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Idiot puts Gorilla Glue in her hair and now wants to sue the company

My (our?) experience with safety briefs? Every fucking time we got a four day weekend, the safety brief would be about the shit some dumbass did last month to chew up the CO's long weekend sorting out said dumb shit.
I can honestly say there were at least ten occasions i stopped doing something because my spidey-safety-brief-sense went off.

I didn't detect danger. Rather i figured we were one khaki-clad observer or a log entry away from being tasked with giving the next safety brief. Or being written up in the Navy Safety Center's Factual Lines About Safety Hazards. "Recently, a sailor in this force thought he was smarter than the safety warning tagged to his operational device....(skip to the end)..." with a pithy ending about what goes thru the mind of someone trying to decapitate himself with a helo carrier or wanting to hurt the entire ten seconds it took to die.

And far more than ten times, i stoppped others by asking if they wa nted to be guest of honor at a safety stand-down.

And there he is, bringing it home. God I wish I had you to my left or my right when I was dealing with the chucklefucks instead.
 
I think that had there not been reporting that she may have been thinking of suing the glue company there may have been more sympathy.
 
I think that had there not been reporting that she may have been thinking of suing the glue company there may have been more sympathy.

For sure. But these stories have a lot of appeal, despite a risk of injury or death. There's a reason why Darwin Awards stories are so popular. We humans seem to have a rather morbid fascination with stupid people getting themselves into trouble.
 
I think that had there not been reporting that she may have been thinking of suing the glue company there may have been more sympathy.

For sure. But these stories have a lot of appeal, despite a risk of injury or death. There's a reason why Darwin Awards stories are so popular. We humans seem to have a rather morbid fascination with stupid people getting themselves into trouble.

It's not morbid. If it was, we'd be just as fascinated when smart people got hurt.
It's our innate moral sense. It should hurt to be stupid. So many people vome along and stupid at us, or in our proximity, and walk away blithely, that we fear there is no justice in the world.
So when someone commits stupid and there's a flagrant episode of "Oh, shit! Gravity works!", we find it justified.
 
If the Gorilla was smart, he'd do a TV spot with the actual lady and capitalize on the notoriety. It would have to be done with just the right touch of humor, and obviously she'd have to start by telling us not to do what she did. Then she could hold up the things she's learned to repair with GG.
Hire her for an ad and she won't be threatening to sue.
 
Or she could do a riff on that old 60's & '70's hair shampoo commercial:

I've just glued* my hair, and I can't do a thing with it!

* originally washed

[YOUTUBE]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4lx4txh0No[/YOUTUBE]
 
Idiotic salon patron: My hands get so rough from washing dishes. Isn't there something I could use to coat them and protect them from the Palmolive?
Madge: Gorilla Glue. You're soaking in it.
Idiotic salon patron: I'm soaking in Gorilla Glue?
Madge: What the fuck did I just say?? (To camera): Gorilla Glue. An unbeatable shield against Palmolive Dish Washing Liquid.
Voiceover: Gorilla Glue, available at Ace Hardware and other fine retailers.
 
So,the doctor is treating her for free, and any money raised by the GoFundMe that she doesn't use for travel to the doc's location, or the ER visit, about $20,000 is getting donated to the plastic surgeon's foundation to help others, and she is not suing the glue.

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&sou...FjADegQIARAB&usg=AOvVaw3uX2B_pBVzzbLLjpqkshv8

Tessa for President!
Seriously ... can't we get her or someone like her into elected office, or do they ALL have to be self-dealing, hypocritical gold diggers?
 
So,the doctor is treating her for free, and any money raised by the GoFundMe that she doesn't use for travel to the doc's location, or the ER visit, about $20,000 is getting donated to the plastic surgeon's foundation to help others, and she is not suing the glue.

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&sou...FjADegQIARAB&usg=AOvVaw3uX2B_pBVzzbLLjpqkshv8

Tessa for President!
Seriously ... can't we get her or someone like her into elected office, or do they ALL have to be self-dealing, hypocritical gold diggers?

Well, hard to build up a war chest if you accept the donations but give the monery to people that need it. The corporations might feel you didn't feel beholden to them....
 
So,the doctor is treating her for free, and any money raised by the GoFundMe that she doesn't use for travel to the doc's location, or the ER visit, about $20,000 is getting donated to the plastic surgeon's foundation to help others, and she is not suing the glue.

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&sou...FjADegQIARAB&usg=AOvVaw3uX2B_pBVzzbLLjpqkshv8

Tessa for President!
Seriously ... can't we get her or someone like her into elected office, or do they ALL have to be self-dealing, hypocritical gold diggers?

