit, they learn that there are limits, learn to balance their life, and move on.

Every goddamned year.
Same thing happens the first command after boot camp.

It's part of life. The technical term is 'growing up.'

We are seeing social breakdown everyday. The rise in gun violence. It is all related to social norms.

feel free to show a causal link between casual sexual gratification and shooting a mall. At least some of the shooters are uncels, who blame all their problems on women NOT giving them easy sex.

 

[funcouple-husband]

place your bets everyone!! So my friend I spent tonight at the strip club and I asked him if he wanted to go back to my place and have some more beers and watch some porn. We caught an uber and when we arrived here, he said he was going to go home and shower and bring some more beer back. So what does everyone say....will he come back or not???A little background, he is in his 20s and he and I have never jacked off or even watched porn together, but he is close friends with guys that I have done both with. Since I just got on here a short time ago, have any of you noticed my wife on here tonight? She went to our cabin one day early so I half expect her to be on here tonight.

 

[fromderinside]

I say sexual attraction is driven by hormones and sexual behavior is driven by social acceptance. Unless you are a person like me and don't care about public acceptance and my sexual behavior, for many, unacceptable and weird, but secretly intriguing for most. Am I wrong there?

Rational? Proposition? FYI Check category.

 

[funcouple-husband]

I say sexual attraction is driven by hormones and sexual behavior is driven by social acceptance. Unless you are a person like me and don't care about public acceptance and my sexual behavior, for many, unacceptable and weird, but secretly intriguing for most. Am I wrong there?

Rational? Proposition? FYI Check category.

So I take it that if a sexual behavior is not your normal, then it is unacceptable?

 

[fromderinside]

No. You may take it if your post doesn't conform to category, then it's unacceptable.

 

[funcouple-husband]

what do you do when you are in the middle of an all night porn and jack off session (3 climaxes so far) and your buddy just sent a text that he is on his way over for some beers before he heads home. On top of that I just popped a Viagra about 30 minutes ago and is in full effect.

 

[funcouple-husband]

I thought I would share [edited: TMI]

 

[ruby sparks]

Can I just check. Is that your cock, your wife's cock, or both, or neither?

I admit I am getting a bit suspicious now.

 

[ruby sparks]

Can I just check. Is that your cock, your wife's cock, or both, or neither?

I admit I am getting a bit suspicious now.

Me too.

 

[funcouple]

I thought I would share my hard cock with you as I get close to climax #4 for the night [consistency]

OMG I can't believe my husband would post a big picture of his hard cock. Sure I am hornier than hell right now and I see his rock hard greased up cock that I would love to have pumping my shaved pussy. I always feels so good when that cock ring slams up against my pussy.