She is still dangerously stupid, and there are more than enough of those in office.
 
So,the doctor is treating her for free, and any money raised by the GoFundMe that she doesn't use for travel to the doc's location, or the ER visit, about $20,000 is getting donated to the plastic surgeon's foundation to help others, and she is not suing the glue.

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&sou...FjADegQIARAB&usg=AOvVaw3uX2B_pBVzzbLLjpqkshv8

Tessa for President!
Seriously ... can't we get her or someone like her into elected office, or do they ALL have to be self-dealing, hypocritical gold diggers?

Careful what you wish for. If she appeared on the ballot as "Gorilla Glue Girl" it just might happen.
 
Would you want to live through four, or Zeus forbid, eight years of bad puns in the news about cementing our relations with NATO nations, our deep bond with Israel, or the President holding a coalition together? Or sticky diplomatic situations? Or... no, that's enough.
 
because no one in this thread has ever done anything stupid

Not intending to say that. Just saying that ALSO some of the stupidest ones are staged for performance art.
 
Derec said:
This case of the case where that old woman got many millions because she poured hot coffee in her lap

God Damn It, Derec.
Not this shit again.
Look, this dumb bitch may just be a dumb bitch but you had to go and fuck it all up with this mention of the Chamber of Commerce's little poster boy for Tort Reform. The McDonalds Hot Coffee Incident, used for decades as the model for why multi-billion-dollar mega-corporations are the poor weak victims of accountability to the public safety.

The woman spilled, not poured, hot coffee into her lap because the lid was not properly fastened - claims she was driving were false. She drove through the drive through and then parked. she was not moving, in a parking space, when she lifted the incorrectly secured cup. being in the car it took her several seconds to free herself of that scalding liquid. The injuries were significant 3rd degree burns on a large portion of her pelvis and legs
The coffee she was served was 20 degrees hotter than the maximum allowed, for safety reasons
That specific McDonalds had multiple prior complaints about the coffee being BOILING
Corporate memos instructing that McDonalds to lower the temperature to the correct amount as per franchise rules were ignored - the manager admitted that the reason they kept the coffee so hot was because it "kept longer" so they wouldn't have to make a fresh batch in the afternoon.
The woman had multiple surgeries involving skin grafts to attempt to heal her injuries
The dollar amount awarded to her was exactly in line with standard formulas used for suffering injury from a product. In this case, it was the revenu from 1 day of coffee sales.
McDonalds lost 1 day of coffee sales as the award.
The lady that suffered the injury subsequently died from complications arising from treatment for the injuries.

so stop bringing this case up for tort reform.... McDonalds got off easy and the victim fucking died.
 
Derec said:
This case of the case where that old woman got many millions because she poured hot coffee in her lap

God Damn It, Derec.
Not this shit again.
Look, this dumb bitch may just be a dumb bitch but you had to go and fuck it all up with this mention of the Chamber of Commerce's little poster boy for Tort Reform. The McDonalds Hot Coffee Incident, used for decades as the model for why multi-billion-dollar mega-corporations are the poor weak victims of accountability to the public safety.

The woman spilled, not poured, hot coffee into her lap because the lid was not properly fastened - claims she was driving were false. She drove through the drive through and then parked. she was not moving, in a parking space, when she lifted the incorrectly secured cup. being in the car it took her several seconds to free herself of that scalding liquid. The injuries were significant 3rd degree burns on a large portion of her pelvis and legs
The coffee she was served was 20 degrees hotter than the maximum allowed, for safety reasons
That specific McDonalds had multiple prior complaints about the coffee being BOILING
Corporate memos instructing that McDonalds to lower the temperature to the correct amount as per franchise rules were ignored - the manager admitted that the reason they kept the coffee so hot was because it "kept longer" so they wouldn't have to make a fresh batch in the afternoon.
The woman had multiple surgeries involving skin grafts to attempt to heal her injuries
The dollar amount awarded to her was exactly in line with standard formulas used for suffering injury from a product. In this case, it was the revenu from 1 day of coffee sales.
McDonalds lost 1 day of coffee sales as the award.
The lady that suffered the injury subsequently died from complications arising from treatment for the injuries.

so stop bringing this case up for tort reform.... McDonalds got off easy and the victim fucking died.

Also, the McDonalds rep who was called to testify admitted under oath that the coffee Ms. Liebeck was served was “not fit for consumption”.. If that isn't a health and safety code violation for a restaurant, what is?
 
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